Yes indeed, now promoting ‘pause before you play’ (that really is the tagline) are the dynamic duo of Bristol Palin and The Situation of Jersey Shore fame. Oh sorry, B Palin and Sitch.
Really.
Where to begin with this mess. Oh I know…Bristol Palin claiming she won’t hook up before she’s married, due to her commitment to abstinence.
YOU HAVE A FUCKING KID. I hate to break this to you, but you got that kid by fucking an idiot! You kinda failed at the whole abstinence thing, jackass. Who wrote this script, your moron mother? I suspect Todd was too busy ramping ski-doos out of helicopters and on to unsuspecting deer below, so the blame sort of has to fall on good ol’ Sarah.
Note to ‘Sitch’…you are a white person. Well, okay, if we’re being completely correct, you are in fact an ORANGE person. My point is, you aren’t black. So just stop it. Please. You’re committing an act of race hatred every time you open your fucking mouth.
And who threw this idea out there? How many things were previously tried that didn’t stick before this did? What a dynamic duo. Never has such incredible screen chemistry been seen since we were subjected to every single conversational scene in those god awful Star Wars prequel films.
Actually though, I think the ad gets the point across. Wanna be stuck with some Bristol-like expert in self denial as she parades out her 15 minutes of fame before the inevitable fall in to winning ‘Fattest Chick in the Trailer Park’ competitions after landing mouth first in a depression-induced Twinkies frenzy? Or perhaps you’d like to find yourself trapped with some sort of greaseball progeny resembling good ol’ Sitch there? No? Perhaps toss on a condom…or three. Triple wrapping might not be a bad idea. Anything is worth avoiding that sort of…situation. AHAHAHA!
Sorry.
Not really.
