I don’t care where you went to buy gas

I’m a narcissist.

I use Twitter. I have a blog. I clearly like talking about myself and smashing others. Goddammit, I am rather fond of me.

Now, it’s not ALL about me…I will actually decide to step down from my self-constructed ivory tower and read what other people are doing. Maybe I don’t do it enough, but it’s a nice tower! I put some serious time in to that shit. You think Italian marble is cheap or quick to get etched with imagery of stuff exploding? It isn’t! That took MONTHS! And those were just accent pieces for the actual tower that A LOT of tusked/horned African mammals died for.

How often would YOU step away from that? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

What was I talking about again? Oh, right, other people…

Anyway, I’m happy to read about what all of you out there are up to (if I know who you are and stuff…otherwise, stop wasting my time)…TO A POINT.

And that point is…

…your fucking incessant Foursquare updates

I do not give a flying fuck where you went to buy ice cream. Why the fuck would ANYONE care where the fuck you went to buy ice cream? It’s a widely available product…it isn’t like you’ve found the one place in the region who have the market cornered! There isn’t a prohibition against ice cream, where the only way to gain access is to use a series of secret knocks on a particular wall in what appears to be a normal pet store, only to have a hidden door open to allow you access to Uncle Milty’s Frozen Confection Speakeasy. And if it was, you would just have given it away and the cops would soon be busting in, arresting Milty and smashing up crates of ice cream with hammers, and all because of you. Asshole.

Nobody needs to know where you just filled up your car, bought your groceries, or which chain restaurant you chose to sit down and consume a burger in. Nobody wants to read the every day drudgery that is your life…we have our own every day drudgery, thanks. All full up on the mundane day to day grind. I don’t need more. I don’t want more. Nobody does.

How full of yourself do you have to be to sign up for something like this? Seriously, what sort of brainwave drives someone to decide that “Yeah, people that I know want…nay, they NEED…to know where I go to get my dry cleaning done!” There is absolutely nothing else gained from this nonsense, so it has to be a self obsession to the point of desperately needing to share with the world the mystical locale you’ve found that…SHOCK…SELLS SLURPEES!

It might be different if there was any sort of actual context offered, if it was something you felt strongly enough about, or was unique enough, that you actually wanted to write something up about it. Cool! Great! THAT I’ll read! But when it’s just an inundation of ‘So and so stepped in to the Gas n’ Go at such and such a place’, WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYBODY CARE?! It’s obnoxious! I have better things to do…EVERYONE has better things to do!

Think of it this way : Imagine you knew somebody who called you or IM’d you or whatever every single time he or she went somewhere and did something. How long would it take before you were plotting out their murder in minute detail? New flash McGenius, this is THE SAME FUCKING THING.

So it’s simple : If you are going to inundate me with this nonsense every time you step outside the door, you’re gone. Done. I don’t fucking care.

And thus the Twitter wars did begin…

Kelly

Probably a good thing i’m not on twitter and don’ t bother you at all with any sort of updates )
http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff

Oh, I’m all good with updates…with any meaning or purpose behind them
whatsoever.
Chad Weitzel

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/4/23/

I’m too lazy to figure out how to turn that in to a real link.
http://www.about.me/shaunguthrie Shaun

I tend to agree and after looking at Foursquare I really don’t see the point. I wanted to give it a go and I have one more day of the week I was going to give it to see how it measured up. Really it does nothing that I cannot do if I wanted to with Twitter or Facebook. The only thing you get out of it is these magical points which mean absolutely nothing. You also get to be “mayor” of certain places because of how many times you check in.

Actually thinking on that whole “Mayor” thing, it’s actually pretty clever. How so? Well if you get ousted as the “Mayor” you’ll probably feel inclined (with competitive spirit) to go back to that establishment and try and overtake. In turn the establishment which a lot of the times is a restaurant or coffee shop or whatever gets money from your business. Thanks Foursquare for making my business money says the store owner.

Aside from that Foursquare really doesn’t do much… so on Sunday I will be closing my account because it’s just one more thing I’d have to update which in reality doesn’t do anything for me.
http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff

I could see the point if frequenting a place actually resulted in something
tangible…as a Twitter games prize whore I am totally down with using
social media to win things. But there isn’t anything, so it just exists to
annoy. Really, anyone using it is turning their Twitter stream in to an ad
cycle. Do most people watch the ads on TV? No, they skip them or they use ad
breaks as a chance to leave the room and do something else. Foursquare
garbage is just as annoying, but it doesn’t even serve the role of helping a
TV network pay the bills…it’s just there.