Bring Forth the Mead…and Playoffs! Uhhh…Playoffs First…

It’s Week 2 of the playoffs, first game for the Horde. The match-up is with the Zoidbergs. They’re the #6 seed, and upset the #3 Arlington Atomics last week.

QB – With Ben facing the Ravens, it’s all about the Asswipe this week, as he faces the St. Peters Varsity, also known as the Kansas City Chiefs. Zoidbergs has MVP front runner Kurt Warner facing Minnesota, who I hope rag doll him so hard his wife dies. Even (though if she does die, we’re all winners).

RB – This is a little dicey, because several guys are questionable this week. First off, the miraculously NOT injured Steven Jackson. He played well last week, and against the equally ghastly Seattle Seahawks he might actually get a full workload. Washington’s Clinton Portis is also in. I kinda like the fact he lipped off his coach, because he has to prove himself again this week. I also like that he’s playing the St. Mary’s Junior Varsity, also known as the Cincinnati Bengals. For the W/R position, IF Joseph Addai is good to go he plays, because they’re up against the Meredith Heights Pop Warner Also Rans, also known as the Detroit Lions. Otherwise, wideout DaVone Bess is probably slotting in there against the Niners.

Against that, Zoidbergs has Brian Westbrook primed to carve through the Browns defense as easily as a knife through Jon Benet Ramsey (whoa! Classic bad taste!). Detroit’s Kevin Smith should do decently against the Colts. Oddly, he has Arizona’s Tim Hightower against the Vikings, who are as easy to run against as Rosie O’Donnell is easy to stomach. IF Addai plays, advantage me on the basis of that final matchup.

Receiver – Zack Miller gets in the game against New England. Out wide, Moss is in against the Bengals, Brandon Marshall vs. Carolina and Vincent Jackson vs. KC. As already stated, if Addai can’t go, it’s DaVone Bess vs. Miami. If he CAN go, I actually might replace Marshall with Bess…we’ll see. He has Philly’s DeSean Jackson (Cleveland), Minnesota’s Bernard Berrian (Arizona) and the Saints Marques Colston, who already ripped the pathetic Bears Pass D for 44. At tight end, it’s Seattle’s John Carlson (St. Louis). Slight advantage me.

K – Matt Prater stays busy for Denver against the Panthers. For my opponent, San Diego’s Nate Kaeding should put up serious numbers against KC. Advantage Zoids.

Def – DJ Williams might play, but he’ll probably rotate in and out all game, so I’m keeping him on the bench. That leaves the usual crew. I see some opportunities for some serious smash mouth, smack down football games, which I’m hoping equals good numbers. Zoids has already HAD two guys go, and they put up 66. He also has some smash-mouth match-ups, though one of them, London Fletcher, is a game time decision. Slight advantage me.

Yahoo has him favored by 38. He’s also leading by 108. That doesn’t bode well. The way this time took it in the ass down the stretch, I’m not exactly feeling much in the way of faith that they’ll step it up now. I HOPE they do, but I don’t expect it whatsoever.