What I’m Playing

 

So, this weekend I have a Fantasy Football draft. Yes, it’s STUPIDLY early…frigging training camp hasn’t even started yet, but we’re gonna draft?!?! No, nobody will get screwed by injuries before the season even starts! Makes PERFECT sense…if you strap on a tin foil hat in the morning before hopping on the short bus.

Anyway, I’ve been doing a few ten team mock drafts just to get the brain cranked up for judging others. Well, my brain is ALWAYS amped for judgment, but not for CONSTRUCTIVE judgment of athletes. So, yes, mock drafts…basically, you join with a bunch of other people and do a fake draft to practice for your real draft…which is also fake. Truly, if you find yourself regularly participating in mock drafts, rest assured that you have achieved a special level of loserdom.

And the PINNACLE of loserdom in this whole thing…trash talking in a fucking mock draft. I don’t know who these dickless retards are but it might be the most goddamn pathetic thing that I have ever seen. What the Hell are you talking smack over?! You’re literally trash talking for outdoing others AT LITERALLY NOTHING. I have seen the following things spoken…

“My team TOTALLY kicks all your asses!”

“HA! My pick RULEZ!”

“I win!”

Yes indeed, you are all victors in picking a team that will VANISH AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE THE DRAFT WINDOW, YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS! Please begin dining on ground glass. You can stop when you start bleeding massively.

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