Hey hey everyone, E3 is over…so I figured I’d try to make up for splattering 10,000 or so words about games at you in 4 days with some amusing stuff I have found. Not that I have the slightest regret for talkin’ games, punks.

Firstly, earlier in the week I won a Paradox Interactive contest on Twitter, getting me a copy of Lead & Gold. So, having taken up residence in the win zone (just off the corner of Awesome and Sweet) I was pumped when someone I know re-tweeted a contest to win an Alienware laptop. “How can I not enter? Clearly I’m golden today!” So I followed the link. There was a legitimate contest page, and I pressed that shiny ‘Enter Here’ button to be taken to…

We’re sorry, but we cannot accept contest entries from outside the United States. In a few moments, you will be directed to a similar contest.

DAMN YOU, TAX LAWS! DAMN YOU TO THE HELL THAT SPAWNED YOU! Oh well, maybe the replacement contest is something good. If it’s similar it has to be okay, right? After about 15 seconds of redirects, up comes the page…

So…either that is some expensive shampoo, or Canadian equivalents in the field of technology are still lagging far behind the rest of the developed world. Never has so much excitement been gutted like a fish in quite so fast a manner. It was like going to buy a lotto ticket, being told that they were out but the clerk has a similar alternative, then being handed the bloody bandage he just ripped off of his leg wound. And worst (or best, really) of all is that taunting little bastard at the top of the screen. Look at that prick! Tongue sticking out, flaunting his duck…screw you too, junior! At least I’m capable of walking and wiping my own ass!

Second of all, we have the greatest news story that I’ve seen since the tale of monkey prisons in India first came to my attention. Welcome to Bavaria, where the local youth have some…interesting hobbies. It’s a short story, so I’m going to quote it in all of it’s glorious entirety.

German student attacks Hell’s Angels with puppy

(Reuters) – A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell’s Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.

German police said on Monday that after making his getaway from the Hell’s Angels club, the 26-year-old dumped the bulldozer, causing a 5 km (3 miles) traffic jam near the southern town of Allershausen, local police said. He then fled to his home nearby where he was apprehended by the police.

“What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell’s Angels is currently unclear,” said a spokesman for local police, adding that the student had lately been suffering from depression.

The puppy was now in safe hands, the spokesman added.

So, he did this because of the depression he was suffering from? Sounds like this beats Paxil hands down! I love how he just happened to find a throwable dog, then just happened to find a bulldozer that he could drive off in. No cars, not a bike…A BULLDOZER. The entire story is simply perfect…adding more to it would just be greedy.