Facebook UPDATED

I already hated it. It was a never ending cavalcade of pointless crap delivered by people who I generally barely knew. The few interesting nuggets of gold were buried in so much shit that it wasn’t worth panning through it. So I deactivated my account and moved on.

So colour me surprised when I received an email from Facebook today, telling me that it was great that I’d done something with my account. I didn’t. I wouldn’t. But since I was now stuck wondering if someone had hacked in to my account on that shitshow, I now had to just to change my password again. Awesome. This is just goddamn awesome. Begin rage!

I couldn’t even remember my password, so I had to reset it. And that brought my account back to life (again, apparently) like a hideous monster that needs a clip of silver bullets emptied in to it’s face. I don’t even care if it dies, I just want it scarred and savaged and left screaming in a field somewhere.

Page after page of stupid “Here’s what’s different!” garbage before I can finally access my account options. And I go to deactivate (AGAIN!)

I am now shown a screen of a bunch of pictures of people still linked as Friends to my account, with messages of how sad they’d be if I left. At this point, the expletives became fully verbal.

If ANYONE who actually knows me is truly saddened at my removing myself (AGAIN!) from this horrible application, I do not wish to remain friends with you in any capacity at all. I want to cause you pain.

And what the Hell is the point of this? Some sort of weird guilt trip? Attention Mark Zuckerberg…guilt trips typically work because they come from a woman that we want to fuck. You aren’t a woman. I do not wish to be inside of you, aside from my fist driving through you when I deliver a vicious body punch. Enough. Just enough.

This angered me to such a ridiculous extent that I went back and removed every single person who still resided on my friends list. Gone. All gone. Who’s gonna miss me now, Facebook? Who you guilt trippin’ me with NOW? Yes indeed, it was war between myself and a ridiculous app.

Now it’s gone again. I am never coming back. I deleted basically every goddamn link to this mess that I could before killing it (AGAIN). Let me delete it, you douchebag whores.

I couldn’t possibly hate Facebook more. It isn’t possible.

UPDATE : Thanks to Liam, I have killed my account. The Earth has been salted. If you wish to do the same, follow one of the sets of instructions here.