So YET AGAIN, it appears that this collection of clowns can’t figure out how to make this confusing little ‘minority government’ concept work. Oh, they scratched their brows ferociously enough to actually remove skin from their cro magnon foreheads, but it was all for nought. And like the unstoppable killing machine rising yet again for the latest lukewarm sequel in a horror movie franchise that has lived well past it’s due date, we are likely facing another election.

Oh boy.

There are so many things that I can think of that I’d rather occupy my time with than another boring ass federal election for the same collection of tired politicians who don’t seem to get it. I could clean my bathroom again. Maybe I could shovel all of the snow off of the front lawn by hand…you know, for kicks.

It’s boring. We’ve rejected all of you for a majority government before. Why will this time result in anything different? Seriously, name me a single important thing that any party leader has said or done since the last election in 2008. Just one.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

We still don’t like any of you. You’re collectively the kind of people that we would all enjoy seeing bullied, regardless of how compassionate we normally might be. Jack Layton, you’re an obnoxious, self absorbed, whiny shit. You are the kind of man that every parent should point their young boy towards and say “If you grow up to be like that, mommy and daddy don’t love you anymore.” Michael Ignatieff, you’ve been back for years and I still don’t have the slightest clue where you stand on pretty much anything, mainly because you keep changing your mind every 3 seconds. I’m all for politicians changing their beliefs as they take in new information, but your brain’s opinion center needs a massive dose of Ritalin. Gilles Duceppe…well, you don’t even factor in to it because you’re an annoying one trick pony with your hand out, promising political favours to whoever will put the most bills in your palm. Enjoy whoredom. And then we have the Green Party. I’m sorry, but if the most qualified person you can come up with to be your Deputy Leader is GEORGES LARAQUE, it doesn’t exactly speak highly of the quality of persons within your organization. “Hey, his hockey career fizzled because he didn’t care enough to play hard…let’s put him in office!” And then we have the Conservatives. Shockingly, I have a hard time believing that a party in power sincerely wanted the status quo to remain when that party started running election ads SIX FUCKING MONTHS AGO.

So we enter this cycle of stupidity again. And it probably results again in another minority government, because I don’t really think Canada wants any of these people with full control. And they’ll promise yet again that they’ll make it work this time. And they’ll waste another 2 years bickering and doing nothing, and then we’ll have another election. I’m beginning to believe that the only way to enact any real change in Ottawa involves chaining the doors of the House of Commons while parliament is in session and starting a really big fire. Maybe we’ll all get really lucky and the next time John Baird starts yelling, it will rip a hole in the fabric of existence and every MP will be sucked in to a gigantic vortex. Maybe.