Peer Pressure Works!

Draft day number 2, which is the only reason I was up and about and somewhat functional at 8:30 on a Saturday.

Bit of a different league structure this time. One an 8 team league, so that’s going to compress the talent with fewer teams to spread it out. And an…interesting league set up. The weekly lineup every week :

QB, QB, WR, WR, WR, RB, RB, WE-TE, WR-RB, WR-RB-TE-QB, K, K, Def, Def

Yep, there are THREE multiple position spots, one at which a QB can be played…on top of having to start 2 of them every week as it is. Couple that with a scoring system where a TD pass is worth as much as a TD scored and it’s passer fever! Oh, and two kickers ever week blows goats…goats with AIDS.

(continue reading…)

Yes indeed, it’s that time of the year…the time when my rampant posts about gaming (my first post about my second try of Arma 2 is coming soon!) become mixed with rampant posts about football teams that don’t technically exist outside of the Yahoo realm.

As I await the draft of the league I set up this year, Pigskin Idiots (featuring a lot of people from a sports site I frequent as well as Liam and Sean Woods…also, incidentally, the league I will be regularly posting about this year), I figured I’d mention how my drafts leading up to that one are going.

Anyway, this is a league using individual defensive players, and focusing in more on position-specific defensive players. Most ‘cookie cutter standard’ leagues (read : boring as fuck) just use team defenses. The weekly line up requirements : 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 WR/RB, 1 WR/RB/TE, 1 K, 1 D (any defensive position), 1 LB, 1 DL, 1 DT, 1 DE, 1 DB, 1 S, 1CB.

(continue reading…)

Yes indeed, I saw it. And…yep, I saw it. I would say that this may contain spoilers, but that would indicate that there is something here that could be spoiled.

Let’s just make this simple :

The Good

By some miracle, yes, there WAS some good!

-Ninja fights. If I have to explain why this is awesome, you suck.

-Hot chicks in tight costumes. See above.

-Some cool set piece battle sequences.

-Destro’s hatred of the French. Woohoo-ness! Take those frogs out!

-It has been awhile since I’ve seen an ‘arming up and training’ montage. Cheezy, but acceptable in an action movie.

-The Zartan ‘presidential swap’…pretty cool.

The Bad

If one more fucking character had had ‘their past catch up to them’, I would have killed everyone in the damn theatre. Enough! Jesus! Baroness is Duke’s ex-girlfriend? What fuckwit retard dreamed up that shit? Her brother, who got shot up because Duke couldn’t protect the pussy (I wish I was making any of this up) is COBRA COMMANDER? WHAT THE FUCK?! Oh, he THOUGHT the brother died, but in a twist that perhaps would fool any mongoloids in the audience, he isn’t dead! And…oh, SHE doesn’t know that that’s her brother! Was this script found in a box of Cracker Jacks? Did the Days of Our Lives writers take a few days off from the show to write up a movie script?

We have Scarlet the ‘genius girl’ who has to learn to deal with her own mortality. How original…were this 1926, and we were new to this whole ‘talky’ thing.

And oh look, it’s ANOTHER Duke flashback to his lost love who he can’t kill because he still loves her dammit. Pardon me, I need to vomit…too much Hollywood cliche. And at the end of it, he throws on his aviator sunglasses and rides off on his bike. Why don’t you just name the guy Maverick and get it over with?

Super suits? When did this become Crysis : The Film? Oh, but it’s a movie, so we GOTS to have SUPER SUITS!

Hey kids, I'm Generic Joe!

And not even Gil ‘I solve everything’ Grissom could have magically figured out where the Hell Destro and the base were like Frenchy the tech geek commando did.

Christ, did they take over Superman’s polar sanctuary and turn it in to EvilCo?

And of course, there’s the ‘This mission goes against the orders of our government…any man who wishes to leave may do so with no questions asked’ scene with nobody leaving the room. Weeeeeee.

Why in the name of all that doesn’t suck does Snake Eyes, a ninja who doesn’t speak, HAVE LIPS ON HIS MASK?

And it all culminates in basically an underwater version of Star Wars, complete with a pulse cannon version of ‘this battle station is fully operational’ wreckin’ shit.

And the ‘period of silence before we know one of the heroic pilot is alive’ thing. THAT isn’t old!

WHY does the final Cobra Commander mask looks like they took the mask of Jason Voorhees and sent it to Pimp my Ride ?

Honestly, this COULD have actually worked if they’d avoided the hackneyed Hollywood bullshit. They didn’t. It didn’t. Fuck Hollywood.

Apologies for the delay in getting this out. It almost didn’t happen…for some reason, my computer apparently decided to move my saved games from one area to another. Luckily I found the damn things and moved them BACK to where they needed to be.

“Father Eaner?” Waryn asked again, standing before the priest who was himself slumped at his desk in the writing room.

“I thought that dude was girl…I…what?” Eaner blurted as he suddenly returned to a state of awakening from that awful nightmare, “Waryn…what’s going on?”

“Father, you…well, you missed your sermon.”

“I missed…CURSES! It was a good one, too!” Eaner truly was fuming. It was a rare opportunity to speak, for Father Bernard usually insisted on having the spotlight cast down upon him and his overly pink face at all times. This was Eaner’s chance to step in and shine in a colourful manner…the comparisons he’d written between The Duchess and the Whore of Babylon were fantastic! These backwoods country mongrels would have loved it…well, they would have loved anything not delivered to them by the Count of Somnolence himself, really. And now he had slept through his chance, having stayed up late in to the night making his final preparations. All of that good gambling time spent writing sermons, and it was completely and utterly wasted.

“My apologies, Father. We tried to find you in time, but you weren’t in your usual places.” Waryn explained. It was his polite way of saying ‘You weren’t passed out and covered in your own grape-stained drool somewhere in the rectory.’

(continue reading…)

So, yes…I know it’s been a week, and the 3rd part of the adventures of Eaner has not appeared yet. It IS coming…I’m part way done the post. I’m also taking a second shot at the updated version of the Arma 2 demo (you might remember my earlier attempt at this). And I’ve been playing The Witcher on top of all of that.

In the meantime, enjoy this!

I know that oftentimes I play at going off the handle on this blog. Well, okay…sometimes I DO snap and lose it but generally I’m playing it up, or taking a bit of anger at some public figure or event and intentionally exaggerating it. This was not one of those times.

One of the feeds in to my Google Reader account is Bizarro Blog, where the guy who draws/writes Bizarro comics posts his work and blathers on about whatever is on his mind. Today, he shared a piece of video he had found online. I watched it. It was one of the most honestly infuriating things I can remember seeing.

I have said many times that I don’t have problems with those of faith, and I don’t. What I have problems with are those of faith who seem to forget that, as believers, they’re not supposed to strut around like ‘chosen’ motherfuckers and rub their God of choice in everyone’s face.

I realize that I haven’t done a good job of ’selling’ this bit of video, but please watch it because I’m curious to know if I’m the only one who was honestly pissed off by the sheer…I don’t even know what word to put here…audacity, stupidity and smug douchebaggery of the people in it. They’re about 14…and I was sadly disappointed when one of them didn’t snap and beat the living fuck out of the other two, because they most sincerely deserved it.

And can we please avoid the normal (and infuriating) response of “Well, they ARE  Americans…haha!”, since that would pretty much make you the smug, stuck up equivalent of the dingbats in that video.

Every year around the release of Madden, this email makes a glorious re-appearance around the Internets. It was supposedly a letter from Ethan Albright, long snapper and backup offensive lineman for the Washington Redskins, to John Madden, Ace Hardware hawker and part time Frankenstein impersonator, over his rating of 53 Overall in Madden ‘07. It soon turned out to be fake, and was made up by a comic, but it’s really fucking funny. And here it is.

  

 

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

(continue reading…)

Last year, the Canadian Copyright Act (Bill C-61) was tabled during a session of Parliament, and eventually shelved along with the government as Parliament was dissolved. In short, the bill would basically have handed every piece of ‘protective’ legislation to the media companies that they’ve ever asked for. The whole document was a wish list of the things the RIAA, MPAA and various software associations have been bitching and whining about needing for years now as they describe Canada as a cesspool of peg legged piratical fiends spreading theft to the world.

Well, the Canadian Government is currently holding consultation settings before setting a new course in terms of Copyright, user rights, DRM, and all that sort of fun shit. The pleasant surprise has been…people actually seem to have taken notice. C-61 sort of woke up a large sector of the population that what a lot of these things can actually mean for the end user, and they don’t seem to have slipped back in to a state of slumber yet. The open sessions that have been held in various cities have reportedly been well attended.

(continue reading…)

Oh yes, it’s that motherfucking time again! Time for the innocent to hide in dark basements from the mayhem that is about to ensue! Time for the lawful and righteous to run from that which scares them so deeply that not a single pair of their pants will go unsoiled! Time for even the tyrannical and powerful to shake in their boots because they feel the electricity in the air…or perhaps because they’re a bit cold and forgot to pack a sweater!

Do I really need to say anything else?! Not really…but I will anyway because I love to see my own thoughts up there in the glow of the monitor, and my ego demands that you all be subjected to it as well!

What television show features net shirts and brightly coloured hair?! Who was overcome by lust (and citrus-laced alcoholic beverages) and fondled Chad?! Who is behind the death of Michael Jackson?! Who just can’t stop the cheezy lounge crooner within himself from coming out in all its’ shimmering silver suit glory?! Who committed an act of terrorism near a party?! And exactly who left Liam’s carpets awash in fecal matter?! You’ll find all that AND MORE right here

If you have the guts…

Not good enough?! Fine! Subscribe to iTunes and get it here, chump!

Still not good enough? Okay, how about this RSS Podcasting feed? Now it gets brought to you, you lazy mongrel!

Still not working for ya?! Tough.

Our month of imposed textual horror is over!

And on this evening I declare that you shall all live free from the tyranny of forced content brought about by the blogging challenge! No longer will you walk in to that good night of blog reading, not sure whether you would face quality material or bitter rage and failure, the jealousy of other posters over what they felt was repetitive content (and was no doubt actually based on the impressive word total produced by yours truly – more on that later) or the post atrocities of blathering nonsense to try and fill a quota. No, ladies and gentlemen…you are now free to enjoy the succour from not having to read almost ten blogs every single day. Now you can enjoy a good, healthy break between regular exposure to crap.

Well, it’s been interesting. Overall, I’m fairly pleased with the results. Sure, there are a few filler bits in there that make me want to gag on the bile that begins rising up my throat as soon as I start reading them, but most of the results were actually fairly respectable. All in all I had a LOT less filler in the end than I had feared in the beginning.

My final tally…I did miss one day this past weekend. There was another day I missed after an outburst of pure Waaagh!, but since I did several double postings, I’m not counting that one. And my final word total is…29,625 (and yes, I totalled today’s AFTER typing every word).

Enjoy a respite…of about 20 minutes, as I’m about to end this and start writing an exciting announcement/unveiling.