Run, the Sea Kittens are Loose!

Aaaah, PETA. They go on and on about how they’re helping animals, but then they spend the donations well meaning people have sent to them on getting that societal sage known as Pamela Anderson to say “Fur coats are BAD” and sending out commando teams of society’s uber geniuses to ‘rescue’ lab animals who have never lived in the wild, and so are brutally slaughtered within minutes by anything tougher than a stiff breeze.

Or, maybe they decide to COMPLETELY lose their fucking minds, and they produce…this.

No, I am not linking to the stupid commercial they did with women basically pleasuring themselves with vegetables. They clearly did it for the free publicity since there was no goddamn way in Hell it was ever going to be broadcast, so fuck them…if you want to see it, go find it yourself.

This is something different. If you don’t have a Google Reader account, you didn’t see when I shared this bit of wisdom there, and I decided I may as well just tell everyone to “Look, look, the retards have soiled themselves again!”

PETA are upset that people are still eating fish. Problem is, fish are slimy and smelly and not very pleasant creatures…how to make people stop wanting to eat them? Wait! I HAVE IT! We’ll REBRAND fish! Yes, no longer are they to be called fish…they are now SEA KITTENS! I swear to whatever deity you wish that I am not making this up. Hell, I COULDN’T make this up! A tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist who collects his own stool in jars to keep the Government from reading his thoughts through his fecal matter couldn’t make this shit up!

These people go on and on and on in the media about how nobody takes them seriously…and then they come up with a brainstorm like this?! Do you jackasses not understand why an organization that decides to REBRAND FISH and SPEND DONATED FUNDS TO DO SO might NOT be taken seriously by the general public? You want to help animals…that’s great! Build some animal shelters, help raise awareness of environmental issues that affect them, you know…THINGS THAT MAKE SENSE! Stop using your time and resources on Sea Kittens and asking the Green Bay Packers to pretty please change the name of the franchise to the 6 Packers (Since Packers refers to meat packing…MUCH better to rename a franchise around alcohol!). Stop asking ice cream companies to make their product from human breast milk (so…let me get this straight…it’s bad to take milk from a baby animal’s mom, but apparently it’s cool to do that to a baby human? NOT at ALL hypocritical!) Hey, some Swiss dude did it, so let’s ALL do it! Well, the Swiss also allowed the Nazis to hoard stolen art, money and the gold ripped from people’s teeth…should we all follow THAT example as well?! Stop asking cities to change their names because they sound ‘meaty’…Hamburg, New York PROBABLY got it’s name because of GERMAN SETTLERS, bot because they fry up a live cow on a daily basis! Fishkill, New York is called that because the town was founded by the Dutch, and in Dutch that means FISH CREEK. I learned that in 2 minutes, what the fuck is wrong with you retards?! Stop re-branding fish as sea kittens, using ‘Sea Kitten Facts’ like this one…

Sea kittens talk to each other through squeaks, squeals, and other low-frequency sounds that humans can only hear through special instruments. Most ichthyologists—scientists who specialize in sea kitten biology—agree that this is just about the cutest thing ever. -taken verbatim from the site. Yes, I’ve heard it’s popular in the scientific community to measure something on the Adorability Index.

…to ‘back’ your sheer stupidity. Stop asking the NFL to give Michael Vick a brainscan! First off, it’s a waste of time…we all know there is nothing in his head but an echo. Secondly, doesn’t it strike anyone as a bit ODD that an organization supposedly against cruelty and against their will SEES NOTHING WRONG WITH ASKING FOR THE SAME FUCKING THING IN THIS CASE! Did NOBODY at that office of Mensa graduates stop and realize that this JUST KINDA contradicts what they CLAIM to stand for?!

Then again, let’s look at some of the Forum (oh yes, there are forums!) entries these mental rejects have typed in…

As long as public schools serve children milk and chopped-up animals for lunch, students will disrespect life. School shootings are a testament how well children learn respect, responsibility, and love from those they trust to care for them

Yep, school shootings have nothing to do with psychopaths and people with mental issues…it’s all cause we keep shoving meat down their throats and have perverted their sense of what’s right and wrong!

Hey guys, I’ve been a vegan since I was 16 years old, after I decided I did’nt want to live off another animals pain. I recently rescued a cat from the pound. I don’t want to participate in the consumption of any meat, so I’ve been trying to get the cat to eat a diet of soy based substitutes but it just sniffs them a walks away.

Couldn’t possibly be because CATS ARE CARNIVOROUS! You’re all for stopping cruelty against animals, yet from the responses to this dingbat apparently I am to gather that forcing a CARNIVOROUS ANIMAL to adjust it’s dietary habits to products it’s digestive tract isn’t built for is JUST FINE thanks.

did you know deoderant (some types) have bever genitals in it
its called castor oil, look it up if you want to

Last I checked, Castor oil came from CASTOR BEANS…and I’m pretty sure that isn’t a weird euphemism for ‘Beaver sack’. This jackass actually had a link to his MySpace page. He’s 19, and in college…and he spells like that…and from all the ‘The world is a pointless existence’ doom and gloom gothy bullshiI waded through on there , I’m guessing he’s an arts student…with spelling like that. I look forward to telling you how I’d like my steak prepared in 10 years, you walking waste of cum.

Polyurethane is just as destructive as real leather. Dressing like a murderer is just as reprehensible as being one. If you’re gunna wear it, you might as well wear the real stuff.

This was in response to someone asking of pleather is okay. Apparently you may as well go butcher a herd of cows, you sacrilegious monster! Speaking of which…if fake leather is the root of evil, what does that say about one the greatest mysteries of the cosmos…why are faux meat products formed and prepared to look and taste LIKE MEAT. If you don’t WANT to eat meat, why demand your replacements taste like it?!

I was wondering if anyone had tips on humanely helping spiders leave my house. I tried the tips in the cockroach article, but it doesn’t seem to work on spiders. The ones I catch I put out in the garden, but there are just too many now and they get in my bed and get accidentally rolled on by me when I’m sleeping…

…yeah…uhhh…your biggest concern in life is making sure you don’t roll over on to a spider? Really? There are really no words to describe someone with their head obviously rammed this deep in to their own anal crevasse.

The 27th of January this year it was 64 years ago Auschwitz was released. It just made me think of how they treated people different back then, total rascism. Like some people were worth more than others, which is just idiotical.

Then I got to a point where I thought it remembered me of all the fish out there..

Yep…Hitler shoving Jews in the oven like a fat guy with a bread addiction…people eating fish (sorry, SEA KITTENS. I can’t believe he wasn’t reprimanded!)…basic moral equivalency there.

Anyway, having decided I would force myself to wade in to each and every forum section to find another example of mental defect (and believe me, it hasn’t taken long), I believe I have found my clinchers. Much like with my blasting of the religious wing nuts waiting for the world to burn, I must thank PETA’s ultra-reactionary types for giving me gems to clinch this mofo (actually, it’s interesting noticing the similarities between the freakshow denizens of Rapture Ready and the carnival attraction members of PETA)…these are, of course, regarding the plane crash in to the Hudson River not that long ago…

Everyone makes a hero out of the pilot. Noone is talking abount the cruelty to birds as they get sucked into a plane engine?

Yep…because pilots AIM for birds…and, you know, the entire aircraft and air travel industry doesn’t make every precaution possible TO AVOID THEM.

Karma will dictate in the end just as most planes that kill birds end up crashing themselves.

I’m sure you’ll be SHOCKED to learn that this is the same genius from that first quote about meat=school shootings. Nice. By the way, what does karma say about people who seem to be all for the destruction of their fellow man?