The wonderful world of shared self interest

It’s everywhere. I hate the name of it (social media? Really? It isn’t so much social as it is “Here’s a pile of my stuff!”), but it’s everywhere. I could talk about how it’s influencing more and more people and companies, or how too many share too much too soon and smash their future credibility in to little shards of nothing. I could do that…but I’ve kinda done that already. And since I’ve been getting a bit more personal with a fair amount of my blog content, I’ll look at it through the Cliff Perspective (aka mockery).

Everyone is probably quite clear on my feelings about Facebook. I never really got on with it very well, and quickly reached the point where I’d rather spend my time lancing my ear drums with sewing needles than log in to that den of pointless updates ever again. It was awful.

And yet, I’m active on Twitter. I’m active on Empire Ave (post on that coming later this week). I’m sharing little pieces of myself all over the damn place. So what’s the difference?

This is actually a question that I’ve struggled with a bit. IS there a difference? Price…price is the difference.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one. Seriously though, why did I react so negatively to Facebook and jump full bore in to other networks much more willingly? Why the different attitude?

Part of it seems to be that I’ve kind of defined a purpose for those other programs to serve. I tend to use Twitter in the same way that I’ve used Google Buzz…quick little “Hey, look at this wacky stuff!” or “Can you believe this idiot?” type bits. Goodreads and Last.FM let me share what I read and listen to (did you really need this explanation? Seek help if you answered in the affirmative to that question) with any poor bastard so bored that he/she is actually interested. I really don’t see Del.icio.us as a social network so much as I just see it as a way to bookmark sites, so that doesn’t even tend to rate. And of course, Youtube is used to find videos of the world’s newest dance craze.

So what purpose did Facebook serve? It certainly filled the bill for annoying, pointless crap filling my feed (often contributed by the friends of people I sorta kinda remember in a vague sort of way). Aside from that…catching up with friends? I already tend to do that in real life, or through chat, or blog comments, etc.. It never stepped in to a niche (besides pissing me off) and said “Okay, I got this covered for ya, hoss.”

And the other aspect of it that bothered me WAS that flood of total bullshit. Yes, every social media network has it, but with Facebook it was an absolute flood of drivel that couldn’t be dammed…but was most certainly damned…AHAHAHAHA! Ugh.

Facebook is like that girl who won’t shut the fuck up and annoys everyone around her. Her voice never goes away. Even after you’ve left whatever Hellhole she was inhabiting, it still haunts your memories and torments your dreams. “So this guy you sorta know totally changed his status cause he broke up with this chick you don’t know and now she’s leaving messages on his wall and look, this dude brought up some photos of himself puking cause he was drunk and this person poked this person cause he’s crazy like that and this girl is totally playing some shitty web game and wanted you to know she just shot a cow and now this other guy is liking that because he hates cows and he’s posted an update telling you that so this other person responded by saying she hates it and 16 social groups have all tried to get you to join their shitty conversations and blah blah blah.” WHO CARES?! Nobody likes that girl! Any poor bastard drunk enough to take her home jumps out the window and in to the embrace of sweet, sweet death. And she never notices because SHE WON’T STOP TALKING.

Or maybe it’s the kid we all knew who we were friends with because he had stuff. And he KNEW that was the deal, so he would get you to play with him by selling you on the new cool shit his parents bought him in some pitiful attempt to purchase him companionship.

“So…I’ve got these social group chat things…did you know about those? My mom bought me like 13,257 different games that we could totally play. Did you know that instead of poking Greg we can now throw a LLAMA at him? Isn’t that some crazy hijinks? Say, wanna leave shitty drawings on someone’s wall? We can do that…or listen to music! Do ya like music? Yeah, we can do that. Wanna look at some cool pictures of me drunk?”

Actually…considering the dude behind Facebook, this is probably not a bad comparison…especially since he apparently won’t let anyone block him. Overcompensating for a life of loneliness by force, Mark?

And the thing is, while you can turn a lot of that off, all of that stuff seems to be THE POINT of the whole thing. If you actually switch all of that noise off, you’re left with essentially a third rate blogging platform. So why wouldn’t I just…BLOG? And if white noise is the basis for your platform, I think that we can safely say that your platform is a bit pointless.

So perhaps it’s some measure of adulthood that I don’t wish to spend time with something or someone simply because they have the fun toys (and in this case the toys are made in China, full of toxic lead, and jump directly in to your mouth whenever you go near them). Or perhaps I just think that Farmville needs to be burned to the ground. Or maybe it’s something more selfish.

See, what all of the other networks that I am plugged in to have in common is that they tend towards me sharing stuff with other people. Maybe the simple truth of the matter is that I’d rather participate in something from that side of things than from the side of being inundated by other people’s stuff. Perhaps this is a bit of a window in to the true nature of my being. Maybe I’m sticking with things that let me lock anyone I don’t like out of it in the first phase of a psychosis that will eventually see me collecting my urine in jars and constructing ‘friends’ out of old milk jugs and plastic sheeting.

Except that I often find myself astounded when someone actually READS what I put up on my blog, or someone outside my circle of friends (you know, the people who occasionally throw you a bone of attention out of obligation) replies to me on Twitter. So I don’t think it’s that.

Whatever it is, the answer is clear…Facebook blows diseased yaks.