Nobody would ever complain that Crysis doesn’t look nice enough. Christ, the game came out in 2007, and only now does anyone even possess a system with enough horsepower to run it with all of the graphics options cranked. My computer isn’t state of the art (Intel Core 2 Duo 3.0 GHz processor, NVidia GeForce 8800GTS 512 graphics card, 4 GB 1066 MHz DDR2 memory), but back then it would have been up there…and I have half the settings dropped to Medium. Even with that, persistent memory leak problems mean that the longer I play, the more the animation engine starts to chug.

And that complete lack of optimization for its time is part of the issue with this game…it’s really pretty, but it possesses the intelligence of a can of beer. On top of that, broken ‘features’ and issues that were never resolved are splattered all over this mess. It’s like the hot girl with no personality…there’s no reason to stick around.

Normally I don’t notice ragdoll physics (basically, objects and bodies reacting to being hit/shot/pushed in a somewhat realistic manner) in a game. I noticed them here because they’re absurd. Bodies seem to become weightless in a weird way, as though a whole different set of physics apply to them now that they’re no longer living. They sort of float around the space they are occupying, until typically getting stuck in the terrain in one of thousands of clipping glitches you’ll encounter. It’s so awesome when stealthily moving through a base is ruined by an enemy’s gun getting ‘stuck’ in the floor and proceeding to rattle around like a garbage bin being smashed by a baseball bat. What’s even worse about these problems is that this stuff worked in FEAR, and that game came out 2 years before this did.

And good lord are those enemy soldiers fucking stupid. Guys walking around in heavy armour, wielding chain guns…but you keep shooting them in the back of the head from a distance and they keep looking the other way. Hey moron, the bullets are hitting THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD! Maybe turn around!! It’s like engaging in a battle to the death with The Three Stooges long after they’ve beaten and abused each other in to a state of drooling retardation.

And as you play through the cliche story (You and your unit of super troopers in nano suits drop on an island swarming with North Koreans to rescue a science team, only something alien is involved as well…), it’s just one stupid scene after another of stupid enemies doing stupid things in a stupid manner. Even the big game play ‘gimmick’ of the nano suits just isn’t very interesting. You can switch between 4 modes…Strength, Shielding, Speed or Stealth. But you only have a finite pool of energy that must be allowed to recharge. The problem is that the energy charges back up so quickly that it really doesn’t ever force you in to a tough spot, or even to switch up tactics that much.

Crytek had the gall to complain about poor sales for this shit show, blaming it entirely on piracy. Gee guys…you made a game that couldn’t run worth a damn on 95% of computers on the market when this was published. Making matters worse, it was so horribly optimized at launch that it didn’t run well on the PC’s that supposedly could handle it anyway. And when people finally do crack in to the game, they encounter a bug riddled disaster because you professional graphics whores couldn’t be bothered to work on anything but the shinies. Can’t BELIEVE such a Tour de Force of broken potential didn’t sell huge!

This game is everything that’s wrong with the gaming industry. Half baked gimmicks and an over-emphasis on graphics creating nothing but a generic collection of partially realized potential and head-shakingly stupid bugs. I’ve mocked ArmA II in the past, but at least they’re trying to create something new and worthwhile, and it runs in to issues with AI because they’ve tried to do too much. These guys are running in to issues with AI because they couldn’t be bothered to actually program a game…it’s a glorified tech demo for your graphics card. And yet this disaster received massive reviews, scoring an average of 91/100 on Metacritic. It’s just another indication that so called ‘professional’ game reviewers frequently don’t get past how nice things look as they run around doing their “Pew Pew!” thing through a level of mongoloid error merchants.

I’m told that Crysis Warhead is much better done, and I do own it as part of my purchase of the Maximum Edition. However, I just don’t think I care. This debacle has soured me on the entire franchise, so that I could give a damn about the upcoming sequel too. I have no doubt it will consist of more of the same…really shiny characters doing unbelievably stupid things. I don’t care. And if that really is the direction this clueless collection of programmers has yet again gone, I sincerely hope it puts them out of business. We don’t need more piles of fecal matter like this cluttering the market.

Ladies and gentlemen…a rare game that I flat out regret purchasing. What a waste of the 10 or so hours it took me to just give up and uninstall this dreck. Good riddance, Crysis. You are one of the most utterly pointless AAA games that I have ever spent time with.

The original Alien Swarm was a mod for Unreal Tournament 2004, a top down co-op shooter conversion that skirted as close to the Aliens license as not wanting to be sued would allow. The mod group then announced that they would be making a full fledged game release of the mod. Silence followed.

Well, today that silence is filled with gunfire, screams for help and the shrieks of aliens as they explode in a torrent of greenish fluid. Alien Swarm, the full game, has been released on Steam. It’s primarily a multiplayer game, so the only single player component is a one level ‘learn how to play the game and not look like a retard’ option. 7 multiplayer maps are available, but more are on the way. Also, with a full set of mod tools being released (as well as the latest Source engine SDK), expect a lot more from the community, and probably some stand-alone game mods as well.

How much is it? The grand price of FREE. Why is it that people like Valve, again? Just load up your Steam client and install this bad boy (it may take awhile…not surprisingly, the servers are straining under the load of other cheap bastards).

I would definitely suggest playing the tutorial first to get a feel for it. It’s a 3/4 view co-op shooter where you’re one member of a 4 man team. Before each mission, your team will assemble itself, and off you go. You can choose your 2 weapons and any extra gear, with more guns and gear becoming available the more you play.

It is most definitely a co-op game! You need a tech who can hack in to consoles and door controls. You need a dude with ammo reload packages. You need a medic who will throw down ‘healing aura’ type things. Scrounge up hand welders and seal doors and hatches. Assemble sentry turrets if you find them.

And for fuck’s sake, remember fields of fire! You CAN demolish your teammates, so please watch where you’re blasting those incendiary grenades, thanks.

Definitely fun so far. And as is the benefit with pretty much all Source engine games, you don’t need a supercomputer to run it. No Mac version as of yet, but with Valve really pushing forward with Steamplay versions (one buy gets you permanent access to PC and Mac versions) of all of their first party titles, I’d imagine it’s coming.

Incidentally, for those with Steam accounts, feel free to add me to your friends list (arcticblaster76).

Metro 2033 is a linear, first person shooter variant on the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games. The other comparable between the two…both are based on a Russian novel. Now, on the plus side for Metro is that I was so taken with the atmosphere and setting that I actually really want to track down an English translation of the book and give it a read.

It’s the year 2033. A few decades after a nuclear holocaust, what’s left of Russian society lives in the Moscow metro network (which is actually pretty realistic, seeing as the subway systems were built to also be used as gigantic fallout shelters). Seeing as it’s a post apocalyptic universe, money is pointless…the currency here is military grade ammunition. I really liked that…not only is a reasonable value item that would be prized, but it creates an interesting game play dynamic as you work your way through the levels. Do I stick with my reload ammo, or do I risk blasting off a mag’s worth of mil-grade stuff? Sure, I can kill that demon more easily, but I might also not be able to afford that kickass sniper rifle between missions.

The stations defend themselves from mutants, but there are also demons who roam the surface. Gigantic winged bastards who swoop in and maul the shit out of you, or big ape-like beasts that roam certain sections of the ruins. Whether or not they’re actually demonic creatures is unknown…the game doesn’t exactly load up on religious or spiritual overtones, so I suspect they’ve just been tabbed as demonic since the damn things are near impossible to kill without some heavy artillery.

And that brings us to my big, BIG problem with this game.

There are several levels where you’re picking your way through, trying to find something, unsure of where to go next. That’s fine. Then they throw in numerous demonic creatures you have to run with. And that mix produces frustration to a level that you will want to track down the level designers and curb stomp their entire family in front of them. You’re running around, trying to keep away, not sure where to go, turn here and…dead end. Great. Now I’m dead. Start over and…okay, turn THIs way, good…oh, there’s a hole I should have jumped! Cornered. Dead. It turns in to memorization, where any false move results in a monstrous entity eating your face. I HATE shit like this in a game. This isn’t a fucking game of Simon! I cannot stand game levels where I die not because I screwed up, or because someone got the drop on me…but simply because I guessed wrong. Again…and again…and again. That isn’t creative, it isn’t interesting, it’s shitty level design.

Aside from those levels, I loved it. Sure it’s linear, but you can kind of play the game how you want to play it. Feel like loading up on throwing knives and silenced weapons and sneaking through levels of bad guys? Do it. Want to arm up with auto shotguns, sticky bombs and enough other firepower to make you a Russian version of Rambo? You can do that, too.

A you travel through the Metro network, you’ll encounter various human factions as well. Bandits want to take out everyone they see to sell their gear. Hardcore commies and fascists have returned to this part of the world, and are engaging in open warfare. Couple them with gigantic mutated dog-like creatures and demons and you have a lot of shit trying to kill your ass.

The world in which you encounter them is fantastic. You need to maintain your gas mask for those trips to the surface. Let it get busted up, and you’d better scramble and find a replacement before the air poisons you. Oh, and grab every filter you can get your hands on. See the blur in that screen shot I posted up there with the winged guy coming in to snack on your flesh? Yeah, that’s condensation building up in your mask…that, and the sound of your breathing, tells you how much longer your filter has. And stay away from the shadows. I don’t mean actual shadows, I mean the shadows of people who have died badly, and which very much are still ‘alive’ in the catacombs of the subway tunnels.

Then there is the unknown. Weird vortexes that seem to be opening up between dimensions. Balls of static electricity that travel down tunnels until they find something alive and purge it out of existence with one gigantic zap.

Finally, there are The Dark Ones. Who knows what they are? They seem sort of humanoid, consisting of shifting shadowy light around some sort of form. Their touch can bring madness, but they seem to have some sort of link with you. More than once, as you and someone else are about to be pulled in to some spatial anomaly, a shifting hand comes out of nowhere and pulls you to safety.

And the ending deals directly with them. A missile strike has been suggested against the area of what used to the city where they’re most often seen. You need to set up the targeting of that strike. The final level is a madness of shifting between reality and…some other form of reality, where floors are manifesting in front of you out of a void. Voices hiss, some saying you must be destroyed before you destroy them, others begging patience. Turn a corner and a dark one is coming for you. Go back the other way, and you’re facing a different path than was there before. And you reach the end…

There are two endings. One is technically called the ‘good’ ending and the other the ‘bad’ version, but they’re both open enough that I don’t really think either is necessarily heroic or villainous. They certainly don’t paint you one way or the other. Do you help devastate the Dark Ones? Okay. Maybe it works out, and you’ve saved humanity. Of course, their very creation seems to have been the result of war and destruction, so who the fuck knows what might manifest itself to replace them? You stopped the strike? Okay. Maybe humanity and these mysterious things can live together, or maybe you’ve damned what’s left of your species to be replaced in a cruel twist of evolution. I’ve become a much bigger fan of more nebulous endings as time has gone on, so I definitely appreciated it.

There’s so much good here that I need to read the source material to see if it fills in some blanks and gets more deeply in to the richness that’s there. Unfortunately, the few bad levels were so fucking infuriating that I don’t think I will ever pick this up to play it through again.

Sure that picture is ridiculously outsized…it’s also awesome.

Since a number of you had expressed interest when I previously blogged about the game, I thought I’d let you know that it’s a daily Steam deal for $6.79 today. Even if you don’t yet have the computer you’ll be playing it on, start a Steam account and buy it. You can just install the Steam client on your proper gaming rig later and download and install it. It won’t get cheaper than this for awhile.

/merciless shilling

One other note : Steam keeps ADDING games to this thing. So the roster of sales content keeps expanding.

Anyway, on with the show! The RPG, Indie, Casual games are the focus in this part. Since I really don’t play Racing games, Sports games on PC are a meagre lot and the only stuff in the Family and Simulation sections that I would mention has already been covered elsewhere, I won’t be bothering with those. So this shall be the final such post. Rejoice!

RPG (54 in total on sale)

The Witcher Enhanced Edition : Director’s Cut 66% off – $6.79

If you like RPG’s and can run this game, buy it. If you don’t, punch yourself in the face while holding a wrench. Definitely fits in that dark fantasy category. Almost every choice you make has repercussions, often every option will lead to someone’s doom. No BioWare-esque pretty little ‘good guy’ and ‘bad guy’ choices all wrapped up in a lame bow. Also, you aren’t exactly heroic. You help nobody without them paying you. You’re also just a bit of a drunken lout.

Gothic 3 50% off – $7.49

This comes with a big caveat…it NEEDS the community fan patch. The developers actually helped work it up because the game was a disaster at release. The Steam version comes with an older version of the fan patch, and the newer ones can be found here. The game itself is a big, open world. Go wherever you want whenever you want to. There are quests and creatures everywhere, and the world does NOT level based on your own character development. You need to learn that running is not a bad thing, otherwise that Level 18 Cave Troll will crush your Level 2 Ranger like a bug.

Spellforce – Platinum Edition 50% off – $7.49

This version includes all of the content from two expansions for the base game. This is an interesting RPG/RTS hybrid. You have your party of main characters who you level up and develop. As you pass through various scenarios in the game, you also will do some base building and build an army to hold on to a village or launch an offensive against enemies of the crown. Some of the later scenarios get big and difficult.

Torchlight 50% off – $9.99

Solid little dungeon crawler. Beneath the town of Torchlight, evil is rumbling. Go down in to the mines and dungeons beneath (which are randomly generated every time you start a new game) and fight A LOT of bad guys. As you get deeper, they get tougher. Of course, you do too. Choose either a shooter, a mage or a melee fighter, and gradually improve your character and your gear. One nice addition…you can load up your pet with excess equipment and send THEM back to town to sell it off.

Mount & Blade : Warband 50% off – $14.99

The original game is also at half price. Warband adds multiplayer battles and some graphical improvements and a few other additions to the game, but doesn’t have the wealth of mods yet that the original game does. This is a true sandbox game. Start with your basic character and do whatever you want in a replica of 13th Century Europe. Gather up recruits and choose how they level up as well as adding to your own player skills. You can be a trader. You can be a brigand. You can ally yourself to a King as his vassal, or you can ally with a rival for the throne and try to help bring that King down. An entire medieval world runs around you all on its own with you as just a part of the story. If you need quests and rails in your gaming, this is not for you. And the tactical battles are a lot of fun, ESPECIALLY mounted combat.

Indie (61 in total on sale)

Altitude 66% off – $3.40

A primarily multiplayer focused little shooter, though you can play solo against AI bots. It’s a side scrolling arcade flight combat game.  Different game modes (straight dogfights – both free for all and team based, bombing run missions, base defense/raid missions, Plane Ball, etc.), and you unlock new aircraft and new weapons and upgrades as you play. Controls decently with the mouse and keyboard, but would probably be better if you have a game pad for your PC.

Audiosurf 50% off – $4.99

This is a hard one to explain quickly. It’s another game based on your music collection, but isn’t nearly as reliant on faster songs as Beat Hazard is. Your song of choice is used to construct a track that you drive along. On that track are blocks of different colours…you need to gather sets of the same colour in order in your ‘basket’ section at the bottom of the screen…matches score you points and remove the blocks from your basket. Eventually, without matches, it fills up and you lose points. Everything from the undulations of the track to the colour of the blocks is based on the tempo or ‘warmth’ of your chosen song. After you’re done, your score will be matched against every other play through of that song recorded on the Steam servers. Lots of different modes of play with changes to the basic game template, too. Another terrific game if you have a decent collection of music.

Defense Grid : The Awakening & Sol Survivor 50% off- $4.99 each

Since they’re both tower defense games, it seemed appropriate to combo them in to one bit here. Defense Grid is the more traditional game. A single player game against an AI where you construct 10 different tower types with 3 different power levels each against 15 different kinds of aliens, trying to stop them from stealing your power cores. Also available are different map packs for 99 cents a pop. Sol Survivor has more of a ‘give and take’ style, with both sides constructing both defense turrets AND offensive units. You can also play it both co-op against an AI team and head to head against other human players. And orbital bombardment weapons typically = fun.

Madballs in Babo : Invasion 50% off – $4.99

Remember Madballs? The designers of this game did. It’s an isometric 3rd person shooter, with you as the Madball of your choice. Each one is part of a different class with different strengths and weaknesses. As you play, you’ll unlock special abilities, weapons and character skins as well. You can play solo or co-op, or play with up to 16 players total in multiplayer maps. Has one of the most fun MP features I’ve ever seen anywhere…Invasion mode. Before the game begins, the players actually construct the map they’ll play on by taking turns laying down tiles with every type of terrain feature and trap and pathway in the game available.

Trine 50% off – $9.99

One of the most gorgeous indie games I’ve ever seen. Anyway, you’re three different characters…a Wizard (can craft blocks and levitate items), Thief (Most athletic and armed with a bow) and fighter (Heavy armour and vicious melee strikes and a shield) all rolled in to one thanks to the Trine…also known as ‘convenient story device’. Now you can switch between the three on the fly as you move through side scrolling levels full of enemies and physics puzzles. The more bonus loot you can reach, the more you can power up your characters and their abilities.

Eufloria 50% off – $9.99

It’s a game with soothing music that wouldn’t be out of place in a massage parlour, where you plant trees and send flocks of birds out to explore the world around you and plant spores. It’s also a game where those spores grow in to more trees that serve as bird ‘production’ facilities, and where your flocks will engage in vicious combat with the flocks of other players. And thanks to the spartan graphics style, you could probably run this thing on a calculator. It can be a bit quibbly at times, but it’s generally a solidly put together game for a 25 scenario one player campaign or in skirmish mode against up to 7 other players (human and/or AI controlled).

Casual (70 in total on sale)

Puzzle Kingdoms 95% off – $1.00

It’s a dollar…do I really need to say more here? Okay, you plan out strategic moves on an overall map, then play out the resulting battles by matching up attack stones and build up mana for power strikes by matching coloured gems. Did I mention IT’S A DOLLAR?

And Yet it Moves 50% off – $4.99

Some of the most unique graphics I’ve ever seen in a game, with everything looking like paper cut outs. You’re that paper dude above, trying to traverse level after level that moves in every direction. And I mean that literally, since you get through and around things by moving yourself AND rotating the level around you. The good news…it’s usually fairly fun. The bad news…the controls are a bit weird, and you will die…a lot.

Trials 2 : Second Edition 50% off – $4.99

You’re no doubt wondering why I’m putting a racing game in here when I said I wouldn’t at the start of this post. And I didn’t! This is actually a puzzle game. No…really…I’m being entirely serious. It’s a side scrolling series of physics puzzles. Weight balance, momentum and angle are all part of the equation as you try to get your racer from one end of an obstacle course to another without wiping out in brutal fashion…and you will…a lot. Ragdoll physics make those ‘accidents’ amusing.

Plants vs. Zombies 30% off – $6.69

If you still haven’t played this, do so. You set various types of plants, getting access to newer ones as you play. You try to thwart bands of the walking dead from reaching your house, with various new zombie types appearing as you play. It’s insanely fun. Lots of other play modes as well. Get the damn thing!

And we’re done! There are a LOT of good games on sale that are worth grabbing, but hopefully through the three posts I’ve highlighted a few of them for you. Go forth, spend money, GAME you magnificent bastards…GAME!

But first, something that was a daily deal on Thursday, but is STILL a great deal at its ‘normal’ sales price.

Overlord II 66% off – $6.79

The first game is also marked down, but the second one is tighter…not nearly as many weird glitches and annoying issues. You’re that big badass in the armour. Those dudes riding wolves are your minions…use various minion types to slowly take the world back from the Roman empire. The best part about the game is the humour. Minions will feast on food and chug beer until they’re stumbling drunkenly and pissing themselves. They’ll loot houses and take whatever they can find for themselves…like a vicious whisk melee weapon. They might raid a pumpkin patch and don a hollowed out gourd as a helm. Or they might kill some seals and immediately craft hats from their corpses. Funny stuff, funny dialogue, fun game.

Strategy (130 in total on sale)

Space Empires IV Deluxe 66% off – $3.39

Welcome to a large scale Space 4X game. If you don’t know what a Space 4X game is, you do not want this. Tech research, planet development, ship building, diplomacy, rebellions, tactical combat…everything is in here. Lots of mods that bring the game in to the universes of Star Wars, Star Trek, Babylon 5 and others. Not so much with the pretty pretty, much more with the details.

Tropico Reloaded 66% off – $3.39

Tropico is one of my all time favourite games, and though I will be mentioning Tropico 3 later on, this is a good budget alternative. The island of Tropico is your domain. As a dictator, you can choose whether to be benevolent or cruel. Crush dissent, assassinate possible problems, or try to win over those against you by building structures and industries that benefit them. And be sure to regularly pull money from the national coffers and sock it away in a hidden bank account! Not too much…the military might find out and take you down. This package actually includes Tropico, the Paradise Island add-on and Tropico 2…a game that sees you as a pirate, running industries and producing consumer goods…? Yeah.

Men of War 75% off – $3.74

Oh look, a WW2 RTS game! How original! This one features a lot more small unit actions in battles that normally don’t get all the glory. I found it a bit micromanagement intensive (sometimes individual troops don’t grab ammo unless ordered to, for example), but overall it’s a well done game. The skirmish mode might actually be more fun than the campaigns, and I’m told that multiplayer is a ton of fun as well. Also available is the Red Tide standalone expansion, focusing on the campaigns of the Soviet Black Coats marines in the Caucasus. Like I said, not exactly spending a lot of time on the usual ‘Been there, done that’ battles.

Take Command : 2nd Manassas 50% off – $4.99

It’s certainly not graphically up to par. It’s a game taking place during the US Civil War, a subject that I’m sufficiently well versed in to be able to say with some conviction that “Yes, it happened.” Awhile back, I decided to branch out and get out of my comfort zones when it comes to gaming. I had heard this was an interesting game, and it was on sale…so what the fuck, right? What I found was a very interesting command sim. See, you don’t actually directly control all of those units…in the bigger scenarios, you can’t (unless madness is your goal). You issue orders to subordinates. Those subordinates then execute them…that is, if they understand them properly…and if your horse messengers carrying those orders aren’t killed en route. It’s a refreshingly different kind of game, and because of that I’m willing to recommend it even in the face of nearly worthless artillery.

Grand Ages : Rome 66% off – $6.79

Another one where I need to give it a try, but it sounds a lot like Tropico set in Ancient Rome mixed with a 4X RTS game. You’ll build up your cities, build up armies, and explore the world around you. Conquer and befriend to expand your territory and reach. And any game that claims to have removed micromanagement from the economy has my attention. It starts as a city builder, but it can grow well beyond that. This is the sequel to a game called Imperium Romanum, which was solid.

Jagged Alliance 2 Gold 66% off – $6.79

Though an older game (cause, you know, you couldn’t tell that from that screen shot…), this is still one of the best, if not the best, tactical squad games around. Hire your mercenaries, gear them up, then head out. Missions all over the place, firefights everywhere, money to be made. Your mercs can leave of their own accord, be wounded, train up skills between missions. Buy weapons and gear from dealers…gear that might not turn out to be as good as advertised. You need a solid force mix, but a lot of these guys don’t exactly get along…enjoy dealing with personality conflicts as your best shooter and your explosives guy start bitching at each other. Okay, you probably won’t enjoy that, but you will like the rest of it.

AI War : Fleet Command 66% off – $6.80

Tens of thousands of ships under your command. 16 billion different maps possible. Play alone, or with up to 8 players co-op against the AI. Sounds like a management nightmare sufficient enough to give people a stroke! But it isn’t. The whole point is a lack of micromanagement. It’s you against a rogue AI in a war for the universe…only this is a different kind of game AI. It’s reactive…it acts based on what you do. Hit too hard too fast and you’ll attract big enough attacks that you’ll be wiped out of existence. So you have to pick and choose, sort of like you’re leading an intergalactic guerrilla war. Very good game. Also worth checking out if you grab it is the Zenith Remnant expansion for $3.40.

Knights of Honor 50% off – $7.49

Like Birth of America, this is a fantastic ‘starter’ strategy game. You’ll lead your nation in development, construction and military operations. There’s no micromanaging of various segments of the economy or anything like that…just worry about a positive cash flow. Resources are in the game, but they aren’t complicated. And the tactical real time battles aren’t going to overwhelm many, though they do seem to suffer from outrageous casualty rates at time. And if you manage to sneak a spy in to the employ of an unwitting rival…oh the fun havoc that you can wreak! Very highly recommend this one.

Gratuitous Space Battles 50% off – $9.99

See that crazy battle going on? Yep, all that you ever get to do is look at them. You will give initial orders to your forces…formations, targeting, priorities and the like…then you start and watch what unfolds. Different scenarios deliver different goals, enemy vessels, and restrictions on your forces. As you play, you’ll unlock new technologies you can use when building ships. The shipbuilder is almost a game unto itself. You have to balance weight vs. engine power, weapons and armour vs. overall mass and everything vs. the amount of power generation you can load in to that hull.

Tropico 3 – Steam Special Edition 66% off – $10.19

It has clearly gotten a graphical coat of paint from the days of the original game. Beyond that, the interface has been cleaned up and made easier to navigate. Balance your standing amongst the Americans and Russians or face an invasion. Perhaps you could afford to set up the East end of your island as a nuke test site? As with the original, you can play the campaign missions, or just play a free form game. Every single Tropican’s beliefs and desires are now measured by the game. And enjoy shouting political speeches from the balcony of your mansion to the proletariat! Will they cheer, or will you be dodging sniper fire? Also check out the Absolute Power expansion for $6.79.

Sword of the Stars : Complete Collection 50% off – $14.99

Another Space 4X game, this one is much more streamlined and focused on tactical combat. You’ll explore the galaxy and colonize planets, but that’s virtually all there is to managing your empire. So if you like really diving in to planetary management and economic balancing, this isn’t the game for you. The real time tactical battles are the star here. Not only can you give orders to each ship, you can target individual parts of enemy ships. Hell, you can target different weapons systems on different parts of enemy ships if you want to. Also really interesting are the tech trees…though core techs remain in place, the rest of the tree is randomly built around them every time you start a new game. That means you can’t just blindly follow the same strategy every time. One more thing…you can spend extra money to ‘force’ harder research. This also risks an accident, though. Depending on what you’re researching, that can mean an explosion that wipes out an entire world, or maybe a Rogue AI that creates a race of Terminators that wipes another one’s populace out.

Majesty 2 50% off – $14.99

You start with a castle, and must fulfill scenario objectives to ‘take back’ different provinces for your King. How completely unoriginal, right? Well, yes…but there’s more. You can build up your town, with citizens automatically settling and building houses. Build guard towers to try to hold back the hordes of enemies. Then build guilds for Rangers, Mages, Thieves and the like. Hire heroes and send them on missions. The twist here is that you don’t actually directly control anyone, including the heroes. What you do are set bounty flags…to attack an enemy lair, defend an area, escort a caravan, or just explore a section of the map. Now attach a bounty to that flag and find the sweet spot where a few heroes are willing to do the job for a price that avoids bankrupting your treasury. My only complaint about the game is that the difficulty level is very uneven. There isn’t a gradual build up here so much as random peaks and valleys from mission to mission.

King Arthur – The Role Playing Wargame 33% off – $26.79

Breaking both my price rule AND minimum discount rule here. Too damn bad! This is the game that has been the basis of my Arthurian story…one that I will be getting back to as soon as my short story is done and sent off. Anyway, what else to say? You run your kingdom as you see fit, choose what paths to follow and recruit armies. Fight the tactical battles in real time. Use magic and special attacks if you can. Go on ‘choose your own adventure’ style text quests with one of your knights. It’s all in here.

As a post note, I would also like to note that Paradox Interactive has a number of EXCELLENT strategy games, but I am extremely hesitant to recommend them unless you have experience with strategy games. They aren’t loaded with micromanagement, but they don’t have the most welcoming interface (Attention, Paradox…it’s 2010! Hotkeys, maybe?), and the Tutorials tend towards the useless.

The next part hits RPG’s, Indie games, and perhaps gets in to Casual and Family stuff.

Another seasonal shift, another ridiculous Steam sale. Hundreds of games marked down, entire publisher catalogues marked down, and so many goddamn bargain hunters that the servers will occasionally cry “No mas!” and give up the ghost.

Perhaps you find such things intimidating. That’s why I’m here…let my ubergeekery and games addiction show you the way to some dirt cheap stuff for less money, and probably some stuff you might never have previously heard of.

Before we start, a brief explanation of how Steam works for those who might not know. You buy games through it, then the client software downloads and installs them, and also automatically updates them whenever updates are issued. You have to run anything bought on Steam through the Steam client. There can be issues getting a mods to work IF that mod uses a customized .exe file, since Steam already runs a customized .exe and the client might read the mod as a hack. The exceptions are when legit mod tools have been released by the developer…in that case, problems shouldn’t exist. And graphics mods, sound mods and stuff like that should also work fine.

Oh, and if you’re some twat hunting the Internets in search of Steam conversation to post how much it suxorz blah blah blah…fuck right off. Take your crazy elsewhere, thanks.

And a few ground rules for this. First, I’ll limit myself to a top end sale price of $25. So very few (if any) of those ‘Every goddamn thing a publisher has ever made!’ bundles will pop up here. Second, if something’s half off but still $24 or something…remember that it MIGHT pop up as a daily deal one of the days of this sale for a higher discount. And that leads me to one final thing to remember…EVERYONE is waiting to see if that happens. If the game they’re waiting for doesn’t get a one day mega-discount, they buy on the last day. So July 4th (the last day of the sale) will probably be total server armageddon. Oh, and going by the timer on today’s deals, the changeover seems to be happening around 11 AM Mountain Time.

For the purposes of this, I’m avoiding mention of daily deals and just talking about regular catalogue bargains that last for the entirety of the sale. I’ll link to every game’s page, and I’ll set the screenshots up so you can click em to biggify em. Oh, and I’m sticking to substantial markdowns. If it isn’t at least half off, IT ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH. A lot of the games I’m pointing out have demos that are installable via Steam as well.

Today’s post is the first part. I covered the Action and Adventure sections, and started on Strategy (since I’m a strat game freak, that will probably be the most heavily populated segment of this). Over the next few days I’ll cover the rest of strategy and everything else. The sale lasts through July 4th, so you have time. Some games are listed in multiple sections, so I’m going to pick the one that seems most relevant and mention it there.

Let the savings begin!

Action (180 in total on sale)

NecroVision 75% off – $3.24

You like cheezy horror movies? For less than $4, you can play one. I’ll be frank : the controls aren’t great, and you’ll run in to poor level design when you have to hop your way out of a map bug. But…come on, UNDEAD HUNS?! A German sorcerer in WW1 who is raising an evil army beneath the trench war happening above? UNDEAD HUNS?! From the moment that an apparition of a skull appeared out of nowhere and started babbling some poorly acted nonsense about legions of the damned, I was hooked. Hooked and laughing my ass off.

Beat Hazard 50% off – $4.99

I went in to detail about this epilepsy inducing shooter that bases the game play on your music here. For $1 more, add the ability to play AAC and M4A files in game. Game is a blast, but would probably kill someone with a propensity for seizures.

Bionic Commando : Rearmed 33% off- $6.69

Yeah, I said minimum 50% discount. Screw you and your rules! This one is worthy of an exception. Remember Bionic Commando? This is the remake (forget that shitshow 3D version that came out after. Even the developers admit that was a mess). It’s prettier and it sounds better. It can also be played co-op, has better AI, new bionic arm abilities, new guns and badass bosses. If you liked the original game, you need this.

Lead and Gold : Gangs of the Wild West 50% off – $7.49

A team based third person shooter set in the Wild West. There are 4 classes. The deputy (that’d be him in the forefront there) has a 10 round carbine and a 6 shooter. His special ability…he can ‘mark’ members of the opposing team so that his whole team knows where they are. The sniper (the one in the background) has a single shot rifle and a six shooter. She can set bear traps that will bring anyone to a halt if they step in one. There’s also a miner with a double barrel shotgun, a six shooter and throwable dynamite, and an outlaw with a 6 shooter that he can alternate fire at an insanely fast rate. Lots of different game types, and having different character types operating in close proximity means character bonuses (better accuracy, more damage, etc.) and faster healing.

Operation Flashpoint : Dragon Rising 66% off – $10.19

A fairly serious military simulation. US units enter a Russian island when the Chinese invade for oil blah de blah de fucking blah. Not NEARLY as in depth as Arma 2 (that’s probably a good thing), it also was a bit too ‘on rails’ for my tastes. Still a lot of options with it at this price. Unfortunately, because Codemasters kinda shat the bed when it came to decently optimized multiplayer or mod tools, this game is all but dead aside from the single player campaign.

BioShock 2 50% off – $14.99

I’m rather astounded at this price because the game came out earlier THIS YEAR. I haven’t played this one, but the price warranted mention. The first game was solid, and this apparently followed in the footsteps of the original, and added what seems like a weird and tacked on multiplayer deathmatch mode. Anyway, part of the reason this thing is dirt cheap already…DRM. This one goes just a little over the top. Steam (obviously)…AND an install of Games for Windows Live…AND a SecuROM check on your executable every time you run it…just a little bit over the top. 2K seems to have been unable to decide on one, so they went with ‘All of the above’.

Adventure (60 in Total on sale)

Time Gentlemen, Please!/Ben There, Dan That Pack 50% off – $2.49

I hate point and click adventure games…I tried Ben There, Dan That because it was free. I enjoyed it. Why? It was funny. Not many games actually make me laugh…at least not many that are supposed to be funny…so it grabs my attention when I find one. For the cost of a cup of coffee, I’m willing to pull the trigger on A LOT of games, and this bundle will quite probably be one of them.

Flotilla 50% off – $4.99

You’re dying. With 6 months to live, you set out on a last voyage through space. You might encounter a badger who decides to attack you, or try to negotiate your way past a fleet of battleships commanded by a penguin. Seriously. The tactical battles (such as the one above) pit your blue ships, whatever you might have in your fleet, against the enemy (red). It’s quite simple, actually…every turn, you give basic movement, firing and facing orders to all of your ships. The enemy does the same. Then they all resolve at the same time. Looks weird, sounds weird, but it’s a nice game. Also playable in about 15 minutes most times out.

Penumbra Black Plague : Gold Edition 50% off – $7.49

A first person puzzle/horror/action game. Welcome to Hell! Or…well, a place certainly filled with the damned and monstrosities, anyway. You aren’t armed with much, so spend a lot of time hiding and praying you don’t get seen…oh, don’t stare too long at the monsters, either. Doing so makes your character scared, and they’ll give their location away by pretty much shitting their pants. Some puzzles to solve, too. Interesting (and generally well done) mouse mechanics, where your mouse movements directly control whatever tool you’re holding at the time.

Silent Hill Homecoming 75% off – $9.99

You know you’re fucked when the town nurses are scarred beasts with knives with which they wish to disembowel you. I don’t know a lot about the Silent Hill series. Every game seems to revolve around some stupid fuck going to this town of the damned to find a missing relative. Then a bunch of weird looking demons try to kill them. I’ve been told they’re what the Resident Evil series purports to be…Action/Puzzle/Horror games that will occasionally make you jump from your seat and scream like a punk.

Machinarium 50% off – $9.99

This one is a side scrolling puzzle game. You’re a tiny robot, walking through level after level of really quite nice hand drawn graphics and animation (that picture above is how the game actually looks). Solve puzzles and figure out how to assemble various contraptions to get you on your way. Not a bad game, but my brain doesn’t work in that ‘puzzle game’ way. I can figure out how to manufacture a casus belli to let myself invade a neighbour and take his Center of Trade, but I am not wired to figure out what two items to put together and use to make a sluice door open. If you ARE wired that way, check it out.

Strategy (130 in Total on sale)

Introversion Complete Pack 87% off – $5.00

For that price, you get 4 games. Darwinia is all about leading your army of stick figures to victory. Multiwinia (pictured above) is the same game with more content and multiplayer. Uplink is some sort of a hacker puzzle game. DEFCON is a ‘nuke them before they nuke you’ game inspired by Wargames. Do you really need all that much information? It’s 4 games for $1.25 each, ya cheap bastard! And even Liam’s apparently decrepit graphics card could run these!

Birth of America 85% off – $1.50

I often struggle to come up with good starter grand strategy games to recommend to people. This one fits the bill. Set during the Revolutionary War period, it has a number of scenarios and long campaigns with you fighting for a new found country, or to suppress the rabble. Very little micromanagement, as most of the minutiae aren’t here to bother you. Really nice intro to strategy gaming, and all for THE PRICE OF A PACK OF GUM!

Order of War : Challenge 75% off – $2.49

I never made it past the demo of Order of War proper. It was a fairly run of the mill WW2 Real Time Strategy game (of which approximately 73,014 come out per year). Not bad, but not worth buying. This is something different. They took the engine of that game and produced a standalone multi-player game with it. Co-op matches, taking control points to earn air strikes and reinforcements, it sounds a LOT like a WW2 version of World in Conflict (which I thought was an absolute masterpiece of a game). I intend to try out the demo to this sucker, and quite possibly pick up the game.

King’s Bounty : The Legend 75% off – $3.24

This was one of those games I wasn’t expecting a whole lot from when I tried the demo. What it ended up being was basically my favourite game of 2008. Run around on an overland map, gathering up soldiers, going on quests, and fighting turn based tactical battles (as seen above). Power up your character as you go, and his weapons if you want…you do that by entering the weapons and defeating the army of monks and mages found within. Seriously. Russia done be fucked up with the ideas! I had a lot of fun with this one, and it doesn’t have nearly the same ridiculous difficulty ramp up that the follow up (Armored Princess) unfortunately possesses.

Star Wolves 75% off – $3.24

You command a small squad of space pilots (called, wait for it…THE STAR WOLVES). Going through a campaign of scenarios, you play it as a real time strategy game. You command every ship and what they do. Between missions, level up your pilots and unlock special abilities for the next fight. You also buy and sell equipment and ship upgrades. Really fun little game, complete with a weird Euro-centric techno soundtrack.

Space Rangers 2 : Reboot 75% off – $4.99

Weirdly, I can only find pics of the ground combat. I say that’s weird because it’s the worst part of this entire game! I don’t know how to even describe this game, because it’s a bit of everything. Think Wing Commander : Privateer, where you have a starting ship and gear and can do whatever the Hell you want to. Wanna run freight? Do it. Mine asteroids? Okay. Run a career as a space pirate? Have fun. Fight for the government? You can do that. And it’s all in a top down turn based game…aside from the real time ground battles…and the text adventure sections. Possibly my pick for most underrated game ever. Just writing this makes me want to play it again.

In the meantime, some more footage of the upcoming game Naughty Bear. It’s interesting that brutal acts of violence that would be disturbing if committed against human characters are HILARIOUS when done to teddy bears.

And this is rapidly becoming the greatest entertainment product ever made. First we saw ninjas, now zombies are in there? All we need now are some pirates and the Holy Trinity of Awesomeness is complete! Aliens and robots are nice touches, too. Also, gotta love the groin shot at the 1:10 mark…yikes.

1. Sony – Too much blathering about 3D tech, especially since consumers haven’t yet proven to be interested in making the required (and massive) investment. From how much it seemed like a tacked on afterthought, clearly even Sony thinks the PSP is a lost cause. And there was too much filler in an event that was almost 2 damn hours long.

On the other hand, Move looked terrific. A lot better detection than the Wii, and a better looking library than the Kinect. They trumped announcements of a new 360, Kinect and 3DS by showing off Move, announcing prices and release dates, and announcing several big system-Move bundles. The library of upcoming games look good. With system exclusives being rare now, getting as many PS3-exclusive extras…bonus games thrown in, exclusive DLC, exclusive day one content…as Sony has is a big deal.

2. EA – I can’t really fault EA for Epic’s infantile and embarrassingly juvenile Bulletstorm presentation. I CAN fault EA for Rod Humble’s rambling pointless blatherings about The Sims 3 and Peter Moore turning a Madden 11 features announcement in to a giggling fanboy interview with Joe Montana about what it’s like to play pro football.

Medal of Honor looked great. Dead Space 2 showed a level of polish beyond what the original game had. Crysis 2 looked amazing (not a shocker since Crytek are basically paid graphics whores). What could have been just another Need for Speed game actually looks like an interesting rebirth of the series under Burnout devs Criterion. The other part that impressed me about EA was the amount of game play footage they showed. Sure, The Old Republic still only exists in cinematic form, but almost every other game EA displayed showed actual game footage.

3. Microsoft – MS really blew it by not giving price and release information for Kinect, something that looked a lot worse when Sony DID give those numbers for the Move the next day.  And so much of the content displayed for Kinect was of the party game and fitness variety…there just wasn’t enough AAA stuff shown for a setup that will likely cost $150+.

MS did announce that through 2012, 360 owners will get first crack at all games, DLC and map packs from the Call of Duty family. Gears of War 3 looked good, and the addition of multiplayer should be nice…the Epic folks avoiding coming off like 13 year old giggling idiots using curse words when mommy and daddy are out of the house was a pleasant change, too. Halo : Reach really impressed me with the fact that it DID look like such a great step in the franchise. Metal Gear Solid : Rising is a terrific addition to the 360 lineup, and the death knell for PS3 exclusivity of the franchise.

4. Nintendo – Epic Mickey has the interest of this Mickey Mouse hater. The specs of the 3DS sound impressive. Donkey Kong Country Revisited looked decent, though it looked a lot like the N64 game from many moons ago. And of course the new Metroid title looks like it’ll be pretty good.

I really liked the look of the new Kirby game…I just don’t think it’s a ‘hardcore game’ as condescending jackass Reggie Fils-Aime pretends it is. Sure, Goldeneye was a great console shooter…WAS. A lot has changed since 1997, and nostalgia can be a bitch when the current findings don’t mesh up with the memories. Golden Sun : Dark Dawn? Sure, a few thousand JRPG freaks are thrilled, but nobody else gives a shit. Yes they announced the 3DS, then they showed only a Kid Icarus game for it. Is nothing else ready to show? How much will it cost? When does it come out? And the Zelda demo at the start was an unmitigated disaster. Even with the touted Wii Motion Plus and Miyamoto’s assurances that the Wii controls would be smooth and easy, very rarely did he get Link to actually do what he wanted him to. This looked even worse when compared to the demos of Move that Sony gave later in the day. And I’m sorry, but I’ve experienced too many moments when the Wii controls go squirrelly to completely buy their excuse that it was due to ‘Wi-fi interference in the theatre.’ And my last issue with their show (and maybe biggest)…where were the games? Nintendo showed actual game footage from maybe 5 games in their entire press event…why wasn’t there more to show?

5. Ubisoft – Honestly, this should be ranked behind the performances of the janitorial crews cleaning up after the other press events as well. From pacing to products, this was a mess.

And it started so well! Children of Eden was a really neat looking hybrid puzzle/music/shooter game that just looked amazing. It was the one Kinect game that really got my attention. Then they rolled in to the new Assassin’s Creed, something that was guaranteed to get a good reaction. In the first 15 minutes, Ubi looked to be bringing the thunder. Then it all went swirly.

Shaun White Snowboarding sold okay but not great, yet Ubi then creates a Skateboarding game for him with a bizarre ‘stick it to the man’ plot line. That’s followed by a ridiculous 10 minute exhibition of what looked like an extremely clunky laser tag set that had little, if anything, to do with actual video gaming. Just when everyone thought it couldn’t get worse we got Innergy and all the excitement one can find from watching a man do breathing exercises. The presentation for Your Shape : Fitness Evolved was a note for note recreation of the same bit from the Microsoft event…is there so little to show for this that they had to clone it? The only change was host Joel McHale mocking it…and when your host starts dropping smack on your own event, you know it’s gone to fuck. From then, we mixed good and bad with things like a new Ghost Recon and Raving Rabbids title mixed with a new side scrolling Rayman (was there really a call for this?) and a video for Project DUST that the company CEO built up (and which told so little about the game that I can’t even be sure of the genre it fits in to). Finally, they announce a Michael Jackson game, then show absolutely nothing of it while 6 dancers put on a horribly choreographed routine.

Absolute fucking train wreck.

Other Thoughts

-What is Ubisoft doing? Getting past their event, they’re sinking a lot of development money in to sequels to games that didn’t sell. Why are you making followups for HAWX and EndWar, adding a weird Shaun White game and a bizarre relaxation simulation…who is going to drop $50 to breathe deeply?…to your lineup? Blaster Tag? Are you fucking kidding me? Beyond Good & Evil was critically acclaimed, but it was no hit…the sequel has had 3-4 years of development budget…can it make that back? I Am Alive is another title stuck in long term development Hell and a real roll of the dice for sales. Couple all of this with the PC ‘always connected’ DRM system that everyone hates, and I find myself wondering when the entire executive branch of this company suffered a global head injury.

-Can company executives please stop pretending they’re big gamers? You work in boardrooms and sign deals…we get that, and that’s fine. When Reggie Fils-Aime pointed at himself while talking about hardcore gamers, I wanted to punch him in his smug face…more than usual!

-Civilization V looks fantastic. I was a bit concerned that maybe ‘streamlined’ meant ‘watered down’. It didn’t. The interface DOES look cleaner and better. The new combat and map system presents a lot of new tactical options. Beefed up diplomacy, new Social Bonuses, independent city states, puppet governments and a nice polish to the graphics engine make this look fantastic.

-While Firaxis happily talked up everything to do with Civ V, Creative Assembly said next to nothing about Shogun Total War 2, just showing off the graphics. We knew it would look pretty…show us how the game plays.

-It would be nice if Epic would grow the fuck up. One poll after another shows that the average gamer is in their 30’s with kids and a mortgage. Yet Epic’s stage presentations come off like they’re selling to 14 year old boys. Note to Epic…14 year old boys have no fucking money. Stop being infantile and drop this juvenile XTREME!! bullshit.

-Sony has really succeeded in bringing the idea of user content to consoles. Littlebigplanet and ModNation Racers have really been successful in fan level generation. LBP 2 is pushing for more, offering enough editing power than fans with interest and talent can make their own games using the LBP 2 engine. It’s nice seeing a solid mod community take shape in the console market, and I’d like to see the other systems jump on board.

-Can we make a rule? If the only thing you have to show of your game is a 20 second cinematic that says nothing at all, it can’t be in the show. And if you don’t even have that (I’m looking at you, Ubisoft) and still include it, just fuck yourself.

-No game moved itself up the ladder for me this year more than XCOM. I was ready to fucking hate this thing, basically for not being a strategy game. From what I’ve seen of it now I’m not only curious to see more, I’m actually anticipating it. Also really jumping up  was Homefront. The story is still a little silly, but the game looks like it might be a good one.

-On the other end of the spectrum, R.A.G.E. really disappointed me. When I had heard that id was doing a big, open world post-apocalyptic shooter, I was curious to see how they would make it stand away from Fallout 3 and Borderlands. Turns out they haven’t…at all. I already have both of those, so why would I buy this? Sure it looks better, but that’s not exactly an “Oh, I gotta buy it!” feature for most people. Yet, despite looking like a clone, IGN just handed this game their Game of the Show award. Of course, there are actually dudes out there who want to fuck Paris Hilton, so there’s no accounting for taste.

-I am honestly scared of what is going to happen if Warhammer 40,000 Dark Millenium is good. I’ve avoided the sweep of the MMO so far, but I don’t think that I’ll be able to resist that if they pull it off.

-Fully interactive environments seems to be the ‘Big Thing’ right now with a lot of games boasting the ability to use environmental objects as part of a fight, or giving the player the opportunity to climb almost anything for a new vantage point. And it’s about time. I’d rather see more of a push towards letting me climb on to a table (rather than hop impotently in front of it because it’s an inch too tall) than yet another push in the direction of graphics fidelity.

-How did Nintendo and Microsoft not have ANY price or release information for their most anticipated new technology? When Sony DID supply that information, they made both of them look even more stupid and unprepared.

And ya know what? That’ll do pig, that’ll do. Overall, I’ve enjoyed E3 and the associated excuse to write probably 33 million words about it.

Gran Turismo 5 – This has been in development so long that it was originally a PS2 game. It has apparently cost more than $80 million in development already. The GT series used to own the racing market, but it’s been a looooong time. Anyway, the fucking graphics are insane. Subtle things like dust particles in the air and slight reflective light effects on the front window from the setting sun. Lol…nice BP billboard. Is there an oil slick level where you just can’t get a grip on the road surface? Woah, the game is basically going to have a PS3 version of TrackIR, where your head movements are tracked, and moving it one way or another will move the view on screen. Absolutely no explanation of HOW that’s going to work, of course. And they have finally realized that those wacky people like that there multiplayer racing…astounding! They can learns!

XCOM – Yes, it’s XCOM…kinda. This is a first person shooter set in the 1950’s. Yeah, I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in.

Ready? If not, you’re a puss. You’re an FBI agent that’s part of an anti-alien task force…and you’re hunting the space variety, not Mexicans sneaking across the border to steal those oh so lucrative gardening jobs. You’ll be sent out to the locations of strange activity as calls regarding ‘strange occurrences’ are overheard as frantic housewives call up police departments. Fight aliens, but also know when to run (which you can do at any time). You also need to collect samples and data, which are taken back to the base (now explored in a first person viewpoint) to learn more about the off world menace. A variety of enemy types were spoken of, but only 2 were shown…a sort of monolith thing eating energy, and…sentient tar balls? Maybe this game got BP ad money, too…

It isn’t classic XCOM, but if the missions are as open ended as they claim and the research part is done well, it might work. I was actually prepared to HATE this game, but now I’m curious to see more.

Lionheart : King’s Crusade – Two reasons I’ve been looking forward to seeing more about this. 1. It’s published by Paradox Interactive. 2. It’s developed by NeoCore, the guys who made the King Arthur game I’m playing. This takes place during…hold on to your hat…the Crusades! Woah! You can play as the Crusaders or as the warriors of Saladin, fighting for control of the Holy Land and the entire Middle East. It’s a hybrid strategic/tactical game, much like King Arthur or the Total War series. In the strategic map you recruit and rebuild units, build up land under your control, and upgrade existing units as they load up on experience. Some of the additions are authentic, while others delve more towards the fantasy realm with things like horns that, when blown by a battle leader, can motivate an entire field army to run through Hell if their General commands it. The French, Templars, Holy Roman Empire and Papal Court are also in this area, and you can ally with them AND fight them (probably doing a lot of both) as well as fighting either the Crusaders or Saladin. Dozens or hundreds of units on large battlefields, all under your command in real time…sieges, ambushes, castle defences, field battles. The game looks good, but I’m not certain it does enough to really differentiate itself from the Total War series to be worthy of a purchase.

Homefront – This game’s premise is ridiculous. Imagine Red Dawn set in the near future. Now imagine the invader is North Korea. Um…yeah. North Korea doesn’t have the capability of invading a supermarket. Okay, it’s actually being explained now since the host of the show was mocking it. Korea unites in 2012, fuel prices force the US military to pull back from Asia, and Japan and SouthEast Asia are taken by threat of nuclear annihilation. Oh, and they use a satellite based EMP device to disable tech based US defence forces. That’s…it’s out there, but it makes more sense than “Good morning sweety, would you like some…HOLY SHIT! NORTH KOREAN PARATROOPERS!”

Anyway, they have taken San Fran and some of the West coast. You’re a civilian freedom fighter. Not only does this give you the chance to shout “WOLVERINES!’” on a frequent basis, it also means that you’re constantly out gunned and out manned (which I like). LOL…the dev player just blew away a couple of US Navy SEALs. Nice work, dumbass. Anyway, there are squads of freedom fighters, all of them with their own troops and gear and available equipment. It looks like you also spend a lot of time blending in with the non-militia civilian population, and that could make for an interesting game mechanic. I need to see more to know if it’s going to work or not.

NeverDead – How to describe this one. Okay, you’re the hero, some guy named Bryce who frequently gets smashed to pieces. Yet you never die…you have to wait until your various parts reform again, then you’re back to whupping ass. Apparently you’ve existed for quite some time, since the promo video has Bryce talking about being mistaken for Louis XVI. I really flat out don’t know what to make of this one…I love the rather obvious Bruce Campbell style main character, and it’s an interesting concept. On the other hand, how is this going to be challenging if you flat out can’t die? Why would the player give a damn about running in to every situation like a kamikaze if failure just means a 30 second wait for your limbs to re-attach themselves to your torso? I can’t believe I actually just typed that last sentence. I’m going to include a video just to illustrate how obvious the Bruce Campbell characterization is.

Guitar Hero : Warriors of Rock – This one is just weird. Basically, you’re now playing music to rescue the metal from the clutches of evil…except metal is supposed to be evil, so maybe you’re slapping angels off of double necked guitars or something. Anyway, I guess Activision decided that since they couldn’t sue to have Brutal Legend left unreleased they’d just rip that game off. So they’ve slapped on a new premise, but the game looks EXACTLY…THE…SAME. This is my big problem with this series…while Rock Band seems to keep adding things to the game to shake it up, Guitar Hero does nothing. While Rock Band adds a constant flow of new songs available to buy online, Guitar Hero just releases yet another game. This is will be the FOURTEENTH Guitar Hero game to come out when it releases! It’s done, it’s played out, bury it in the ground and come up with something new (ELECTRIC DRUM HERO!).

Rock Band 3 – Seemed an appropriate place to put this one. First off, keyboards. Not just a keyboard, but one that can be wielded as…A KEYTAR! Yes indeed, you too can sling a keytar like a true early 80’s badass with a perm. Beyond that, the drums actually have cymbals now. The guitars have strings. They’ve also added a Pro mode where things like chord progressions come in to play. If you can actually read music, you’ll be able to play the next section simply be looking at the chord names as they pop up. Did I mention KEYTAR?! Oh and as usual, they have the good sense to let you import any and all tracks you’ve picked up for the earlier games in to this one. Players can drop out and join in to the game at any time at all without having to restart or anything, too. While the whole music game category is getting a bit boring, these guys at least seem to get it.

EA Sports MMA – As an MMA freak, I’m curious to see how this compares to the UFC games THQ has been putting out. The whole striking system is analog, with the triggers used to change whether you’re throwing punches or kicks, body or head shots, and the right stick throwing the strike. The grappling system is based on face buttons…this led to some obvious problems in the demo I saw. The ground fighting part of the game is obviously a bit of a mess, with the need to drive back and forth between face buttons and the sticks. I’m most curious about the online tournament system with hype videos and fights broadcast on the server system and the like, but there were no real bits of info on that. It looks okay, but the need to keep switching from stick to button to stick to button is either going to snap fingers or minds.

HAWX 2 – Yes, the game that nobody played is getting a sequel that nobody will play. Did Ubisoft have their collective brains consumed by zombies at some point? It would explain their E3 performance thus far. They keep sinking serious development dollars in to games that didn’t sell the first time around, then complain about shitty sales for games nobody wants. As for the game, it’s pretty and it does seem well made, I just don’t really see where the sales are coming from.

True Crime : Hong Kong – First True Crime game in awhile. Frankly, the previous ones weren’t anything all that stellar, but this one is big. The entire island of Hong Kong is open and they’ve tried to sort of ‘John Woo’ this motherfucker up. Not only is it a complete open world game, the combat is also open world. So in other words, everything in the environment can be used. Throw a guy head first in to a jukebox, drown him in a fish tank or throw him out in to traffic. Lots of little minigames including everything from surveillance to safe cracking to karaoke. All of the ingredients are there for a good game, but we’ll have to see how it comes together.

R.A.G.E. – Hey everyone, id Software still exists! Oh wonderful…so far, the id guy is just showing off the game engine. “Hey, look at them purty hills!” Yes, it looks amazing…is it a game or a fucking tech demo? Hey, it’s a game! Okay then. A post apocalyptic future…you came out of one of many ‘arks’ that were underground shelters as the asteroid smashed in to Earth. So, we’re completely ripping off Fallout and Borderlands here. The world looks big, and it’s open to run around in as well as doing missions. They’re calling the game play ‘open but directed’…so you can do missions and run around to do extra things. How is that anything different from every other big RPG/shooter? I don’t know. I like the fact that the environment comes in to play…guy standing in water? Hit that water with an electrical bolt. The game is beautiful, and the sound is also great. It does look fun, but it also doesn’t really seem like anything massively unique at the moment.

That does it for me with games. I’m going to do one more post tonight or tomorrow where I’ll kind of rank the ‘Big 5’ press events (Sony, Nintendo, Ubisoft, EA & Microsoft) and get in to some of the positives they had since my initial write-ups were quite scathing. I’ll probably also add a few more notes, and that will be that…you’ll be free of the E3 yoke that I’ve hooked all y’all motherfuckers to.