I love food. I love cooking it. I love eating it. I used to think that nothing bad could ever come from it, you know aside from all that obesity and heart disease and stuff…yeah.
Anyway, I have been made to realize that food can be pure liquid evil. In the hands of madmen with stomachs of iron and apparently indestructible circulatory systems, it can become something so wrong that while I’m horrified by it I also CAN’T STOP WATCHING.
I present to you…EpicMealTime. Or you can go right to their Youtube channel.
However, you need to heed my warnings. These guys are cooking…’things’…that regularly top 75,000 calories. They use bacon as everything from a base to a garnish to a sauce. Jack Daniels appears frequently by the bottle. So much meat your heart will start screaming as you watch. There’s the Slaughterhouse Christmas Special. It’s like a Gingerbread House, only they replaced the Gingerbread with meat…steaks to be exact. Ground pork is the glue for the steak bricks. Their eggnog contains equal parts nog, Jack Daniels and bacon fat. Ham doors and windows. Puff pastry and bacon roof. What looks like 7,000 litres of Cheez Whiz inside. Then they eat it. With their hands.
I can’t stop watching this shit. And now I infect you with the same disease. You’ve been warned.
Say Hello to the Breakfast of Booze. Ham wrapped in bacon dipped in beer batter and deep fried. Cream cheese and sausage wrapped in a pancake then beer battered and deep fried. Bacon Bailey’s whipped cream.
So help me, the bacon cream cheese stuffed french toast dumplings actually look good! I have lost all connection to what is considered normal for food!
