Got the Thursday nighter right, now here are the rest :

Buffalo over Cleveland – Hey, a game in which the Bills are playing someone so crappy that they’re actually the favourite! Of course, that likely means they’ll screw it up and lose by over 100 points as Peyton “The White Rhino” Hillis pounds out 721 yards and 16 touchdowns. This game couldn’t be less interesting if it was a Golden Girls marathon, though it should be blessedly free of old lady sex stories.

Atlanta over Carolina – The Falcons have become the top dog of the NFC class. The Panthers are that weird kid in the back of the room who puts his finger in his ass and tries to get others to smell it.

Tampa Bay over Washington – This might actually be a close game if the Redskins locker room wasn’t as unstable as some Caribbean junta whose military has just been bombed out of existence. Replacing all 11 starters on their defense with sacks of corn might actually improve their work against the run. Calling them a train wreck is an affront to Amtrak. Tampa should pound these fools.

Green Bay over Detroit – The Lions are quarterbacked by Drew Stanton. The Packers are quarterbacked by Aaron Rodgers. One is a 3rd string guy you sort of forgot was still around, the other is an MVP candidate. Oh, and Green Bay can actually cover people.

New York Giants over Minnesota – I want Old Man Brett to play, because the Giants will mash him in to a lovely Puree of Has Been. Or he and Eli Manning can have an interceptions contest…that would be a much bigger nail biter than this game will be.

Pittsburgh over Cincinnati – In the preseason, I would have assumed this might be a pretty big game. Instead, the Bengals have shat the bed en route to a pathetic 2-10 record. The Steelers will blitz a shaky Carson Palmer, and Cincinnati hasn’t run the ball well all season. On the flip side, the Bengals defense should give up enormous numbers to the Steelers rushing attack.

Jacksonville over Oakland – The Raiders struggle at stopping the run, and that’s the core of the Jags offense. The Raiders are good at running the ball, but Jacksonville can actually stop that. Unless Jason Campbell finds another handful of those magic pills that briefly convinced him that he was Steve Young earlier this season, the Raiders are in trouble.

New Orleans over St. Louis – Oh look, an already inconsistent Rams pass defense is missing its best cornerback while going up against a team that throws as much as possible. Yeah, this probably isn’t going to be pretty.

San Francisco over Seattle – The truth is, I have no confidence picking either of these train wrecks to win this deplorable game (that we’ll be subjected to locally, being trapped in the den of turmoil and loathing called ‘The Seahawks Broadcast Zone’). So I went with who I want to win. And I always want the team playing Seattle to win.

Chicago over New England – Tough, tough game to call. Tom Brady is tearing teams open with the ease most people have tearing open an envelope, and I’m still not totally buying that the Bears defense can play with a good offense. On the other hand, the Patriots actually possess the worst defense in the NFL for yards allowed, which is such a strange thing to type that part of my brain is still telling me how wrong it must be. And with the egotistical offensive coordinator and arrogant twat of a quarterback seemingly doing okay for themselves right now, I think Da Bears might pull this out.

Denver over Arizona – Never has less interest been seen in something than the last time some Hollywood studio put out a film starring Dane Cook. The difference here…Kyle Orton has been throwing well for Denver. Arizona’s quarterback is some undrafted guy named John Skelton.

San Diego over Kansas City – The Chargers lost last week to make this a must win game so that it will be dramatic when they do win. I’m starting to believe that they do this for fun. Anyway, the Chiefs lost their quarterback to an emergency appendectomy this week, and I am not so much a Brodie Croyle fan. Dude has a name meant for a C-grade Country singer touring state fairs in Nebraska.

New York Jets over Miami – The Jets tend to get pissed off after losses, and they’re coming off more of a brutal beating than a mere loss. The Miami Dolphins are probably going to get smashed in the mouth a lot this week. Hard. And possibly raped during the game. Rex Ryan will provide snacks.

Philadelphia over Dallas – The Cowboys defense has completely vanished, and Jerry Jones is worried enough that his gruesomely stretched ‘natural looking’ face-lifted visage almost moved last week. The odds of Michael Vick not shredding these guys are about as good as the chance that Michael Bay will direct a serious costume drama period piece.

Baltimore over Houston – Arian Foster is going to have a tough time running on the Ravens, and if you have to go with a one dimensional passing game against the Baltimore defense you may as well dress your quarterback in meat and throw him in the grizzly pit at your local zoo. Houston’s defensive backs are clueless when it comes to stopping the deep ball…that isn’t good against a team that can run it, force the D to come up to stop Ray Rice, then chuck it long.