So, having posted a few things regarding Ben Roethlisberger’s proclivities for surviving no-helmet motorbike collisions with cars, boozing it up, and skanks, I figured I’d throw a few pics up just to offer some testimony to why I revere this man as a bearded God (even though I’m planning on benching him again this week. Early season Baltimore defense – scary…dickish Rivers facing Raiders defense does not. Oakland really should consider throwing Darth and the rest of their fan base on the field…they would be intimidating! Seriously, you telling me an opposing quarterback isn’t shitting his pants when he has to face off with a Sith lord???).
Ben Roethlisberger's Face - 1 Car - 0.
All of that damage was done to the vehicle by his helmetless head and upper body. The effect? He spent 2 nights in a hospital. The car was a writeoff. In my books, that simply equals awesome.
Asphalt no match for blood of a Roethlisberger
This one’s a bit odd…apparently, these are bloodstains after the crash. Is it just me, or does his blood seem to eat away at solid material like that of one of the creatures from the Alien movies? No wonder defenders often seem scared of the guy…I wouldn’t be real eager to hit someone hard if he might spring a leak that would melt off my damn arm! (By the way, I got these pics by typing Ben Roethlisberger Hit By Car Pics in to Google, which officially goes down as the most bizarre/disturbing search I think I have ever launched).
And now, the lighter side of Ben…
Yar, mateys, I smell the overtanned hide of the bar skank!
Really, the T-shirt says it all (they’re also very big sellers at sports apparel stores in the Pittsburgh area. Something tells me they aren’t as effective for fat industrial workers who don’t have 9 figure contracts). Clearly, a very sober Ben always has time for his fans.
Being a professional athlete, Ben knows the importance of proper hydration.
Clearly, he cares that all of his guests are well lubricated. I’ll just let that insanely obvious double entendre sit and marinate for awhile.
I’m going to be completely honest…things like this are actually half the reason I drafted the guy. Sure, I figured he had potential for a great season, but there were a number of quiarterbacks I could have taken when I picked him. None of them take out cars with their face, or freely let themselves get photographed boozing it up with floozies. I think I made the right choice.
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