Peer Pressure Works!

Up until an hour ago, I was totally unaware of some horrible, monstrous yuletide thing that is apparently a tradition for lackwits and freaks. Then my sister Pam sent me an email linking to a stupendous mom rant about this ridiculous thing. The name of this denizen of Hell? The Elf on the Shelf. The premise of this horrendous shitball of stupidity is that you put this in your house so that your children will [...]

Yes indeed, Brad has once more given me a generous gift. Oh, but he got his. I purchased for him a game called My Boyfriend where he’ll play as an underage girl flirting with cute boys and solving mysteries. Not only will it be hilarious to read about his exploits with said game, it may also make him liable for delinquency of a digital minor. Don’t play with fire unless you want to get burnt [...]

This is going to be a quick one, simply because I don’t want to give too much away. This game is packed full of awesome. Beautiful, ridiculous awesome. And to spoil too much of that would be criminal. This is one of those ‘do whatever the Hell you want’ sort of games, like Grand Theft Auto. But like Grand Theft Auto with the insanity meter cranked up to about 217. A few bits I will [...]

I delight in exposing people to the absolutely horrific shit piles that are occasionally splattered around the bowl in the realm of popular music because I’m a dick. And the chance to do that AND still feed in to a seasonal theme? PRICELESS. I know I said this during the whole Rebecca Black post, but I’ll say it again here because it is once again true : this is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever [...]

Hellz yeah, bitchez! These are the gloating words of a man who finished his Christmas shopping two weeks ago. Yes indeed, I have finally learned the lesson that getting it over and done with as quickly and efficiently as possible is a winning strategy. I get to relax, and I don’t need to worry about potentially murdering someone in a crowded parking lot. Well okay…the worry is still there, it just isn’t nearly as severe. [...]

Welcome to Hell. A bit of background. Some time ago, Brad purchased for me as a joke the game Imagine : Champion Rider. It’s a stupid game about riding horses and dressing them up and stuff that I was to do a multi post AAR about. I had it planned out but I haven’t gotten to it, mostly because work has been horrible quite often of late. I need to be in a certain silly [...]

Yes, it does look like that. It’s pretty sweet. Dust kicks up under foot or from a passing helo. Rubble sprinkles down after a tank round slams in to a wall. Perhaps you’ll spot the glint of a sniper scope in time to dive for cover. You’ll hear bullets crack by as they get close. Grenades will make your hearing ring briefly after exploding nearby, or maybe they’ll rattle down the sidewalk a bit further [...]

For it was on that great day in the year 2011 that Cliff did finish his Chri9stmas shopping for that year. And there was an outpouring of emotion… And Cliff did exalt in his joy at not having to face the crowds of people son to infest every single shopping area in the land. Seriously, get as much of this shit done as early as you can. It is a hard lesson learned. Avoid the [...]

I’m a sports fan. Not really a shocking statement. I also enjoy coffee, beer and steak. WOO! Mind blowing revelations! So yeah, sports. Good stuff. Entertaining. But there comes a limit when fandom ends and reality has to enter the equation, or you’re just a complete fucking loon. There are a lot of complete fucking loons at Penn State University. Turns out a long time assistant coach (Jerry Sandusky) has been indicted for sexually assaulting [...]

Okay, not all of you deserve that. But some of you are complete and utter failures, and I hate the fact that you exist. Let’s paint a little picture for everyone. I’m at Toys R Us, doing some Christmas shopping. Yes, I’ve started…I actually started a week ago. It beats the shit out of waiting until the last minute. Okay, so I’m shopping for the nieces and nephew. Hey, Toys R Us is having a [...]