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The Horton Responds!

September 1, 2011 8 comments

Well, not the actual Tim Horton. He has been dead for quite some time, after all.

But yes, after my screed against the abominable lie that is their ridiculous ‘Always Fresh’ campaign, I wrote them an email. I asked simply why they advertised as Always Fresh when that simply wasn’t the case. I expected no response.

I got one :

Dear Mr. Cliff Riseborough,

I like how my name sounds when treated so formally. Y’all best recognize, bitches!

Thank you very much for taking the time to send us your concerns and comments regarding the quality of our products at the restaurant you frequent.  We appreciate this opportunity to respond.

Thus far, I feel like I’m receiving an email from a voice mail bot. Perhaps the takeover by the Terminators has started with donut chains.

At Tim Hortons, we take great pride in the high quality of our products, fast efficient service and cleanliness in our restaurants, consequently, we become concerned when we are advised of poor product quality at any of our locations.

Or…you know…at all of your locations…

The product quality that you describe in your email is not characteristic of the standards of freshness that we have set for our restaurants and we would like the opportunity to investigate (baking) procedures at the locations that you frequent.  At your earliest convenience, please provide us with the specific locations so that our District Manager can review this matter at the restaurant level.

Make note of the certain bits in there that I’ve focused on. None of your employees outside your Brantford production facility bakes anything. That’s kind of been my point. And since when does something that’s been flash frozen get to be referred to as FRESH? How can you have a standard of freshness when you’re defrosting everything? You don’t have bakers on staff, you have Masters of Thawing.

Our chain has always tried to provide our guests with the very best in quality products and service, and hopefully our record over the past 40 years vouches for our commitment to this end.

Oh, that used to be the case. But you’ve gone from actually baking stuff to just running everything through warmers to try to work the ice out. This attempt to apparently pretend that nothing has changed in 40 years is just silly.

Thank you again for sharing your comments with us.

Sincerely,

The TDL Group Corp.

What in the fuck is the TDL Group Corp.? Research time! Looks like the different named corporate overlords for Tim Hortons. I’m disappointed. I wanted a vast conspiracy, dammit!

I am sorely tempted to respond by asking why exactly this person is flat out lying. But, as satisfying as that really would be, it would end the dialogue. And I’m curious to see where this rabbit hole takes us. So the reply will be polite. And no, I won’t share it. I hate anyone seeing how I talk when in ‘corporate douche’ mode.

Other Blog Challenge Participants

Liam – http://www.bisonweb.ca/blog/
Chad – http://grindingpixels.blogspot.com/
Tammy – http://tam–i–am.blogspot.com/
Vlad – http://www.analogcoast.com/
Kim – http://www.mynaturebaby.ca/blog/
Shaun – http://expeditionoftruths.com/
Peter – http://crazywookiecookies.blogspot.com/
Earl – http://earljwoods.blogspot.com/
Zita – http://ignitestrategicsolutions.com/
Brad – http://kickmeoutsoon.blogspot.com/
Natasha – http://blog.naturalurbanmamas.com/

Posted in General Type Things
  • michelou

    But, but, but, Cliff! They’re not actually “lying” per se, since they actually only PAR bake the items, so the individual stores really do do some baking… since the items only come half-baked (not funny like you are, insert your own wittisim here. lol),  hense they can say “baked fresh”!  But, interestingly, I’ve read of some previous franchise owners actually suing the parent company for just this as their quality has dropped and they lost customers. Sorry, I don’t have a link at the moment, but I can hunt one out if you’d like… lol

  • http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff

    Yep, I’ve read about that as well. I don’t know if they have a hope in Hell, since it would probably be rather difficult to prove what triggered a profit loss.

  • michelou

    OK, well, I also have “proof” for you that skynet is going to be a moronic entity. http://io9.com/5835508/scientists-force-two-chatbots-have-a-conversation-prove-that-skynet-will-be-a-moron  I have to say that if the terminator’s have really taken over Timmy’s they’re being very polite and conservative. But I guess that does fit the “Canadian” image, eh?

  • Tammy

    While I agree that their baked goods are less awesome than they used to be, I don’t have a problem ultimately with them “fresh baking” the par prepared items.  I think their model changed when Wendy’s took them over.  With the volumes that they sell and the need to have consistency at a franchise, it doesn’t surprise me.  In their FAQ they talk about Franchisees having the choice to bake once a day or multiple times.  I am sure if you get a batch right out of the oven it can be pretty yummy.  So for me if they are baking them at all, I can accept the fresh baked. 

    Having said that if I truly want something home made and fresh baked I won’t go to a large franchise.  I know you called it insipid grule but I think their coffee and goodies are pretty good especially for the price.  

    What I do have issues with is the stupid giant box you get with the donuts now when you order a dozen.  I understand that maybe they used to get kind of squished and touched each other, but the handle box was much better to pick up for meetings.

  • http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff

    Okay, here’s my basic problem with this (which I get in to in tomorrow’s follow up post responding to their latest email) : Would you call frozen fish fillets that need to be ‘finished’ in the oven or a pan fresh fish? Probably not. And yet frozen baked goods that need to be ‘finished’ in an oven apparently ARE fresh? That doesn’t make any sense. They’re completely mis-using the word fresh by passing off pre-fab bullshit as fresh food. It isn’t. And they did used to supply extremely high volumes in the past when they actually were baking fresh, so that doesn’t really work for me as a reason for needing to change.

    And yes, their coffee sucks. So does the coffee at Denny’s, but you don’t see Canadians running off in droves to get themselves some coffee at Denny’s on a daily basis like it’s some haven for fine java. Honestly, skip the stupid line ups and get a cup to go at a 7-11. It’s probably better.

    Here’s something I’ve noticed. Someone will go get a couple dozen donuts from Tim Horton’s and bring them to work. And they slowly get eaten, but many still linger at the end of the day. The next day, someone else goes and gets two dozen donuts from Sobey’s. They’re gone within half an hour. We actually do prefer something that really has been fresh baked for real, but we’ve built up Timmy’s as some ridiculous paragon of Canadiana. It truly is a prime example of hype over substance.

  • http://twitter.com/hadaad hadaad

    I like the joe Dennys throws in my mouth. 

  • Tammy

    Actually I agree with you on that point.  I do scoff when I see the “fresh fish” stands at the side of the road in Alberta, so using that logic very true.  I used to always get the chocolate glazed donuts and you could kind of close your mouth and they would melt, its not like that anymore for sure.  To be truthful, when I go to Timmy’s anytime now, I am more likely to have a bagel with cream cheese or their sandwich and soup combo. 

  • http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff

    …so many possible mocking responses…over loading…passing out…