And I feel like I’m drowning in safety. Ironic, I know…but true!
I realize safety is becoming a bigger and bigger issue in the workplace, so I wasn’t at all surprised to find out there was a safety program to do. And that’s what I did…pretty much for an entire 8 hour day. That put a dent in it. How much is left? Take a 3 inch binder, now fill it with so much paper that the cover sits straight across and doesn’t 
close at all. I’m done about 15-20% of that.
Sweet merciful fuck.
The good news is that everyone seems cool so far. I’m playing my usual trick : Lay low for the first little while, then down the road I can ambush them with scathing retorts when they’ve convinced themselves I won’t pull the trigger. It earns you a good couple weeks of being able to mock people relentlessly simply because you catch them off guard.
The Good News : I now actually have my WHMIS ticket. Perhaps never again will I have to watch those god awful WHMIS videos! Being able to give it the ol’ Mystery Science
Theatre treatment did brighten the experience, though.
On Thursday, I go up to AR Williams to finally get my actual forklift certification. So that’s cool. At some point soon I get sent for First Aid/CPR. Field trips to get stuff I want, and I get paid? Yes please!
Oh, and I’m already on the company’s benefits package. That’s right, no 3 months waiting period : it’s done. I’ll get my prescription card later this week, as well as another one that gives me International health coverage (or domestic coverage so long as I’m 500 km. away from home). This is basically unprecedented in my personal history…Hell, I can’t remember the last time I heard about an employer not bothering with a 3 month-6 month probationary period when it comes to benefits. Couple that with a starting wage for a warehouse/shipper/receiver job that exceeds what some places offered for warehouse management positions…yeah. Pretty sweet.
The Bad News : Ah, workplace coffee…I didn’t fucking miss you. Cups of brackish horror made from the economy can of Nabob or Maxwell House or some other fancy approximation for the word ‘shit’, mixed with white sugar (I’ve become a fan of raw sugar, personally) and Coffee Mate powder. No, not even Coffee Mate…this is Great Value Coffee Whitener. It may in fact be chalk. It’s like drinking down a steaming cup of my own death. It hates me and the feeling is mutual.
The only other bad thing : I have to make my way through the remaining mass of paper left in that safety binder. The only light at the end of that tunnel is that I was told there is a sexual harassment video that is the equal of the WHMIS one. That could potentially equal the best thing ever. It better, otherwise I will slit my wrists with Chapter 836 and bleed out on the floor.
