What I’m watching – Dead Snow

Does that poster appeal to you? No? What’s wrong with you!

If you do find yourself intrigued by a tale of undead Nazis living in the mountains of Norway, you will LOVE this movie.

It will definitely be coming along to the next cheezy movie night, along with Black Dynamite.

I found myself essentially live tweeting my thoughts while watching this fine epic, so I figure I’ll share those. It hadn’t been my intention to do so, but it was fun. Actually, a little side conversation started up with others who had seen the flick. Hell, I GAINED a new follower!

So, I’m just going to re-share my Twitter comments since they pretty much tell the tale without spoiling all of the sheer glory that this thing of beauty contains. Also, because I’m lazy. And no, this isn’t my ‘official’ blog entry for the day…that’s coming later.

Now watching Dead Snow. How the Hell did a Nazi zombie get THAT CLOSE without this idiot hearing them? Who cares. Go Undead Reich!

2 minutes of watching a bunch of Norwegians talk about avalanches. I want the dead to feast upon them all. Mission accomplished, director!

“Do you think there’s any chance to slam it in her number 2.” Norway, you are goddamn awesome.

A shout out to Evil Dead 1 and 2?! Sweet! Ten minutes in, this movie’s awesome. And that fat dude is gonna be a goose stepper buffet.

That’s it…waste all your fuel…make escape impossible…

A ‘joking suffocation with a pillow’…weirdest way ever to explain that a character is claustrophobic.

Yeah, cause when you hear something shuffling around you in the woods, the best plan is to wander the darkness shouting “Hello?”

Lemme guess…the wizened old Slav will now tell them about the ‘Legend of the Undead Fascists’…

Well, that was…disappointing. I wanted tales of Nazis summoning Satan! BOOO! BOO HISS!

“And what if you’re holding in your intestines…what then? What if your limbs are torn off?” This guy is the worst conversationalist EVER.

So, he knows about the evil in the mountains, but still camps out there in a tent shouting “Hello?” in to the night? Brilliant.

Nothing DEMANDS a heavy metal backdrop like future zombie food riding a GT Snow Racer.

Hey, what’s this mysterious box that was in the house the whole time? Oh hey, Nazi gold! lol

Uh oh…UH OH…youth drinking in a cabin in the middle of nowhere? With pre-marital sex on the way? This can’t end well.

So, the hottest girl in the group is banging the fat guy while he’s in the process of taking a shit. EAT THEM! EAT THEM NOW!

And now she’s on the crapper. Is that how it works in Norway? To get toilet time you screw the person using it?

Goddamn! Nazi zombies make panthers look slow and noncommittal.

Who knew that the zombies could smash through windows to get in…who knew? lol

Wait…don’t zombies eat brains? They just dumped the fat guy’s all over the floor! No wonder the Germans lost the war!

Did the zombies wait to emerge until after he found the Nazi flag? I respect their attention to dramatic detail!

Nothing says “It’s over.” like finding your girlfriend’s head on a shelf. Also, that zombie just punched dude! Sweet!

Yes, continue splitting up in to bite sized segments of stupidity. Woohoo!

Hanging over a cliff by a dead man’s entrails. This might be the greatest thing ever.

Don’t mind us, we’re just eating you. That is some impressive level of shock.

Oh, good. Light your shelter ablaze and call the fire department…and tell them you’re under Nazi zombie siege. Genius.

Seriously, WHY BOTHER WITH THE FIRE? Dumbest horror movie characters EVAR, and that’s saying something.

Wow. Sewing closed your own zombie induced bite wound with fishing gear. This guy is the Rambo of stupid kids.

Two guys facing down an onrushing squad of undead German soldiers with chainsaw and sledgehammer with musical accompaniment. Glorious.

Honey…I…I didn’t MEAN to drive a knife through your throat…I….uhhh…oh.

You can’t be a Nazi zombie! Your grandfather is a Jew! LOLZ

He’s amazingly spry for a man who just lost half an arm…

Damn…DO NOT steal from Nazis. Probably didn’t need to be told that, but it’s certainly been drummed home.