The Long Municipal Nightmare Is Over!

Yes, a decision has actually been made about the Edmonton Municipal Airport…not just more blathering and talk of nebulous ‘studies’ and ‘concepts’ before everyone scurries back to pretending they had anything else to do in their utterly spineless day. And the decision is…close down one of the runways and develop that section of land, and shut down commercial air traffic at that time. It’s a choice that actually makes sense, which is why I’m so completely and utterly baffled to see it come out of Edmonton City Council’s chambers.

Oh, there are the naysayers of course. Tony Caterina is having a little hissy fit, saying Edmonton is not acting like a capital city and thinking of the province. Note to Tony : You’re a fucking CITY COUNCILMAN. It’s YOUR JOB to think OF THE CITY. Of course, you’re the halfwit who brought this issue to the fore in the first place, and one suspects a fair amount of bitter resentment on your part since your reasoning was to argue for EXPANSION of the airport’s commercial service. Hope you’ve enjoyed what will probably be your one and only term, you retarded failure. And Cal Nicholls and his rich guy crybaby club are whimpering that “Now, we’ll have to get our drivers to drive us to the International! It’s not FAIR!” No, what wasn’t FAIR, Cal, was douchebag jagoffs like you and your buddies expecting everyone else to subsidize your little personal aerodrome. And considering the private flights will still be allowed on the runway that is to remain open for the time being, chances are your whining bitchiness won’t actually be for anything until they finally close that one, something I suspect may not happen until your useless corpse is rotting in the ground. Fuck you.

Nice try with the fearmongering “Think of the MEDEVAC flights!” though…that was a well played, if thoroughly ridiculous, card. Is it a concern? Of course. Will it lead to deaths by the dozen? No. Stop using fear as a way to bankroll your little private air fleet…it’s despicable and it’s so utterly transparent that I suspect any credit you had built up with the people of Edmonton for helping to keep the Oilers here now probably amounts to a warm mouthful of spit, something I sincerely hope I get to witness many people spew in your general direction on multiple occasions, you worthless codger.

And, memo to the people of the Northern communities…butt the fuck out. Last I checked, transportation was a Federal government issue, and Medevac flights were the responsibility of our Provincial aristocracy (speaking of which…am I the only one in the tin foil hat brigade who sensed some shenanigans with the sudden and abrupt closing of several hospital helipads in the run up to the vote? Transport Canada has said it was not a decision made at the Federal level and that it was not warranted, and this IS a government that has done plenty of moping and pouting about any thought of having to…GASP…drive to the International to take a flight. Closing those helipads played right in to the fearmongering bullshit about scores of deaths from medevac patients not being able to get here in time). It’s not up to the City of Edmonton to ensure you whiners get ready access to a downtown airport in their city. And as for the claims that business will magically dry up and run to Calgary because of the time it takes to get from the International to city center…take a look at a map sometime. You know what I notice? Calgary is rather far away. Any extra time you are making up by not having to tackle that ARDUOUS journey up Highway 2 is going to be matched by the extra flight time needed to reach Calgary’s airport you stupid fucks.  Yes, business is always down with spending money to relocate for ZERO TANGIBLE BENEFIT.

And if I hear one more insane comparison to Toronto and London…hey, morons, you know what those cities have in common? They dwarf yours! Let me make this clear…Edmonton will never, NEVER, be as big as London or Toronto. It will not happen. Period.

And enough with the fucking talk of it as an historical location! Look, can you keep the Air Museum and erect some other monument to the history there? Of course! Do you get to keep an entire goddamn airport open because someone who died 50 years ago used to land here? No. It’s stupid. Luckily, this inane argument will die out soon when the brigade of the aged that carry it are gone.

And NOBODY is allowed to refer to an airport as ‘a jewel’. Breathtaking monuments can be referred to in that way. A municipal airport is not a breathtaking monument unless they build a loop-de-loop in one of the runways, a la those hot wheels slot car race tracks. You give me a looping runway, you can call your airport a jewel.

I have utterly no idea how to end this, so I’m just going to make an abrupt s