So, I’ve been talking a bit about positive, cool looking game stuff recently. And today, Ubisoft has helpfully offered an opportunity for a little bit of balance.
We Dare is a game for the Wii. Having watched this promo, I have absolutely no fucking idea who the presumed market is for this thing. Is there a sizable chunk of the Wii market who also happen to be perverts who have hot friends?
As you watch this, imagine being anywhere where someone breaks this out as a fun party game…
Here is how I imagine a realistic scenario would play out :
Home owner : So, I got this new game the four of us could try…
Male guest : Dude, why are you lighting candles?
Female guest : More wine? Really? Are you trying to get me drunk? Haha
Home owner’s wife : Oh, HAHAHA! No, just trying to…loosen things up a bit. So, I’ll go first. I’ve got a Wii-mote down my skirt, who wants to spank me?
Guests : I KNEW it! They’re goddamn swingers!
The truly fucked up part of this is that this is the system Nintendo keeps pushing as being great for kids and grandparents. So just imagine that video, only it features a pair of 11 year old children, their grandmother and some other poor bastard lured in to what they thought would be a delightful party game. Instead, the players of legal age have likely committed an indictable offense. So it isn’t a family product.
Seriously, is this some bizarre thing designed to get you fucking your friends? Look, I like my friends…if I didn’t, I wouldn’t come to their homes, eat their snacks, drink their beer and laugh at their jokes. But I have absolutely no interest in making out with their Wii-motes, spanking them or taking off my clothing around them. Period. And I’m pretty sure that feeling is mutually shared by the entire group. So this isn’t for friends.
Maybe it’s to make already awkward first dates even more uncomfortable. However, I can’t imagine two dudes being stupid enough to think that asking some woman they barely know to put vibrating objects in their clothing is a great way to make a favourable impression. It’s a path to restraining orders, but probably not a second date.
Unless you are trying to sell some sort of cooking game, nothing with the tagline of ‘Have a Spicy Evening!’ is likely to sell enough to even make back the expense of developing it in the first place.
Currently, this mess is only available in Europe. Not too surprising, considering the perversities of German porn. And anything that the French are a part of would of course have shit like this available.
