Peer Pressure Works!

Well, it’s over. A 16 point loss has ended the season of the Horde. Sure, there’s the 3rd place game this weekend, but I really just don’t give a shit. Who cares about 3rd or 4th place? It’s not like there are fucking medals for anything but the win, so it’s just pointless. If I’m not first, it doesn’t matter.

REALLY close game, and seeing as the Horde scored about 580 points, I really can’t fault anybody. Sure, there were a couple of disappointing performances, but it was a good effort all around and it was close, so I just can’t work myself up in to any sort of indignant rage over it.

I figure I’ll do kind of a quick season wrap-up and get that over with, then just forget about this total disaster of a stretch drive…

Season MVP : This is actually a really tough call. A few weeks ago, it would have been a cakewalk for Clinton Portis, but trying to play with about 16,527 different injuries has limited him, as has the Redskins offense becoming a unit about as effective as the Senate. Still, my QBs sort of shared the starting gig, the receivers were too inconsistent, and as much as I want to name James Harrison, he didn’t score as many points as any of the big boys on offense. So, I guess it still IS Portis. After all, it’s hardly his fault he got bashed to shit, and he kept playing through it (unlike a certain OTHER running back on my roster who will be named VERY shortly!) and putting up something. So Clinton Portis it is!

Season LVP : Steven fucking Jackson. Let me put my feelings about this dipshit this way…I now despise this guy in reality. I WANT him to fail. I loathe him (and I actually kind of liked him as a player previously), and hate his team (the Rams) more than I ever did before. This guy and his Vaginal Pull or Tweaked Breast or whatever the fuck it was that kept him out of half the fucking games this year (it was actually a groin pull. A fucking GROIN PULL keeps you OUT for 6 WEEKS?! Change your name to Bitch this very instant you walking affront to testosterone!) absolutely crippled the offense. He wasn’t putting up MASSIVE numbers prior, but he was consistently putting up solid production. Fuck you, Steven Jackson.

Biggest Surprise : Philip Rivers. When I saw him sitting there in Round 18, I was surprised and quickly grabbed him. I figured he’d be a solid backup QB who could step in for a few games when Big Ben was playing a nasty defense or on his Bye week. Instead, he’s been one of the best QB’s in the entire NFL. He may be an arrogant douchebag, but I like him goddammit. Runner up for this is LenWhale…I never dreamed that guy would be leading the league in TDs.

Biggest Letdown : I hate you, Steven fucking Jackson!

Best Draft Pick : Rivers. Come on, In the 18th ROUND of a 25 round draft I got one of the best QBs in the league this year. As much as I LOVE The Polish Hammer (now, I already liked Posluszny, but since having him on my team I have become a BIG fan of this guy!) and the fact I was able to snag him in Round 24, it’s Rivers.

Worst Draft Pick : I hate you, Steven fucking Jackson!

Reason We Fell Short : At first I wanted to chalk it up to the Boldin for Addai trade. Thing is, I sort of went back and did a little figuring, and even WITH Boldin on the roster, this team STILL would have collapsed down the stretch. It was just a ridiculous run of injuries and poor play all happening at once. Addai was playing hurt, Portis was playing hurt, Jackson is a bitch…that sort of decimated the running back position. Marshall gets banged up at the same time, and the Denver offense as a whole goes in to a tailspin which also renders Matt Prater ineffective. The same issues cripple any scoring from Santana Moss down the stretch. Tight End was a goddamn disaster area ALL year…inconsistency and injury from Tony Scheffler, then the same from Kellen Winslow. The entire offense started to tumble (at the same time as the entire defense actually started scoring points consistently as a unit). It all joined up for a frustrating, infuriating run of poor play and losses.

Looking Back at the Draft : I figured it would be kind of interesting to see how my draft looks NOW, looking back on it.

1. Steven Jackson  – I hate you, Steven fucking Jackson. Obviously, I didn’t think the Rams would be AS bad as they are, or he doesn’t go here. Actually, though, looking at the majority of 1st rounder,s he doesn’t look THAT bad…Tomlinson, Brady, Addai, Jones-Drew and Moss?

2. Clinton Portis – No qualms with this choice at all…especially since the two guys taken before him were Ryan Grant and Chad Johnson.

3. Ben Roethlisberger – Thanks to attempts and completions scoring points, he hasn’t had a bad year. CERTAINLY better than the other guy I was considering here before he was taken 3 picks before I was up…Carson Palmer.

4. Anquan Boldin – No second guesses of this one at all.

5. Brandon Marshall – Considering he’s playing in a bad leg, he’s had a good year. His inconsistency has been maddening, though.

6. Jonathan Stewart – Ugh. This is the first REALLY embarrassing choice. I really thought he’d be Carolina’s #1 back. Considering that Selvin Young had just gone off the board, though, maybe it’s not THAT bad (backs were getting a little thin).

7. Santana Moss – Still quite surprised he was here in Round 7. I actually strongly considered taking him a round earlier.

8. Tony Scheffler – Huh, I’d forgotten what bile tastes like. Awful selection. 6 catches for 70 yards and a TD one week, 1 catch for 6 yards the next…then he got hurt.

9. LenDale White – In round 9 I got the guy who’s scored the most touchdowns in the NFL. ZERO complaints.

10. Lofa Tatupu – Everyone else started grabbing defenders, so I jumped on the train. Of course, this ends up being Tatupu’s worst year ever.

11. Marcus Trufant – Disastrous year. He stopped getting tackles, he couldn’t cover ANYONE…this guy has probably had the worst year of anyone I drafted.

12. D.J. Williams – An absolute tackle MACHINE before he got hurt. This guy was having a flat out great season. Happy with this pick.

13. Vincent Jackson – Nice player, but still too inconsistent to play regularly. He has had a nice year, though, and was a good guy to have in reserve. I’m hardly going to complain about getting a guy with 50 catches, 700 yards and 7 or 8 TD grabs in Round 13.

14. James Harrison – He’s probably taken the lead in the race to be named NFL Defense Player of the Year. There were MAYBE 2 weeks when he didn’t put up points. Consistent devastating playmaker.

15. Kerry Rhodes – Really inconsistent, but he had enough ‘up’ weeks for me to be content with taking him here.

16. Gerald Hayes – Got a fair number of tackles…AFTER I released him.Clearly he hates my guts.

17. Reggie Nelson – Like almost every other member of the Jaguars, just an awful year.

18. Philip Rivers – The pick I’m most proud of. Let me list the other players taken in round 18…Rudi Johnson, David Garrard, Julian Peterson, Donte Whitner, Rodney Harrison, Chris Harris, Jake Delhomme, Jeff Garcia, Julius Jones, Aaron Rodgers and Justin Tuck. Now, Rodgers has been fantastic, Delhomme pretty solid, and Peterson, Whitner and Tuck have put up nice numbers on D. Rodgers and Delhomme, though, are the only 2 who scored anything CLOSE to Rivers’ numbers. Hell, Rudi Johnson didn’t even have a TEAM when this draft happened and he went FIRST out of all these guys! Anyway, I do seem to have a penchant for finding one stud in late rounds…this year was Rivers, last year was Brandon Marshall for his 100 catch season.

19.  Justin Fargas – Pickings were pretty damn thin at running back at this point. And considering I WANTED Chris Perry here, this doesn’t look so bad (thanks for taking him instead of me, Vulcan).

20. Drew Bennett – 6′5″ and a new starter for a Rams team who looked like they’d have an okay offense. Wanna know his stats for the entire year, thanks to an injury? 1 catch for 4 yards. Yeah.

21. LaRon Landry – Really disappointing year. He was completely outplayed by the rookie at the other safety spot, Chris Horton.

22. Jeff Reed – Actually didn’t have a bad year, but Pittsburgh’s early struggles on offense made him an early cut.

23. Leon Hall – Basically the same as with Reed…just replace Pittsburgh with Cincinnati, and offense with defense.

24. Paul Posluszny – I anointed him The Polish Hammer. I don’t give nicknames to players I don’t like (unless of course they’re mean).

25. James Hardy – Well, it was the 4th pick from the draft’s end, so what the Hell? He’s 6′6″, and rumors were he’d be starting for Buffalo. I WANTED fucking Eddie Royal, but he was stolen from me.

So, from looking back, my late round picks flat out sucked a diseased dick. Luckily I was able to quickly grab some productive free agents to replace them.

Lessons learned : 1. DO NOT jump on defense just because everyone else is. Sure, if it’s to grab a guy like Patrick Willis, who is a monster points producer, that’s fine…then switch BACK to offense and load up!

2. Do NOT EVER draft a cornerback…stick with safeties as your DBs.

3. Steven Jackson is a complete nancy.

4. Avoid loading up on one or two teams unless you KNOW they’ll have a big time offense.

5. If the rules in this league are as ridiculous as they are now, take one big back then LOAD UP ON RECEIVERS.

Actually, next year looks interesting. With Tomlinson seeming to be aging quickly, there really is NO consensus #1 pick on Fantasy Football. That means that I will end up with Pick #1…I damn near guarantee it happens, actually.

Well, until next season, the Horde bid you all adieu.