Dec 182008
As thought of by the minds of the Cyanide & Happiness web comic, an…err…’new’ version of Twas the Night Before Christmas.
That is all.
A Donkey Punch to the Concept of Decency
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I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
— George S. Patton
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Post Archive
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- September 2010 (3)
- August 2010 (43)
- 31: Contact from abroad! (3)
- 30: Amusement! Frivolity! Laughter! (1)
- 30: The raw feed (2)
- 29: Tales of Jake (feat. Kelly Harll) (9)
- 28: What the Hell is Empire Avenue? (0)
- 27: The downsides of familiarity (4)
- 27: What I’m watching – Dead Snow (4)
- 26: Victory for evil! (3)
- 25: The wonderful world of shared self interest (6)
- 24: Why I love games/Why I hate gamers (2)
- 23: A dad cooking primer (6)
- 22: Why did those guys rape that furniture? I find their motivations very unclear. (0)
- 22: Confirmation of mortality (4)
- 21: A show that was doomed from the start – Action (3)
- 20: People’s quest for fame. (5)
- 19: Return of the gaming! (0)
- 19: My first draft recap (5)
- 19: Are you going to bless us with a post about Brett Favre? (0)
- 18: What I’m Watching – In the Loop (0)
- 17: Whitest Kids U’Know sketch that hath amused me (2)
- 17: Me (7)
- 16: Let’s invent a round object we can use for transportation! (2)
- 15: If you could cash in your Empire Avenue portfolio/bank for cold hard cash, what would you spend it on? (0)
- 15: Nationalizing tragedy (2)
- 14: Hot MMO Action…Kind of (5)
- 13: Bands that opened up my eyes (1)
- 12: 2010 NFL Picks – AFC (1)
- 12: The post that wasn’t there (0)
- 11: Dad (14)
- 10: Star Trek or Star Wars? (0)
- 10: 2010 NFL Picks – NFC (2)
- 09: Social media makes companies bitches (9)
- 08: Movie you have to see – Black Dynamite (5)
- 07: What TV show do you wish would go off the air for good? (6)
- 07: A couple of gaming annoyances (2)
- 06: What do you think is your most attractive feature? (4)
- 06: The horrible truth exposed by Wikileaks (3)
- 05: If you won a $1,000 shopping spree for any store, which store would you pick? (14)
- 05: Uncluttering (7)
- 04: Do you believe in luck? (2)
- 04: Surveying the challenge field (8)
- 03: Let the games begin – More road trip stories (12)
- 02: On the eve of competition (2)
- July 2010 (32)
- 30: Who would win in a fight – skeltons or imbeciles? (1)
- 29: Who would win in a fight: pirates or ninjas? (3)
- 29: What’s your favorite movie quote? (7)
- 28: What I’m Watching – Whitest Kids U’Know (0)
- 27: How many unarmed men are needed to take down one grizzly bear? (5)
- 27: One week to go, then the Challenge ensues! (15)
- 26: What’s the worst show on TV? (0)
- 26: Facebook UPDATED (4)
- 25: What I’m Watching – Green Zone (5)
- 25: Why is DRM so awesome? (0)
- 24: Crysis – Why graphics aren’t everything (5)
- 23: If you could only play one computer game for the rest of your life. Which one do you pick? (13)
- 23: Stalactite or stalagmite? Which is better and why? (0)
- 22: What is the wind velocity of a sparrow carrying a coconut? (1)
- 22: Summer blogging challenge…THE RETURN! (12)
- 21: King Arthur play through is back again (2)
- 19: What I’m playing – Alien Swarm (5)
- 19: The final blog change (0)
- 18: Take some away, put more in (2)
- 17: What’s with the obsession with the famous? (4)
- 16: Ch-ch-changes! (7)
- 15: The transition to being Uncle Cliff (12)
- 14: Taking some more time for my stuff (4)
- 14: South Korean Terminators on the way & awesome video (4)
- 12: Thoughts from the road (3)
- 08: If Games had a Super Easy Mode (1)
- 07: Mixed Feelings at the end of Metro 2033 (2)
- 05: Unique Colorado car crash (2)
- 03: Greatest action scene ever recorded! (8)
- 02: Man kills wife (0)
- 01: Vlad and Kelly are dangerous terrorists!!! (2)
- 01: Riding a wave of Violent Aggression (2)
- June 2010 (39)
- 29: Team Fortress 2 goddamn dirt cheap today (2)
- 28: What I’m watching – Band of Brothers (0)
- 27: Wheaton/Skalzi story FINIT! (3)
- 26: Navigating the waters of another insane Steam sale – Part 3. (0)
- 25: Navigating the waters of another insane Steam sale – Part 2 (4)
- 24: Navigating the waters of another insane Steam sale – Part 1 (0)
- 22: More Naughty Bear goodness (0)
- 20: Disney pimping pep pills to kids (0)
- 19: Thinking about oilsands (2)
- 19: Dale Peterson rides again (2)
- 18: Bringin’ the Funny Back! (0)
- 17: E3 Wrap Up – Ranking the big players & other stuff (2)
- 17: E3 Day 4 – Games, GAMES! (0)
- 16: E3 Day 3 – The Games Part 2 (0)
- 16: E3 Day 3 – The Games Part 1 (0)
- 15: Day two E3 thoughts – Nintendo (0)
- 15: Day two E3 thoughts – Sony (0)
- 14: Day one E3 thoughts – Kinect looks okay, EA has some decent stuff coming, what is in the water at Ubisoft??? (2)
- 14: Delayed Twitter warning/apology (2)
- 13: Creepy Watson (4)
- 12: I hate gamers (3)
- 11: Game I want NOW – Naughty Bear (1)
- 11: BP reacts to coffee spill/Ralph Macchio means it up (0)
- 10: What I’m playing – Team Fortress 2 (2)
- 09: Next King Arthur post is up…elsewhere. (0)
- 09: Mock ze spammer! (0)
- 08: A bit of a change for King Arthur (0)
- 07: Some more thoughts on Green Lantern (0)
- 07: Left 4 Nick (2)
- 06: Getting my geek house in order (0)
- 05: Green Man Gaming debacle (0)
- 05: Ugandan Pastor gets a little too graphic with his anti homosexuality speech, which I find inappropriately hilarious (0)
- 04: Greatest drummer EVAR! (0)
- 04: Empire Avenue so far (0)
- 03: New Canadian copyright law drops… (0)
- 02: The Blackest Night – thoughts, impressions, complaints, stuff (1)
- 02: GoDaddy GO AWAY (0)
- 01: Thar be stupid folk! (0)
- 01: Funny shit (3)
- May 2010 (28)
- 31: Wil Wheaton/John Scalzi fan fiction contest…is anyone else in? (2)
- 31: Another Cliff first – I get banned. Yay! (8)
- 29: What I’m Watching – Cowboy up! (3)
- 29: The face of the tea party…what a guy! (1)
- 28: It’s a mashup post! (0)
- 28: Superman arrives to quell BP’s wrath! (0)
- 27: Tetris the Movie (0)
- 27: Orson Welles is awesome. Drunk Orson is even better. (5)
- 27: Canada’s Industry Minister has also broken our antiquated copyright laws (0)
- 26: America asked for their ideas, responds with immaturity and hilariousness (0)
- 26: Some thoughts on Green Lantern (2)
- 24: What I’m watching : Crazy Heart (2)
- 24: Interesting free basic strategy game (2)
- 22: Cause everyone needs a great sword! (7)
- 22: From Cornwall with Love : The Legend of Arthur (0)
- 22: AWESOME movie news…UFO related!!! UPDATED (4)
- 21: Chinese Pollution (0)
- 21: New Canadian copyright bill looming. Oh fucking joy. (0)
- 19: The Saga of Arthur Begins (0)
- 19: Ladies and gentlemen, your Southern cliche of the year (0)
- 18: Stupid twit blames Rogers for her affair (7)
- 17: Don’t Drunk Dial FreedomWorks (0)
- 17: King Arthur, content and Empire Avenue (0)
- 16: Iron Man IV : part Iron Man, part Rocky, all AWESOME (0)
- 15: New Iron Sky footage! (0)
- 15: Prepare for a medieval deluge! (0)
- 14: What I’m Watching – Bitch Slap (3)
- 05: What I’m Watching – 44 Inch Chest (2)
- April 2010 (4)
- March 2010 (13)
- 29: Two more fantastic Adult Swim games. (2)
- 24: The Zombie Flowchart (5)
- 22: Neptune’s Pride fades in to the ether (10)
- 21: Hey, you got your Neptune in my Pride! (0)
- 20: Pride of Neptunes (0)
- 19: Pride & Neptune & Me (0)
- 18: Still gittin’ Neptuney wit it (0)
- 17: Neptune still Prideful (6)
- 16: Neptune’s Pride is My Downfall (1)
- 16: Robot Unicorn Attack! (0)
- 11: First really cool ‘event’ regarding ‘the other site’ (2)
- 07: Fun with the Swedish Armed Forces! (0)
- 02: Weird Lady Shit (5)
- February 2010 (8)
- 25: Can all irrational fanboi types be put to death? PLEASE? (1)
- 16: Smug much? (11)
- 13: The Opening Ceremonies (3)
- 10: Dungeons & Dragons’ Evil Has Been Confirmed! (1)
- 07: Scott Feschuk’s Liveblog of Super Bowl 44 (3)
- 07: Super Bowl 44 (0)
- 04: Super Bowl Predictions (4)
- 04: David Motherfuckin’ Mamet (7)
- January 2010 (12)
- 28: Hey Hey, it’s Cliffy’s New Project! (6)
- 26: We’re not racist, but… (8)
- 22: A Response to Misinformation (0)
- 21: Conference Championship Game Picks (2)
- 21: Sexual Harassment? Hilarity! (0)
- 18: Bibleman is Gloriously Funny (2)
- 15: Hmmm…Maybe We Should Try Some Of That ‘Common Sense’? (2)
- 15: German Industrial Standards Apparently Quite Lax (0)
- 14: NFL Divisional Playoffs Predictions (3)
- 08: Crayon Physics Deluxe Dirt Cheap (2)
- 04: Bring On the Playoffs! (19)
- 02: A New Year, A New App! (1)
- December 2009 (7)
- 28: I Be Champion! Recognize, Bitches! (1)
- 22: The Shiva Bowl (0)
- 19: Good Old Fashioned Funny Racism (1)
- 14: Reclaim My Time (6)
- 07: Playing With Tech (4)
- 03: How Does This Shit Always Happen To Me?! (7)
- 01: Maybe Liam’s Right…Maybe Mickey Rourke IS Awesome! (2)
- November 2009 (4)
- 30: Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel (1)
- 20: Nice Seeing Project’s Name in Lights (5)
- 18: So, what be new? (0)
- 03: Them’s Some Classy Jokes…New One on Bottom (12)
- October 2009 (6)
- 24: It’s ALIVE! ALIVE! (0)
- 13: The Week 5 NFL Report of Mockery – NFC Edition (14)
- 13: The 5 Weeks NFL Report (aka Cliff Mocks the Weak!) – AFC Edition (1)
- 10: Northern Horde are 3-1! (3)
- 05: Translation Party (3)
- 05: Welcome to Some Kind of Podcast! (1)
- September 2009 (11)
- 30: October Newsletter (0)
- 18: Week Two for The Horde (9)
- 17: Command in Arma 2 (0)
- 13: A Word-Blackened Soul (8)
- 09: Don’t Copy That Floppy Returns! (4)
- 07: NFL 2009 Predictions (11)
- 07: A Quick Lamentation (4)
- 05: THE Northern Horde (0)
- 04: Arma 2 Redux (28)
- 02: The Newest Niece (5)
- 01: September RYG Newsletter (5)
- August 2009 (19)
- 29: Northern Horde…This Time It’s Personal (4)
- 25: First Draft of the Year! (6)
- 22: Yo…Joe…Fuck. (4)
- 18: The Continuing Saga of Eaner Pantalon (Saga III) (8)
- 18: Quick Update (0)
- 14: Want…to…beat…with…hammers…!!! (10)
- 13: Ethan Albright Strikes Back! Well…Sorta… (0)
- 12: Canadian Copyright Concerns (3)
- 11: Violent Aggression Curb Stomping the Innocent! (9)
- 10: The Merciful Sound of Silence! (0)
- 09: Odds and Ends (4)
- 07: Eaner Pantalon Strikes Back (Saga II) (2)
- 06: A Piss of Clarity All Up In Yo Grill (12)
- 05: Saga of Eaner Pantalon I (12)
- 05: Huxley, We Have a Problem! (4)
- 03: Mario & Princess Peach…AFTER the Rescue (2)
- 03: A Refreshed Enthusiasm (5)
- 02: Hey Look, I’se Can Write Stuff! (6)
- 02: Frustrations Melting Down (9)
- July 2009 (26)
- 31: Epic Failure (4)
- 30: Of Best Laid Plans… (0)
- 30: Jim “The Hammer” Shapiro, Attorney at Law (4)
- 30: Preparing The Field (3)
- 28: Sharing the Carnage (2)
- 28: Aging Angrily One Day at a Time (10)
- 27: For The Emperor! (12)
- 26: Violent Agression Rises Again! (15)
- 25: Why Didn’t Someone Tell Me?! (4)
- 24: I Have No Identity! (2)
- 23: So, Where’s the Writing Been? (2)
- 22: Hey, there’s WORDS on these pages! (9)
- 22: Pure Genius! (2)
- 21: Crack For Sale! Crack For Sale! (0)
- 20: Dear Barack…Go Away For a Week (0)
- 19: Edmonton’s Sports Myopia (1)
- 18: All Aboard The Jesus Train! (8)
- 17: Go Forth Retarded Commandos! (1)
- 16: Hey Look, Tits in the Mail! (7)
- 15: Today’s Frustration (0)
- 14: The Long Municipal Nightmare Is Over! (4)
- 13: Beta Testing Causes Murder (7)
- 12: The Podcast is Over (0)
- 11: The Selling Of Michael Jackson (13)
- 10: IT BEGINS! (2)
- 09: My Pal Satan (1)
- June 2009 (3)
- 24: Buzz Aldrin Turns Shit Up a Notch! (9)
- 19: Bring on the Stardom! (11)
- 12: HELLZ YEAH, BITCHES! Updated to Worship the Crossbar. (10)
- May 2009 (6)
- April 2009 (3)
- 18: Of Pirates and Copyright (3)
- 06: Another Interesting Game Find (0)
- 04: DRM Discussion (0)
- March 2009 (2)
- 24: Why We’re Pitiful (4)
- 03: Cribbing From Talent (2)
- February 2009 (2)
- 25: Stirring the Drudgery (5)
- 02: As the World Turns (12)
- January 2009 (10)
- 29: Like Sand Through the Hourglass, This is Our Parliament (3)
- 29: Run, the Sea Kittens are Loose! (5)
- 28: Watchin’ that there TV (3)
- 21: A new undertaking! How…well, how boring really. (2)
- 21: Jesus returns, nobody notices (6)
- 19: The ‘Super’ Bowl (8)
- 10: More of ‘The Funny’ (2)
- 10: Another Interesting Game Find (6)
- 07: Who WOULDN’T Want Aids??? (2)
- 06: On the Retardation of Felines (7)
- December 2008 (13)
- 30: Holy Sweet Crap! (9)
- 24: A Little Housecleaning (25)
- 20: Jack Chick – Funniest Motherfucker Ever (6)
- 18: And Now For Some Christmas Cheer. (0)
- 16: It’s All Over But The Drunken Rage (4)
- 14: Misplaced Importance (1)
- 13: Bring Forth the Mead…and Playoffs! Uhhh…Playoffs First… (6)
- 04: And on the 14th Week, The Horde Doth Rest (1)
- 04: A More Rational View (4)
- 03: A Yuletide Tradition Continues (0)
- 02: Kinda Fun Flash Game (0)
- 02: PC Games of 2009 (0)
- 01: What the Hell is Going On?! (2)
- November 2008 (22)
- 30: Shit Rolling Down A Hill Of Shit Just Gets Shittier (0)
- 29: Broken Pixels (2)
- 29: Final Week…Everything Must Go! (0)
- 26: Is Mario Retarded? (7)
- 24: The Saga of Bloodninja (I can’t think of a better title, so okay then!) (3)
- 23: Wow. Just…wow. (0)
- 22: Something to Keep in Mind 2 : Love Really MUST Be Blind (0)
- 21: Time For a Comeback? Maybe Game of the Year. (0)
- 16: HANG YOUR HEADS IN SHAME! (1)
- 16: The Escapist : Video Galleries : de-rez : The Final Days of the Man Responsible for SecuROM (0)
- 16: Look, Ma, Not Every Goddamn Game is A $50, DRM-Riddled Disaster! (10)
- 14: Roadside Attraction: The Alternate History Theme Park Where Dinosaurs Fought in the Civil War (2)
- 14: Two Guys Walk in to a Bar…and The Horde Kills Them Both (0)
- 14: Bring On The Evolution…QUICKLY! (5)
- 09: Something to Keep in Mind (8)
- 09: Democracy Canceled as Horde Rampages (5)
- 09: The eyeballing game (3)
- 08: DESIGNER NOTES » Blog Archive » Game Developer Column 1: Seven Deadly Sins for Strategy Games (0)
- 05: Stupid Early Weeks! (2)
- 04: Steelers Win! (2)
- 04: Obama Wins! (0)
- 01: Roll a 20 to Win the Nation! (1)
- October 2008 (15)
- 31: Kicking Ass And Taking Tacos…Week 9 For the Horde (0)
- 30: Beating Those DRuMs To Bloody Death (4)
- 28: Geekly Mutterings, Laughing at Ubisoft, Fun With SecuROM (9)
- 26: Horde in the Lurch (2)
- 24: Preparations Underway for The Rapture (1)
- 19: It’s a Horde-Pede! (9)
- 18: Prepping The Horde (2)
- 13: Horde Update (0)
- 09: Rampaging Into Week 6 (2)
- 09: 100 Faces of War Experience (0)
- 09: 750,000 lost jobs? The dodgy digits behind the war on piracy: Page 1 (0)
- 08: Look, Ma, Them Big Talkers Be All On The TV Box! (6)
- 05: Raping Of The Horde (5)
- 03: The Horde Board the Landing Craft, Ready to Invade (5)
- 03: Claire Martin’s Vagina (2)
- September 2008 (13)
- 29: Captain! We’ve Reached Barrel Bottom! (11)
- 28: Avast, Ye Horde! Now With Fresh, Updated Material! (1)
- 28: DRuMbeats of War (0)
- 26: Horde Update (2)
- 26: Meet the Quarterback! (0)
- 23: Darth Raider is Somewhere Right Now, Drinking Away the Tears. (8)
- 21: Run! It’s the Horde! (9)
- 16: I………Liiiiiiiiive! (6)
- 14: The Horde Doth Rumble (7)
- 12: The Perpetual Motion Machine Straight to Hades (6)
- 10: Such a Wondrous Find Must be Shared! (7)
- 07: Running of the Horde (Updated) (3)
- 04: Nothing to See Here, it’s Just a Weather Balloon! (2)
- August 2008 (6)
- July 2008 (6)
- 29: Reflections on Past Selves (19)
- 24: In the Eye of a Hurricane (2)
- 15: Genesis of Gaming – The Batman Trials (10)
- 14: Rollins Approaches (8)
- 08: The Green Zone (3)
- 05: Cliff’s Gaming Update (15)
- June 2008 (9)
- 25: A Quick Bite of Info, and a Roll of the Dice (20)
- 21: The Deification of Bill (4)
- 20: Well, Look at That (1)
- 18: Sir Schmoopy of Awesometon (0)
- 17: Every Time I’m OUT…They Pull Me Back IN! …Oh look, an update!!! (3)
- 13: Hey Hey, it’s an Update! (0)
- 04: More Video Hilarity! (4)
- 03: Full Metal Jacket & Santa’s Elves (3)
- 02: Look out! Zombies! (5)
- May 2008 (9)
- 31: Will Someone PLEASE Have the Hilary Put Down? She’s Acting Up Again. Now With New Bonus Mockery! (7)
- 29: The Long Search Was Actually a Midget (10)
- 25: Know Your Geography? (8)
- 23: World…errr…Out of Conflict? (10)
- 21: Japanese Bug Fights (4)
- 20: This Lunatic Fringe is Big League White Hot!!! (10)
- 17: Welcome to Killing a Few Spare Minutes! (6)
- 17: The Nightmare Ends as Morning Dawns (0)
- 06: This is Only a Drill. No Need to Panic. (4)
- April 2008 (10)
- 27: Decisions, Decisions. (13)
- 24: More Trials, Bonus Tribulations! (8)
- 22: For Your Amusement… (4)
- 20: Alberta ADVANTAGE?! We seem to have misplaced that item… (14)
- 20: Sweet Merciful Crap…Technology! (9)
- 17: Worst Acting in a Commercial…EVER! (6)
- 08: Wasted Charity and a Need to Vent (14)
- 07: Questioning the Elders (12)
- 07: All Along the Watchtower (6)
- 06: From His Cold Dead Hand… (6)
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What I’m Reading
Cliff's bookshelf: currently-reading
by Neil Strauss
Read about the drug, booze and skank soaked exploits of a dirty rock band from the 80's. Also read how a group of dudes who never really grew up drive each other to those drugs and booze, and frequently punch one another in the face.
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