Donna Simpson has a goal.

Good for her, right? After all, goals and such must be something good…something to strive for gives the life purpose!

Maybe, but Donna Simpson’s goal is to weigh 1,000 pounds. Yes, her goal in life is to be the fattest woman in the history of man.

Um…what? What the fuck? This has got to be a goddamn joke, right? Wrong. She is completely serious.

Anyway, this monstrosity popped up in the news again after Christmas, as her meal and her ‘goal’ became the focus of attention for  The Daily Telegraph.

Donna Simpson, who weights 292kg, sat in a reinforced metal chair, chowed down on the world’s biggest Christmas dinner as she ate for two straight hours.

The single mother-of-two, from New Jersey in the US, tucked into two 11kg (25lb) turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 6.8kg (15lbs) of potatoes – 4.5kg (10lbs) roast, 2.3kg (5lbs) mashed, five loaves of bread, 2.3kg of herb stuffing, three litres of gravy, three litres of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 9kg (20lbs) of vegetables.

After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a "salad" made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.

Yes, go vomit now. I’ll wait.

Now, why would ANYONE think this was a good idea? Well, if you read the rest of those articles, you’ll find out that mommy stuffed her and the rest of the brood full of food to the point she weighed more than 80 kg by the age of NINE and taught her that things like that are the epitome of normality. Oh, and hubbie is a fatty fucker. So, yeah…wonderful.

What bothers me about this entire fucking mess is that this beast has a son and daughter.

She got the Guinness World Record as the world’s fattest mother, when she gave birth in 2007 weighing 241kg (38 stone).

She needed a team of 30 medics to deliver her daughter Jacqueline during a high-risk Caesarean birth.

She has to audacity to claim that there’s nothing unhealthy about being fat. Um, I think that’s countered by the fact that it took a birth pit crew (and probably some sort of hydraulic lifting device) to deliver your fucking kid! That isn’t normal! That isn’t healthy! If you require the services of an entire ward to deliver a child, something is very, very wrong! Or gee, maybe this line should get her re-thinking her unbelievably stupid as shit little worldview :

Yet although she can only move seven metres before needing to sit down, she wants to be even bigger.

"I’d love to be 1000lb," she said.

"It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my weight down."

You can’t move more than 7 metres without needing a rest, and yet your only concern about this is that your damn kid making you get off your moon sized ass will make you lose weight. That BITCH! How DARE she!

The self obsession of this woman is appalling. You have 2 kids who would probably like mom to be around for awhile, but you can’t see past your planetoid gut and some pathetic, fucked up need for fame. No no, let’s become the fattest woman ever. Surely that wonderful trophy will adequately replace you in the lives of your children in the future after you do the world a damn favour and get on to having that fatal heart attack. You sit down and bring on your own death that much sooner while also consuming enough food to feed how many people…a dozen? Two dozen? Three? You entitled cunt. No no, we won’t perhaps seek some help to undo the damage mom did to you with her bizarre way of sharing love through packing you full of chow until you’re ready to explode, we’ll just succumb and pretend it’s awesome. Fuck you. You even KNOW that what you’re doing is messed up, even though you pretend it’s all good :

Simpson’s two children, Devin, 14, and Jacqueline, three, enjoyed a more modest feast.

You wouldn’t make sure the kids don’t follow in your enormous (and rarely seen) footsteps if it was all good to do, would you? I suppose we should thank you for deciding to be gracious enough not to completely destroy the relationship your children have with food. Nope, you’re willing to just stop at having their memories of mom be a colossal mess they’ll no doubt need some sort of counselling to deal with. Bravo. Bully for you, mom of the fucking year.

Oh, but there are more than just you, your hag of a mother and your jackass of a husband to despise in this disaster.

Perhaps people might wonder why someone would go to this extent? Sure, there are the obvious childhood issues, but there’s a lot more to it in this case :

She makes a living from being fat, getting paid to make public appearances and keeping a website where people can pay to watch her eat.

Who exactly would pay for that?

To fund the massive $750 weekly food shop, she runs a website where men pay her to watch her eat fast food.

Here’s to sincerely hoping every single person involved in this dies a little inside on a daily basis. Seriously, live long and empty lives full of nothing beyond personal loathing. What a disgusting legion of shit.

Oh, but there’s more to hate here! Yes indeed! Let’s look at the picture from the Christmas article :

Well, I’m pretty sure that Donna is the one doing a striking Jabba the Hutt impression in the middle. So who are the other two?

Wants to be fattest woman in the world … Donna Simpson with TV hosts Jane Hanson (left) and Sara Gore ate a Chrisdtmas meal with a whopping 30,000 calories.

And yes, that misspelling of Christmas is from the original page. Probably in too much of a rush to get this disaster up to bother with any editing.

Yes indeed, a couple of those typically fake, airy news idiots. And you KNOW that they sold this whole story as “The disturbing tale of a woman trying to eat her way to a world record” with a bunch of false sincerity about her well being. Meanwhile, the network threw up bumpers to “Stay tuned to see the freak show!” with visions of cheap viewer hits dancing in their heads. I would wish some sort of mental disorder upon these subhuman shits, but I suspect any sort of brain ailment would go completely un-noticed in their case. Besides, it probably worked. Oh, people couldn’t be bothered to tune in and actually learns them some stuff, but a story about a morbidly obese idiot? Fuck yeah!

Honestly, this is one of those stories that just sort of generally sickens and disgusts me. Could there be a greater example of what is wrong with the Western world? Some fucked up tub of nonsense tries to eat her way to fame, AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS. THIS is what we want…we want the fucking freak show. Screw anything that actually matters, we want shit like this…and then we have the ridiculous gall to ask stupid questions like “Why do they hate us?” of the third world. The fact that something like this doesn’t draw the scorn of people in general is a testament to just what a mess our excuse for a culture really is.

Honestly, fuck all of us. Good grief.