Rather than judge companies harshly, why not judge their games? I’m obviously not going to talk about everything…there’s too much stuff here that I don’t care about AND can’t mock. I’ll cover everything on the live feed, and hunt out some other stuff I’m interested in if I’m hitting a lull.
Christ, no lulls! This got lengthy…so much so that I’ve split it in to two parts. Anyway, I talk about the following games in here : Medal of Honor, Warhammer 40K Space Marine, WH40K Dark Millennium, Disney’s Epic Mickey, Deus Ex 3 : Human Revolution, Kane & Lynch 2 : Dog Days, Little Big Planet 2, Final Fantasy 14, Call of Duty Black Ops and The Witcher 2 : Assassins of Kings.
IT BEGINS!
Medal of Honor – I cannot look at screenshots of this without initially wondering why Modern Warfare 2 is being shown again. That aside, the multiplayer sounds interesting. I like the fact that you get points for efficiency…head shots, capping points, taking out a sniper who’s working your team over, etc. And bonuses for working as a squad, with team buffs and the like, is aces in my books. A focus on bigger maps, lots of different environments, 24 player max cap. OOOO! Weapons customization?! My inner gun geek is totally freaking out! Custom ammo?! Heehee! The fact that I’m giddy probably disturbs people…whatever, they’re weak.
WHY are they replaying that embarrassing Zelda show piece from yesterday? Does someone at IGN have a blood feud with the Miyamotos or something? Fuck. And now you want me to sit through Reggie Fils-Aime being a smug cunt again? Ugh.
Warhammer 40K – Space Marine/WH40K – Dark Millennium – Space Marine is a console exclusive action RPG with you as a member of the Ultramarines. Still not a ton of information about it, but I’m a fucking fanboy of the property so it doesn’t matter. You get to custom equip your dude (sort of like in Dawn of War 2, I’d imagine) and hack through legions of orcs. Happy Cliff. Dark Millennium scares the fuck out of me…because it’s an MMO. No details have dropped. Can you play as any race? How do you level up to the more powerful classes like Dreadnoughts and Space Marines? How does travel work? Combat work? The game work? All I know is that I’d better get some sun now, because come 2012 I will probably become one of those pasty, pathetic, emaciated types spending six hours a day grinding for the next hit of gear.
Disney’s Epic Mickey – An action-adventure-platforming-RPG for the Wii. I hate Mickey Mouse. Every time I hear his voice, I want Goofy to realize he’s a predator and rip that fucking mouse’s throat out. This game is a neat idea, though. The Steamboat Willy section is a black and white side scroller. Skull Island is a full 3D space where you can wander wherever you want to. Everything seems to fit the levels, and they’re custom designed to fit the original property. They still haven’t truly explained the paint/thinner mechanics and how they affect the game, though. And if Warren Spector could stop slavering at the feet of Disney and essentially trying to blow Walt, that’d be awesome.
Deus Ex 3 : Human Revolution – The first game was a classic. A first person role playing game set in a Cyberpunk universe. You could apparently finish the game without killing anyone…but what nancy boy did that? Anyway, do what you want. Treat everyone how you want. Go where you want. Stealth, combat, social skills (you know…sharing, caring, not slapping that guy’s sister…the usual stuff all kids learn) and hacking are your main components, with different level ups and downs for your character based more on what you do and how you do it than on levelling up skill points. I like me that. There are still abilities you can add to your cybernetic augmentations (I wanna be me a T-1000!), though. I like me the look of this bad boy, too.
Kane & Lynch 2 : Dog Days – The only memorable part of the first K&L is that giving it a poor review got a Gamespot reviewer fired. So…I suppose the sequel will try for 2? An entire website, perhaps? “Now that they’re back together, it’s an explosive cocktail.” Yuck. Okay, the urban firefights look good, but those freeways look pretty bare. If this is supposed to be a major metropolitan area, shouldn’t there be cars on the road that aren’t driven by bad guys with machine pistols? Or maybe it’s just set in Detroit…(insert rimshot). Okay…now they’re in an area with a lot of civilian traffic. One of the main characters is taking cover behind a car that’s being riddled with bullets, and the woman behind the wheel is just sitting there like her biggest concern is where to pick up the coffee on the way to the office. Yeah, that sort of makes me question your touted ‘improved AI’. And there’s the basic question of…why? The first game didn’t sell and it didn’t get good reviews…so why were resources spent on this sequel?
Little Big Planet 2 – I actually don’t know if that’s 3 words, one word…hmmm. Whatever. The GAME looks neat. the first really brought out level creation on the console platform. This one gives people full access to the editing tools. It looks like people have made everything from goofy boxing games to platformers, top down shooters, kart racers, an RTS game with base building…everything. I’m honestly pretty blown away at the flexibility of the whole engine, and that unto itself makes the game impressive. And the whole game part of it looks pretty sweet, too.
Final Fantasy 14 – Okay, yesterday I just mocked this without watching. Today I’ll watch. Let’s see…big guy with hammer. Little magician who looks like Orco from He-Man. Big dragon. Dude with spiky hair. Some chick who’s part human, part…I dunno, raccoon maybe? Airship. Big sword. Rubble falling. Would anyone even notice if they took the characters from a previous version and dropped them in here? Really? Does anyone outside of Japan give a shit anymore?
Call of Duty Black Ops – Really could have done without the developer trying to be all ‘tough guy’, using his best gruff voice to spit out “And now, we take you deep behind enemy lines…into the the world of deniable operations…Call of Duty, Black Ops.” like a 7th rate professional wrestler cutting his first promo. Awful. You’re a game developer in a silver shirt, you are not a commando. Now, the game looks interesting…lots of environments. Tunnel rat segments, a gunship part that reminds me of that sweet AC-130 part from CoD 4, Arctic areas, jungle parts…looks like a nice mix. Will there be anything that makes it worth picking up? That has yet to be determined. Christ, can just ONE character in this game talk like he’s not trying to be ‘tuff guy’? And how many rockets does this Hind have…is there a guy out on the winglets reloading the tubes?
The Witcher 2 : Assassins of Kings – I have never been a huge RPG fan. I currently have 4 of them sitting on my hard drive, waiting for their turn to be played. The first Witcher is a big reason for that. I like the fact that they’ve added a timer to conversations, so you have to think quickly (and unlike BioWare’s obvious good guy/bad guy shit, it isn’t always apparent what option is the ‘right’ choice). The game looks a lot better…building their own engine gave them a lot more power than the ancient backbone of the Neverwinter Nights series gave the original game. Party based combat looks good, too. And since every character is independent, they won’t necessarily stand by your side. Geralt, the main character, has done a lot of shitty things in the past (he ain’t heroic…reason #736 I like the property), and that affects the game. So does the last game…you can carry saves over. That means I have to replay the first game, because I didn’t keep the saves. Damn you, CD Projekt!
More coming later on tonight. More good stuff…more bad stuff…more ‘What the fuck?’ stuff.
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