Operation Fantasy Redux

Lendale White? That’s a joke, right? Seriously.

Ugh…

Lendale White? That’s a joke, right? Seriously.

Ugh…

Yeah, like I said…he’s big, he’s fat, he’s an idiot…and he puts up 1100 and 12 TDs. I mean, certainly he’s no Chris Brown, who is certainly an otherworldly talent in the mold of…well…mould.

Yeah, like I said…he’s big, he’s fat, he’s an idiot…and he puts up 1100 and 12 TDs. I mean, certainly he’s no Chris Brown, who is certainly an otherworldly talent in the mold of…well…mould.

He’s also no Chris Johnson, who they drafted in the first round to start at HB.

and your mo(u)lds are backwards.

He’s also no Chris Johnson, who they drafted in the first round to start at HB.

and your mo(u)lds are backwards.

and isn’t Engram decimated?

and isn’t Engram decimated?

Chris Johnson’s not a starter, he’s a horrific waste of a draft pick, and a reflection of how awful Chris Henry was as a pick LAST year in Round 2. Plus, they do need all the running backs they can get, since their passing attack looks so awful they’re going to be rushing about 50 times a game to win.

And maybe my mo(u)lds AREN’T backwards…maybe I’m simply understanding them from a higher plane than you can even conceive of!

And, yes, Engram’s out 3-6 weeks with an arm problem, which isn’t a particularly big worry, since Branch is already out in to the regular season, Burleson still can’t consistently catch a football, and Ben Obomanu remains nothing more than a guy with an amusing last name.

Chris Johnson’s not a starter, he’s a horrific waste of a draft pick, and a reflection of how awful Chris Henry was as a pick LAST year in Round 2. Plus, they do need all the running backs they can get, since their passing attack looks so awful they’re going to be rushing about 50 times a game to win.

And maybe my mo(u)lds AREN’T backwards…maybe I’m simply understanding them from a higher plane than you can even conceive of!

And, yes, Engram’s out 3-6 weeks with an arm problem, which isn’t a particularly big worry, since Branch is already out in to the regular season, Burleson still can’t consistently catch a football, and Ben Obomanu remains nothing more than a guy with an amusing last name.

Yes, on further investigation, Johnson weighs about 195 pounds, and wasn’t even a starter in college. He was splitting the workload…AT EAST CAROLINA, with some guy apparently named Dominique Lindsay. He basically was picked because he runs real fast. Man oh man, that college scouting department for the Titans is truly something.

Yes, on further investigation, Johnson weighs about 195 pounds, and wasn’t even a starter in college. He was splitting the workload…AT EAST CAROLINA, with some guy apparently named Dominique Lindsay. He basically was picked because he runs real fast. Man oh man, that college scouting department for the Titans is truly something.

Dud though he may be, Chris Johnson is going to eat into Lendale White’s carries and if he shows anything, he’ll be named the starter, you know that as well as I do.

Plus, we ALL know who the starting running back is, and his name is Vince Young.

You can keep all the moldy plane moulds you want. That’s your own thing.

Keep an eye on Matt Forte. if he was available and you took Lendale Wide and the injured Jon Stewart, you are a feeb.

FEEB.

Dwayne Jarrett is going to do things this year. I have a feeling. Probably because his quarterback this year didn’t go to Fresno State or Bedrock University.

I am also predicting big things (well, reasonably-sized things) for Robert Meachem of the New Orleans Saints. Yes, he fell apart last year but apparently he’s doing well this preseason so far.

Of course, I was also saying that the Jaguars would regret getting rid of Byron Leftwich. Pfff….

Dud though he may be, Chris Johnson is going to eat into Lendale White’s carries and if he shows anything, he’ll be named the starter, you know that as well as I do.

Plus, we ALL know who the starting running back is, and his name is Vince Young.

You can keep all the moldy plane moulds you want. That’s your own thing.

Keep an eye on Matt Forte. if he was available and you took Lendale Wide and the injured Jon Stewart, you are a feeb.

FEEB.

Dwayne Jarrett is going to do things this year. I have a feeling. Probably because his quarterback this year didn’t go to Fresno State or Bedrock University.

I am also predicting big things (well, reasonably-sized things) for Robert Meachem of the New Orleans Saints. Yes, he fell apart last year but apparently he’s doing well this preseason so far.

Of course, I was also saying that the Jaguars would regret getting rid of Byron Leftwich. Pfff….

Dwayne Jarrett is going to have to bust his ass to be the #4 receiver to start the season off. I’m pretty sure he’ll be available later on if he moves up the ladder.

Forte’s still available…I took Stewart over him because Stewart’s on a much better offense. I’m also not too concerned about DeAngelo Williams, because he has never fit as the starting back in that power offense…he’s a speed, change of pace guy. And that’s where Stewart comes in (the same as White in Tennessee)…when they hit the red zone, the big backs are going in to the game. I don’t care if Johnson takes 10-12 carries, because White is going to be the guy when they need that 2 yard TD, not some 195 pound scatback.

Meachem could very well do some big things. I mean, Colston’s a stud, but beyond him, look who their big receivers were last year. David Patten? LANCE MOORE? I think Tim Brown might actually be taller than Lance Moore! Meachem was just stuck trying to learn a really complex pass-heavy attack (and I seem to remember him getting hurt in training camp), so I think he could jump up…when it comes to receivers I’m keeping an eye on, he tops the list. (I still think he was a questionable draft pick, though, because I think a linebacker, defensive tackle or corner would have filled a bigger hole. You know, instead of spending 2 gazillion dollars on Jason David. Hmmm…David, Moore, Reggie Bush…are the Saints TRYING to field a team of football midgets? Aside from Colston, of course).

Aaaah, Byron ‘Pear’ Leftwich. Throws real hard, doncha know!

Dwayne Jarrett is going to have to bust his ass to be the #4 receiver to start the season off. I’m pretty sure he’ll be available later on if he moves up the ladder.

Forte’s still available…I took Stewart over him because Stewart’s on a much better offense. I’m also not too concerned about DeAngelo Williams, because he has never fit as the starting back in that power offense…he’s a speed, change of pace guy. And that’s where Stewart comes in (the same as White in Tennessee)…when they hit the red zone, the big backs are going in to the game. I don’t care if Johnson takes 10-12 carries, because White is going to be the guy when they need that 2 yard TD, not some 195 pound scatback.

Meachem could very well do some big things. I mean, Colston’s a stud, but beyond him, look who their big receivers were last year. David Patten? LANCE MOORE? I think Tim Brown might actually be taller than Lance Moore! Meachem was just stuck trying to learn a really complex pass-heavy attack (and I seem to remember him getting hurt in training camp), so I think he could jump up…when it comes to receivers I’m keeping an eye on, he tops the list. (I still think he was a questionable draft pick, though, because I think a linebacker, defensive tackle or corner would have filled a bigger hole. You know, instead of spending 2 gazillion dollars on Jason David. Hmmm…David, Moore, Reggie Bush…are the Saints TRYING to field a team of football midgets? Aside from Colston, of course).

Aaaah, Byron ‘Pear’ Leftwich. Throws real hard, doncha know!

No more defensive lineman early picks for the Saints. Too many as it is. Charles Grant, Darren Howard, Will Smith, that Whitehead guy, Johnathan Sullivan… enough, already.

I agree that they probably should have passed on Meachem but they got him, so hopefully he’ll step up.

Devery Henderson was pretty good, from what I remember. And didn’t Bush catch nearly a hundred passes? A lot of those were spread out in the slot.

Jarrett … who’s ahead of him? I mean Muhsin Mohammed is there, and Steve Smith, yes, but is Keary Colbert ahead of him on the depth chart? If so, why? Just you wait. He’s going to do something.

I think within the next couple of years, Vincent Jackson is going to be top 5.

No more defensive lineman early picks for the Saints. Too many as it is. Charles Grant, Darren Howard, Will Smith, that Whitehead guy, Johnathan Sullivan… enough, already.

I agree that they probably should have passed on Meachem but they got him, so hopefully he’ll step up.

Devery Henderson was pretty good, from what I remember. And didn’t Bush catch nearly a hundred passes? A lot of those were spread out in the slot.

Jarrett … who’s ahead of him? I mean Muhsin Mohammed is there, and Steve Smith, yes, but is Keary Colbert ahead of him on the depth chart? If so, why? Just you wait. He’s going to do something.

I think within the next couple of years, Vincent Jackson is going to be top 5.

Vincent Jackson is a BEAST. I was VERY happy to see him sitting there when I got him. I think most people are assuming that the other guys are going to be getting all the catches, ignoring the fact that Gates is hurt in to the regular season, and once Chambers came in, it was Jackson whose stats jumped up. Of course, this all depends on Philip the Douche and his knee.

Devery Henderson dropped a ton of football last year…he just seemed to completely collapse. Bush caught…I wanna say 88…passes as a rookie, but then last year they were pitifully trying to prove “No, no, he IS a top tier running back!”

As for Jarrett, he goes in #4. Smith is #1, DJ Hackett is #2, Muhammad’s the dependable slot guy. Colbert is in…I believe he’s in Denver. Anyway, Jarrett will play. I mean, he’s the slot guy for weeks one and two while Smith is suspended. And as good as Hackett is, he’s also one of the most injury prone football players I have ever seen. And Muhammad’s…what…49 years old now? And he has absolutely no speed left. If Dwayne has grown up after his awful rookie season, there’s a big opportunity for him, but he’s going to have to earn it.

Vincent Jackson is a BEAST. I was VERY happy to see him sitting there when I got him. I think most people are assuming that the other guys are going to be getting all the catches, ignoring the fact that Gates is hurt in to the regular season, and once Chambers came in, it was Jackson whose stats jumped up. Of course, this all depends on Philip the Douche and his knee.

Devery Henderson dropped a ton of football last year…he just seemed to completely collapse. Bush caught…I wanna say 88…passes as a rookie, but then last year they were pitifully trying to prove “No, no, he IS a top tier running back!”

As for Jarrett, he goes in #4. Smith is #1, DJ Hackett is #2, Muhammad’s the dependable slot guy. Colbert is in…I believe he’s in Denver. Anyway, Jarrett will play. I mean, he’s the slot guy for weeks one and two while Smith is suspended. And as good as Hackett is, he’s also one of the most injury prone football players I have ever seen. And Muhammad’s…what…49 years old now? And he has absolutely no speed left. If Dwayne has grown up after his awful rookie season, there’s a big opportunity for him, but he’s going to have to earn it.

With Bush, it doesn’t help that Deuce was out last year. I’ve never seen RB as a true between-the-pipes running back. He’s always been like a super-heroic version of Eric Metcalf or David Meggett. One who should always be on the field. If the supposed offensive guru Sean Payton could find a way to use him properly, I think that could be one of the better offenses in the league, with Deuce and Bennett taking the role of traditional running back and Bush splitting into the slot or in a full-house backfield. But I’m no swami.

I wasn’t aware of the suckage of Devery Henderson last year. I still think he’s going to be in front of Meachem on the Depth Chart and eat away at his catches.

I forgot the Panthers got Hackett. If Jarrett proves himself in TC and the preseason, he could very easily find himself ahead of either Hackett or Mohammed. You have to think the Panthers are going to give him every chance to succeed…

Keary Colbert sucks. There’s really nothing more to say about him.

How about the Hefty Lefty, Jared Lorenzen, looking to supplant the Sorgi?

With Bush, it doesn’t help that Deuce was out last year. I’ve never seen RB as a true between-the-pipes running back. He’s always been like a super-heroic version of Eric Metcalf or David Meggett. One who should always be on the field. If the supposed offensive guru Sean Payton could find a way to use him properly, I think that could be one of the better offenses in the league, with Deuce and Bennett taking the role of traditional running back and Bush splitting into the slot or in a full-house backfield. But I’m no swami.

I wasn’t aware of the suckage of Devery Henderson last year. I still think he’s going to be in front of Meachem on the Depth Chart and eat away at his catches.

I forgot the Panthers got Hackett. If Jarrett proves himself in TC and the preseason, he could very easily find himself ahead of either Hackett or Mohammed. You have to think the Panthers are going to give him every chance to succeed…

Keary Colbert sucks. There’s really nothing more to say about him.

How about the Hefty Lefty, Jared Lorenzen, looking to supplant the Sorgi?

Bush is certainly a talent, but he’s one of those guys you can’t use in a traditional way. And I agree totally with the Eric Metcalf comparison…nice speed back, terrific receiver, and very good return guy. You get him his 20-25 touches a game, but you do it through a mix of carries, catches and returns. Anyway, I like the Saints offense this year…I think Payton had to struggle for a year. Seriously, anytime ANY coach is anointed as ‘the next big thing’, it seems like he has to suck the next year. (By the way, just for the sake of clarity, I am not including Mangini in this category, as I don’t think much of him as a coach at all).

I wasn’t even aware the Saints HAD resigned Henderson…he was a free agent the last I heard, but, yep, he’s there now. Well, if he gets his hands back, he’s certainly back in the mix.

I could see Jarrett in the slot (you know, AFTER Smith comes back, when it will actually count for something). I do think Hackett will start…from what I’ve read, he’s very ticked at how last year turned out, and it sounds like he came in to camp totally fired up and ready to go.

Aaah, Lorenzen. Can he fill the role of holding a clipboard and watching? Well…yes, we already know he can. But he can do it at 300 pounds, baby! The league needs Jared Lorenzen!

Bush is certainly a talent, but he’s one of those guys you can’t use in a traditional way. And I agree totally with the Eric Metcalf comparison…nice speed back, terrific receiver, and very good return guy. You get him his 20-25 touches a game, but you do it through a mix of carries, catches and returns. Anyway, I like the Saints offense this year…I think Payton had to struggle for a year. Seriously, anytime ANY coach is anointed as ‘the next big thing’, it seems like he has to suck the next year. (By the way, just for the sake of clarity, I am not including Mangini in this category, as I don’t think much of him as a coach at all).

I wasn’t even aware the Saints HAD resigned Henderson…he was a free agent the last I heard, but, yep, he’s there now. Well, if he gets his hands back, he’s certainly back in the mix.

I could see Jarrett in the slot (you know, AFTER Smith comes back, when it will actually count for something). I do think Hackett will start…from what I’ve read, he’s very ticked at how last year turned out, and it sounds like he came in to camp totally fired up and ready to go.

Aaah, Lorenzen. Can he fill the role of holding a clipboard and watching? Well…yes, we already know he can. But he can do it at 300 pounds, baby! The league needs Jared Lorenzen!

I think you should stick with your Lendale White All-Feeb team.

I think you should stick with your Lendale White All-Feeb team.

Nah, I’m going with what will likely be an all-Feeb time where my hopes of winning something will be ruthlessly dashed against the hard edge of reality (although, actually, unless my baseball team suffers a meltdown of HISTORIC proportions, I should be a large winner in THAT league, so maybe there’s a faint chance of it actually working out).

Nah, I’m going with what will likely be an all-Feeb time where my hopes of winning something will be ruthlessly dashed against the hard edge of reality (although, actually, unless my baseball team suffers a meltdown of HISTORIC proportions, I should be a large winner in THAT league, so maybe there’s a faint chance of it actually working out).

Okay. You lost me. You’re not going to report on the Maple Tundra, but on a different team that will not do very well?

Okay. You lost me. You’re not going to report on the Maple Tundra, but on a different team that will not do very well?

Last year’s team I kept updating everyone on was in the Matrix league. It didn’t appear they were going to HAVE any leagues this year, so I had just decided to post on that Maple Tundra team instead. Anyway, Matrix then changed their minds and set up leagues again after all. So, I’m going to concentrate on one of the two teams I will have over there. One is similar to the team I updates about last year…that strange team format with 2 QBs, 2 Kickers, and 2 Defenses playing every week. The other uses a traditional offensive player format, but has 8 individual defensive PLAYERS, rather than team defenses. It’s going to be one or the other…pick one. That simple.

The draft’s for both teams will happen in a week and a half. So, if you really want, we could wait and see what both rosters look like, but I don’t like that option, since it sort of makes it more likely I’ll just pick whichever team ends up looking like the better one.

Last year’s team I kept updating everyone on was in the Matrix league. It didn’t appear they were going to HAVE any leagues this year, so I had just decided to post on that Maple Tundra team instead. Anyway, Matrix then changed their minds and set up leagues again after all. So, I’m going to concentrate on one of the two teams I will have over there. One is similar to the team I updates about last year…that strange team format with 2 QBs, 2 Kickers, and 2 Defenses playing every week. The other uses a traditional offensive player format, but has 8 individual defensive PLAYERS, rather than team defenses. It’s going to be one or the other…pick one. That simple.

The draft’s for both teams will happen in a week and a half. So, if you really want, we could wait and see what both rosters look like, but I don’t like that option, since it sort of makes it more likely I’ll just pick whichever team ends up looking like the better one.

I vote on the individual defensive players league. That’s more intriguing to me.

I vote on the individual defensive players league. That’s more intriguing to me.

I was kinda hoping that would get more interest. I really have no idea where to rank defenders during a draft…so it also has the potential to be an unmitigated disaster, which equals “Freaked Out Cliff GM”, which tends to equal zany fun.

I was kinda hoping that would get more interest. I really have no idea where to rank defenders during a draft…so it also has the potential to be an unmitigated disaster, which equals “Freaked Out Cliff GM”, which tends to equal zany fun.

What are the point breakdowns for the defensive players?

What are the point breakdowns for the defensive players?

Let me check that RIGHT NOW…

Okay, every week you start 3 defensive linemen, 3 defensive backs, and 2 defensive players from any position. I guess they put it this way to prevent people from just loading up on linebackers to maximize points from tackles. Scoring is…

Solo tackle – 5
Tackle assist – 2
Sack – 9
Interception – 12
Fumble Forced – 10
Fumble Recovery – 6
Safety – 15
Pass Defensed – 7 (Yahoo tracks this? That’s kinda cool).
Blocked Kick – 18
TD – 21

Now, those are insanely high point totals, but keep in mind the offensive scoring is really high, too. (TD pass – 12, TD run – 15, TD catch – 18, 1 point per catch, and about a point per 50 yards passing/30 yards rushing or receiving), which is the other reason I wanted to change my reportage over to the Matrix league…with thyat much scoring going on, it’s rare that a week is decided before the end of the Monday nighter.

Now, obviously, premier offensive playmakers are still key, BUT, with having to start 3 linemen and 3 DBs, landing some consistent playmakers on that side is also going to be a big deal. Even with the big points of receivers, there are so many guys who can put up good stats there that I’d still push to get a RB and a QB first, so long as I’m not reaching.

Let me check that RIGHT NOW…

Okay, every week you start 3 defensive linemen, 3 defensive backs, and 2 defensive players from any position. I guess they put it this way to prevent people from just loading up on linebackers to maximize points from tackles. Scoring is…

Solo tackle – 5
Tackle assist – 2
Sack – 9
Interception – 12
Fumble Forced – 10
Fumble Recovery – 6
Safety – 15
Pass Defensed – 7 (Yahoo tracks this? That’s kinda cool).
Blocked Kick – 18
TD – 21

Now, those are insanely high point totals, but keep in mind the offensive scoring is really high, too. (TD pass – 12, TD run – 15, TD catch – 18, 1 point per catch, and about a point per 50 yards passing/30 yards rushing or receiving), which is the other reason I wanted to change my reportage over to the Matrix league…with thyat much scoring going on, it’s rare that a week is decided before the end of the Monday nighter.

Now, obviously, premier offensive playmakers are still key, BUT, with having to start 3 linemen and 3 DBs, landing some consistent playmakers on that side is also going to be a big deal. Even with the big points of receivers, there are so many guys who can put up good stats there that I’d still push to get a RB and a QB first, so long as I’m not reaching.

Get DeMeco Ryans. He’s a tackling machine and with their defense, they’ll be on the field a LOT.

Get DeMeco Ryans. He’s a tackling machine and with their defense, they’ll be on the field a LOT.

He’s definitely one of the linebackers I’d love to snag. I think my first 2 choices, though, would be Lofa Tatupu and Karlos Dansby…they get a ton of tackles, picks, sacks, fumble stats…they get EVERYTHING. For DBs, I’d love to get Adrian Wilson, for the exact same reason…he contributes in every single stat category around. And I think a DB to look at late could be Quentin Jammer. Cromartie’s better, and had 10 picks last year, so EVERYBODY is going to be throwing at Jammer this year. Unless he has cement blocks for hands, he’s almost a lock for, say, 5 picks?

I’m trying to think of some ‘under the radar’ pass rushers up front, but that’s sort of like trying to think of ‘under the radar’ quarterbacks…they tend to get a lot of attention.

He’s definitely one of the linebackers I’d love to snag. I think my first 2 choices, though, would be Lofa Tatupu and Karlos Dansby…they get a ton of tackles, picks, sacks, fumble stats…they get EVERYTHING. For DBs, I’d love to get Adrian Wilson, for the exact same reason…he contributes in every single stat category around. And I think a DB to look at late could be Quentin Jammer. Cromartie’s better, and had 10 picks last year, so EVERYBODY is going to be throwing at Jammer this year. Unless he has cement blocks for hands, he’s almost a lock for, say, 5 picks?

I’m trying to think of some ‘under the radar’ pass rushers up front, but that’s sort of like trying to think of ‘under the radar’ quarterbacks…they tend to get a lot of attention.

Elvis Dumerville, Shantee Orr could see a lot of playing time in Cleveland, you might be able to luck into Gholston late, whoever’s playing end in Oakland and Cincinnati could benefit from some amazing tackle play, whoever’s taking over for Jared Allen in KC could do something, Peppers is going to bounce back, likely…

Elvis Dumerville, Shantee Orr could see a lot of playing time in Cleveland, you might be able to luck into Gholston late, whoever’s playing end in Oakland and Cincinnati could benefit from some amazing tackle play, whoever’s taking over for Jared Allen in KC could do something, Peppers is going to bounce back, likely…

Yeah, I’m betting Peppers will be one of the first linemen taken, though, despite his awful season last year. Dumervil…THAT is a guy to keep in mind late! EXACTLY the kind of name I was looking for! Orr could do something in Cleveland, and, actually, so could Travis LaBoy in Arizona…he fits better as a 3-4 rush linebacker than he did as a tiny tweener of a defensive end. And the end opposite Allen, that’s also a good choice, since he is NEVER seeing an extra blocker with all that talent sharing the line with him. Looks like it should be Ray Edwards. I seem to recall hearing some hype about him maybe being a draft sleeper when he was picked last year…

Anyway, I’ve been messing around with a new set of pre-draft rankings for this draft. I figure it’s probably not worth thinki9ng about grabbing defenders until about halfway in, simply because only a few defensive players are going to put up the kinds of numbers that good offensive playmakers will.

Yeah, I’m betting Peppers will be one of the first linemen taken, though, despite his awful season last year. Dumervil…THAT is a guy to keep in mind late! EXACTLY the kind of name I was looking for! Orr could do something in Cleveland, and, actually, so could Travis LaBoy in Arizona…he fits better as a 3-4 rush linebacker than he did as a tiny tweener of a defensive end. And the end opposite Allen, that’s also a good choice, since he is NEVER seeing an extra blocker with all that talent sharing the line with him. Looks like it should be Ray Edwards. I seem to recall hearing some hype about him maybe being a draft sleeper when he was picked last year…

Anyway, I’ve been messing around with a new set of pre-draft rankings for this draft. I figure it’s probably not worth thinki9ng about grabbing defenders until about halfway in, simply because only a few defensive players are going to put up the kinds of numbers that good offensive playmakers will.

Calvin Pace, against all odds, seems to be poised to do something in New York, too.

Calvin Pace, against all odds, seems to be poised to do something in New York, too.

Yeah, he could actually be a good fit there. The problem with him (and with LaBoy, actually), is that they’re linebackers. I don’t see them piling up MASSIVE sack totals, so there’s no way I would pick either of them ahead of a middle-man who has a shot at racking up big tackle totals, since I can only play 2 linebackers, max. Now, if perhaps Yahoo decides to ‘cheat’ and classify them as linemen, it’s all good. I don’t really know, because the rankings list for defensive players right now is absolute nonsense…there’s a few guys you’ve heard of, and a bunch of filler. So, either it’s going to be updated right before the draft, or that’s SUPPOSED to be how it is, in which case this could become very interesting in the crapshoot sense.

Yeah, he could actually be a good fit there. The problem with him (and with LaBoy, actually), is that they’re linebackers. I don’t see them piling up MASSIVE sack totals, so there’s no way I would pick either of them ahead of a middle-man who has a shot at racking up big tackle totals, since I can only play 2 linebackers, max. Now, if perhaps Yahoo decides to ‘cheat’ and classify them as linemen, it’s all good. I don’t really know, because the rankings list for defensive players right now is absolute nonsense…there’s a few guys you’ve heard of, and a bunch of filler. So, either it’s going to be updated right before the draft, or that’s SUPPOSED to be how it is, in which case this could become very interesting in the crapshoot sense.