The Horde Board the Landing Craft, Ready to Invade

Clear reference in title for what post is about – 1, creativity of any kind at all – 0.

First off, the roster moves. Griese was dumped for wideout DJ Hackett (insurance in the wake of the Boldin injury), TE Scheffler was dropped for Tampa counterpart Alex Smith (still interested in Zach Miller, but Oakland’s got a bye week), pissoff artist Laron Landry was violently punted for Kansas City’s Jarrad Page (bad offence=defence on the field all day=lots of tackles), and Joey Galloway, who has yet to play this season, disappeared in favour of Arizona’s Steve Breaston (starts with Boldin out AND gives bonus points with his return yards). Added awesome points, the Livewriter spellchecker wants to change Breaston to Breakstone, which is fairly badass.

Yes, it’s that time again! This week, the 4-0 Northern Horde face what looks to be a tougher test vs. the 3-1 Arlington Atomics.

QB – It’s Douchebag again! With Big Ben facing ANOTHER nasty D, Rivers plays for the 4th week in a row, facing the Miami Dolphins, aka ‘We used to have some playmakers on defence. Against that, the Atomics are currently lining up Jacksonville’s David Garrard against a vicious Pittsburgh Steeler D. Advantage, me.

RB – He’s got San Fran’s Frank Gore against New England (who also used to be good at playing defence, but who are solid against the run with a D-line that’s still quite good), Tennessee’s Chris Johnson against a Baltimore team that kills the run, then feeds the backs to their defensive tackles at halftime, and Green Bay’s Ryan Grant, who should carve the Atlanta Falcons and their D-line full of midget pass rushers. With Steven Jackson on a bye this week, I counter with Portis against Philly (tough, but the Eagles are usually better against the pass than the run) and Jonathan Stewart against the Chiefs, who got their one win last week, and can now return to looking like they’d be physically overwhelmed by a kindergarten class. He gets the edge for having 3 backs to my 2, but scoring wise, it should be close on average.

WR/TE – My new tight end is Tampa’s Alex Smith. I don’t expect fireworks vs. Denver, but some solid numbers should be doable against a defence that let KANSAS CITY score 33 points. Marshall and Moss go again, versus Philly (could be tough) and Tampa respectively. Joining them are San Diego’s Vincent Jackson returning for the first time since week one, and facing a horrific Miami secondary, and newcomer Steve Breaston of Arizona (vs. Buffalo). He replaces Boldin both in my lineup AND the Cardinals lineup, as Boldin had his bell rung, and a sinus fractured, in a BRUTAL hit last week that saw him leave the stadium on a spineboard in the back of an ambulance. In the long term, it sounds like he’ll be okay. Against that, the Atomics roll out New England’s Wes Welker against San Fran (valuable player in a points-per-catch league with a dink and dunk quarterback), Houston’s Kevin Walter against Indy (only seems to produce when teammate Andre Johnson is hurt…he isn’t) and San Fran’s Isaac Bruce against New England (has looked surprisingly fleet of foot so far this year). He has Washington’s Chris Cooley against Philly at tight end, and with Philly speed at linebacker, he could have issues making too many plays. Advantage, me.

K – I continue with Matt Prater, coming off that insane 96 point outing last week. I’m met with Atlanta’s Jason Elam against the Packers. Elam is deadly accurate, and can still boot the long one. I’m gonna call this a tie.

Defenders – Goddamn, does he have some big individual point producers. Chicago’s Brian Urlacher, Green Bay’s Nick Barnett (ANOTHER week facing a guy I wanted!), Detroit’s Ernie Sims (also known as ‘The entire Detroit defence) and Indy’s Gary Brackett (their run d isn’t good, but he piles up the tackles and deflections) are all capable of putting up huge stats. On my side, seasonlong disappointment Marcus Trufant and new DB Jarrad Page of KC step in to the lineup at DB, with the Jets Kerry Rhodes on a Bye and Landry…oh, who cares, maybe puking his intestines out in an alley somewhere. Tatupu is back, so he replaces Jeanty at one of the DL positions. I have to give him the advantage on D.

Overall, this week actually looks quite tight. This could be the game that comes down to defensive scoring, and that would not appear to really favour me at all this week. Between the two of us, the only guy playing Monday night is one of his DBs, Minnesota’s Antoine Winfield, and the only Sunday nighters are Garrard for him and DL James Harrison for me (I do need to give him his props, actually, for having another kickass game last week on Monday against Baltimore). So, by the end of the Sunday afternoon games, we should have a pretty good idea of how this bitch is gonna turn out. Yahoo favours him by about 40.