I drafted 6th. I put the goddamn league together, and I get stuck picking in the middle (which sucks). Not cool. And frigging Liam went first…enjoy The purple clad boom or bust warrior, you bastard!
Without further ado, the team (and this is the team I’ll be blathering about on a weekly basis)
Quarterback : Hello, Aaron Rodgers of the Packers. Coming off a stellar year, he should be capable of repeating those stats this year.
I waited a LOOOONG time to pick a backup, and eventually went with Trent Edwards of Buffalo. Not a bad choice, I think, considering he has a fair amount of talent around him. My worry is his line.
Running Back : LaDainian Tomlinson. The previous perennial first pick overall. I am obviously hoping for a bounce back season. What the Hell, let’s roll the damn dice!
Kevin Smith of the steaming heap of shit known as the Detroit Lions (an organization that claims to have something in common with professional football) is one of the few players on offense who isn’t…well, offensive really.
The Baltimore Ravens have a stupid running back by committee, but big, bad Le’Ron McClain was the head of that committee last year. He is certainly capable of being so again this season.
Jamal Lewis on my roster, coupled with LT, may as well drive me to change the name of my squad to ‘Team Reclamation Project’. All I want is 1000 yards and 8 TDs. That’s it. Even Eric Mangini can’t fuck things up badly enough to prevent that, can he?
Finally, since every team needs an official ‘Master of the Bud’, I brought in Ricky Williams. He’s everyone’s favourite stoner. He also once posed for a magazine shot in a wedding dress. Uhhh…hmmm…
Wide Receiver : The first receiver off the board (for me anyway) is Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers. The guy opposite him is ALWAYS old, slow and/or crappy. And yet he always puts up big stats.
Lee Evans from Buffalo should get single coverage downfield a fair amount with whine master Terrell Owens on the club now. Also, whenever I start Edwards, HOPEFULLY they hook up. For touchdowns, not ass sex.
The Colts’ Anthony Gonzalez steps in to the #2 receiver spot, which should make him an automatic for some nice numbers.
Derrick Mason, you’re still the only receiver Baltimore has that’s worth a warm handful of shit! Welcome!
Atlanta’s Michael Jenkins is never going to be a big play guy, but he’s a big possession receiver in the middle of the field.
Finally, in order to produce as much confusion (for me as much as anyone else), come on down THE OTHER Steve Smith, this one of the New York Giants! He’s a starting receiver for a team with legit Super Bowl aspirations…and I got him in the 23rd and final fucking round!
Tight End : I waited this time and ended up with Dustin Keller of the Jets. I’m a bit worried about this one, actually. Keller has a ton of talent, but he has a rookie QB throwing to him. On the other hand, he might be the only big play threat that rookie QB has.
Kicker : Rian Lindell of Buffalo. He’s reliable, the offense looks decent, whatever. I don’t tend to sweat the kicker spot all that much. Chances are I’ll go through 3 or 4 of them over the course of the year.
Defensive Players : I went with 2 spots here. 5 D positions…so you can put any defensive player from any defensive position in there…and 3 DB spots…either safeties or cornerbacks. I did this to prevent someone from just throwing 8 linebackers in there. I almost didn’t need to. I cannot believe how many people used so many picks on cornerbacks, defensive tackles, all kinds of spots that don’t usually produce consistent stats. Wow.
My linebackers first…starting with San Francisco’s Patrick Willis. Calling Willis a tackle machine is an insult…to him. He’s like a tackling Jesus…not God himself, but the son. Karlos Dansby of Arizona is a good all around producer. New England’s Jerod Mayo looks potentially like the AFC version of Willis. Lamarr Woodley of Pittsburgh has a nice first year as a starter, an insanely good playoff run, and he lines up opposite the reigning defensive player of the year. Carolina’s Thomas Davis was a nice producer for me last year. Racks of tackles, racks up pass defense plays, good starter.
My defensive backs…all safeties, since I want tackles…Brandon Meriweather of the Patriots has a nice year last season without even being an all year starter. He could be a monster this year. Chris Hope of Tennessee is a good, consistent player and Chicago’s Kevin Payne was quietly one of the league’s leading tacklers amongst safeties.
All in all, a decent team. My running back corps is a roll of the dice, but aside from that I feel pretty good about it.
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