Preparations Underway for The Rapture

pThe Rapture being, you know, Week 8 and such./p pSo, first and foremost, ze roster moves! I’d been trying to see a workable deal where I’d send Dickhead to one of the QB needy teams for a fair return, but didn’t see anything of straight up value I could get. So, went to plan B…instead of trading Dickhead and replacing him with someone off waivers, I’ll just pick someone up and trade THEM. I promptly grabbed CFL veteran Jeff Garcia (who lost his job with Tampa for a man who threw ten interceptions in about 3 games…shockingly, he soon got it back), and offered him to the now 1-6 Bay Area Nightmares for receiver Muhsin Muhammad (cause wouldn’t you rather have the potential bomb-chucking jihadists on YOUR team? Just sayin). In response, the guy wanted to do something bigger. For Garcia and Anquan Boldin, he would give my Bomber Mo, fellow receiver Devery Henderson of the Saints, and QB Derek Anderson of the Browns./p pnbsp;/p pNow, the bigger trade, I was on board with…well, the idea, anyway. Henderson’s caught in that weird Saints receiving vortex where a guy can be a total monster for a week, then be 4th on the depth chart the next game. I swear, they draw names out of a damn hat to decide who plays. And Anderson’s horrific play is part of the reason the Nightmares are 1-6. So, I GRACIOUSLY offered to give up Boldin (great player, but he’s coming back from A FRACTURED SINUS! I find it hard to believe he’s going to be 100% ready to catch passes and take hits returning from an INTERNAL SKULL FRACTURE!) and Garcia for Bomber Mo and Indy running back Joseph Addai (remember that name? He was one of my pre-draft Top 5 or 6 guys. Has missed time with injury, but I think he could be a nice pickup for the stretch run) OR for a package of Mo, Henderson and Chicago tight end Greg Olsen. I figured, I’m getting deal 2…instead, he gives me deal one, saying he can’t lose Olsen as he’ll get creamed at the TE position. Every other running back the man has is sharing the job…but, okay, keep your tight end. Then again, this is a guy who traded his top runner AND receiver for a guy coming back from an injury and QB he could have had for nothing if he’d picked him up./p pSo, yeah, a bit odd, but I’m elated. Now, Addai is out this week, but I’m not sweating that too much. For other moves, with Denver on a Bye and Prater not available, I dumped Jeanty off my defensive bench for Buffalo’s Rian Lindell (who I’m kinda shocked was on the free agent wire). Then I unloaded Prater fornbsp; Rams linebacker Will Witherspoon, after realizing that DJ Williams would also be on a Bye week./p pThe matchup this week is against the 4-3 Zoidbergs./p pQB – Big Ben stays in against the Giants, which worries me a bit as his line has let him take a beating. My opponent has the Cards Kurt Warner against Carolina (though he has Matt Cassel on his bench, and seeing as he’s facing the creampuff Rams, I could see him making the shift). Advantage me, though not by much./p pRB – With no Addai yet, and with Steven Jackson being a game time decision due to injury, I am currently going with Portis (against the awful Lions, though banged up) and LenWhale (against a Colts team that is devoid of run defence). If Jackson does turn out to be ready to play, I may slide him in, as New England’s Run D hasn’t exactly been kicking ass. Zoidbergs have Tamps’ Earnest Graham, who is pretty much guaranteed to get the bulk of the work against a faltering Dallas run D with Warrick Dunn hurt, Detroit rook Kevin Smith against a tough Redskin squad, and Philly’s Brian Westbrook vs. Atlanta. I’m REALLY hoping Westbrook’s still sore coming off an injury. I’m assuming he is, so I’ll call this a draw./p pWR/TE – Moss stays in, Steve Breaston comes in (Carolina is tough on the run, so the Cards will have to throw, and I think he’ll get more time out there than Boldin) and Bryant against a decimated Cowboy secondary. And newcomer Bomber Mo against a Cardinal defence that hasn’t exactly covered like white on rice, and has a star wideout to worry about opposite Mo. At TE is Miller…against the Ravens, I basically expect nothing./p pMy rival has Marques Colston (stuck in that same Saints bizarro land. He’s normally awesome, but in his first week back since a week one injury LAST week, he was so awful they pulled him), Philly rookie DeSean Jackson, who should do well against Atlanta, Seattle TE John Carlson against the Niners (sort of looking at him and seeing he and Miller cancelling each other out with matching next-to-nothings). Then there’s Santonio Holmes. Normally, I’d be worried about him. However, he got himself busted driving whilst smoking a blunt. He’s suspended this week. Only sentient Doritos capable of feeling pain are concerned about Santa Ho right now. As of now, the only other receiver my opponent HAS who he can play is Philly’s Kevin Curtis. He hasn’t played yet this year, and if he does, it will be his first game back from sports hernia surgery. Advantage, moi./p pK – Lindell’s a great kicker, but Miami’s a tough matchup. That either means they shut the Bills down, and he gets no chances to score, or they just slow Buffalo down, and he gets tons of field goal opportunities. We’ll see. San Diego’s Nate Kaeding is ALSO a great kicker, and is facing a weaker New Orleans D, so he should get scoring chances. Advantage, Zoidbergs./p pDef – As for right now, my opposition has THREE spots on D manned by players on a Bye. His only backup is hurt for the year. Why the fuck doesn’t he drop that guy for someone else? Why doesn’t he do ANYTHING to try and fill those spots??? Jesus, when you DRAFT you can SEE the players’ BYE WEEKS to AVOID these situations. So, right now, advantage me./p pYahoo has me winning by 109. That’s a huge projected margin. If he actually does something about the 4 zeros he’s gonna take (the three D and Holmes), it’ll be closer. We’ll see./p