Movie you have to see – Black Dynamite

This is one of the most glorious film epics I have ever borne witness to. Think full bore homage to blaxploitation flicks of the past. It’s glorious, it’s hilarious, it’s insanely over the top…but goddamn does it work.

If you can look at that poster and not immediately seek out this stupendous piece of work, I have no idea what in the Hell you’re doing on my blog right now. I don’t wanna ruin even a second of this work of art, but I will add the fake ad for Anaconda Malt Liquor (itself a fantastic parody of the old Colt 45 ads by Billy Dee Williams) in here to give y’all a taste. If you only keep on readin’…

Okay, on to the main event. First off…yes, his name is indeed Black Dynamite. He’s blacker than the ace of spades and more militant than an army. And when it comes to the new drugs hittin’ the streets of his ghetto, he’s gonna fight…it’s all he knows how to do…fight until he can’t fight no more. And now that the man’s got the black man’s back against the wall, he’s gonna take him down…he’s gonna take em ALL down. And yes, that is a direct quote.

How’s he gonna do that? He’s an expert in the martial arts (training sessions come complete with dramatic fight music that wouldn’t have been out of place in a Star Trek episode). That is, when he isn’t busy lovin’ them bitches by the racially diverse trio…maybe after takin’ em down to Roscoe’s Chili & Donuts. Or gettin’ it on with some sweet mama completely in animated vignettes. He’s also a smooth as shit investigator who you can’t get the drop on, turkeys.

And if you thought he was motivated by the man gettin’ them kids high as a motherfucker, wait until you see what happens when someone kills his brother cold in the streets. Black Dynamite gonna make em pay. And he’ll do it all to a fantastic soul/funk soundtrack with often hilarious lyrics describing exactly what’s happening on screen while the band hits.

And the flashbacks…Sweet Jesus the wondrous flashbacks! BD will take you back to his days in the ‘Nam. And his days in the CIA. And his momma tellin’ him to keep his brother off them drugs. Well damn, looks like he failed there. But he’ll get his revenge.

And the names…Bullhorn, the rhyming pimp daddy. Tasty Freeze, part of what seems to be a pimp union. Creamed Corn (cause he’s smooth like that), who’s basically the Huggy Bear of the movie. I couldn’t make names like these up if I tried.

Honestly, if you don’t want to see this movie there is something the fuck wrong with you. And if these shots don’t seal the deal, you best just step off and get yo ass out my joint.

Cause this bad mothafucka got a license to kill yo ass DEAD. The scene where BD and his partners figure out what the nefarious plot is through the most insane line of reasoning (using Greek and Roman mythology) of all time makes the movie worth it all on its own. And that’s to say nothing of the reveal of the TRUE villain for all this…and the nunchuk fight that ensues. Go ahead and try to guess who the culprit is…you will be wrong.

Did I mention the treacherous Dr. Wu and Kung Fu Island? I guess I did now.

Seriously, I’ve watched it twice in the last day and a half. Really fun flick, and you can tell everyone involved had a blast. I will DEFINITELY be bringing this to our next movie night.