Hey, I just got o0ff a plan, and I’ve spent a couple of tired days playing with several small children who seem to be neverending fonts of energy. Then, I got driven home by a horrific cabbie. He drove in that leaned forward over the wheel position normally reserved for old ladies who should have been stripped of their license 10 years earlier. He felt that 85 was a good speed for a residential road, yet would slow to the point the speedometer wasn’t registering any forward motion when turning. He also believed in just slamming the brakes all at once…this gradual shit be for fools! You expected a better title, you can find one between my legs, just work it outta there with yer face.

Anyway, just prior to leaving, I made a couple of changes. After finding out that Dickhead’s receiving corpse was f’d up, I put in Head butt Frerotte at the QB spot. I also snagged Baltimore receiver Derrick Mason and put him in to the WR/RB spot over Stewart.

QB – Well, Dickhead had a great game (72 points). Frerotte actually was fairly good, putting up 48.5 points, which is more than I expected. I’m not that annoyed because his guy, Jason Campbell, crapped the bed with a shoddy 25 point performance.

RB – Jackson was okay again, with his usual 32. Portis was fantastic again, racking up 65. On the side of the Barbariens, Adrian Peterson underachieved with 26, while Ronnie Brown put up 40.

WR/TE – Mason scored a solid 25 (Stewart would have contributed a pitiful 14.5), Breaston had ANOTHER spectacular goddamn game with a 69 point performance, and Marshall bounced back big with 41 of his own. Moss disappointed for the second week in a row, with a team low (and unbelievably pathetic) 8.2. Of course, this week his QB struggled, unlike LAST week where every OTHER Washington receiver was a stud EXCEPT Moss. Newcomer Zach Miller had 13, which is disappointing because certifiable retard Vernon Davis managed to score 25. Outside of Roddy White’s fantastic 64, none of his other guys did a damn thing.

Kicker – For him, Gould had 40. For me, Prater only had 25.

D – BIG 50 point game for Jonathan Vilma for him, plus 41 for Marvin White and 32 for Mike Brown. However, my guys were EPIC.

This area has been a real let down for me this year, but this week, good God! I was concerned with no Harrison or Posluszny, but almost EVERYONE stepped up (except stupid Kerry Rhodes with 12). Leroy Hill only had 22, Jeanty scored 27, and Thomas Davis 30. Lofa Tatupu – 52, in what I hope is (finally) his breakout game. Yeremiah Bell – 61! Welcome to the roster for keeps, dude (you also FINALLY fill my amusing name quotient)! DJ Williams – 44. Great day for the D.

So, I win, and win big, 604-494 in a week when I played a 3rd string QB and my 2 best defenders to this point were out. Back on track, we get over last week’s humiliation and climb to 5-1, retaining the first place standing at about the halfway mark for the season.

MVP – Portis. He leads the real NFL in rushing, and put up 129 this weekend. Awesome game.

LVP – Rhodes. Moss struggled because his quarterback struggled. Rhodes struggled…I dunno, because he just isn’t playing very well right now? He might be the guy under the axe now that Bell is sticking.