Yes, indeed, it’s time for another glimpse in to my life of complete and utter geekery!
The only new game I’ve picked up in about the last month is Out of the Park Baseball 9, and technically it doesn’t REALLY count, because I had pre-ordered it back in May to save $15 off the release price! IT’s an insanely detailed sports management sim, which basically means I am a pig in shit (question…do pigs REALLY like being in shit? How do we know their squeals as they roll around aren’t saying “Fuck! I fell over AGAIN…stop standing their lookin’ at me, ya fuckin’ farmer and GET THE DAMN HOSE!”). I haven’t yet built the 1994 Montreal Expos in to the title-contending team they would have been had the strike/lockout not cut the season short, and, quite frankly, destroyed the franchise, but it’s looming! Give me some better defensive players (I had forgotten how bad of a shortstop Wil Cordero was. The man could have worn skillets on both hands and it really wouldn’t have negatively affected his fielding at all. Also, I think Darrin Fletcher’s ability to throw out baserunners from the catcher position is adversely affected by the fact that his throwing arm has apparently been replaced by a glob of cooked spinach), and I’ll FINALLY knock those goddamn Braves off the division’s top!
Fantasy Wars has been taking up a fair amount of time…pretty sweet game, actually, especially for the $25 I dropped for it…if you at all like simple strategy games, pick the damn game up. If you have ever played any of the old General series that SSI made back in the day (Panzer General 1 through about 6000, Allied General, Fantasy General, Star General, People’s General…I swear, they were maybe 6 weeks from making Pizza General and Smurf General, the way things were going), it’s very similar. Actually, I think it’s fair to call it a prettier remake of Fantasy General, which was the most underrated of that whole earlier series, in my opinion. Easy to learn, easy to play, but not easy to finish. Nothing groundbreaking…there are 3 campaigns…one Human, one Orc, and one Elven…apparently if you finish those, there’s a Dwarven one as well, but I don’t know if I’ll ever see it, cause towards the latter stages, it gets TOUGH. My only quibble with the game is…well, there’s 2, actually. The cut scenes are awful. Just awful. Luckily they’re rare, and they’re short. The weird issue is with the sound…it’s really, REALLY unbalanced. The music plays at a sound level you’d expect, but the combat sound is insanely quiet, no matter what your volume settings are at. Then someone will encounter some artifact or something and speak, and the booming voice will rupture your goddamn eardrums. You’ll be barely hearing this tiny little ‘ting ting ting’ as a sword battle occurs between some trolls and your Royal Guard, when suddenly your moving archer encounters an altar, and up pops the Priest character “BY THE TIDES OF MARCUS, WE’VE FOUND HIS SPEAR OF ETERNAL SALVATION!”. The only real explanation is that the sound engineer was a deaf moron.
I have rediscovered my love for Steel Panthers : World at War, at around the same time I’ve finally started playing Company of Heroes. Actually, the two offer a pretty fair juxtaposition…both cover World War 2, but both are VASTLY different games.
CoH, of course, calls itself the most realistic strategic gaming experience to date (those words are actually spoken during the intro to the tutorial…am I the only one finding it sad that, even after I’ve bought the game, it still feels the need to sell itself to me? Jesus, if I go get a hooker, after she’s done, I don’t expect her to keep chirping about her $40 blowjob is the best on the fucking block. And, yes, I made that comparison just to be crude). First off, it looks INSANELY good. I’ve got the graphics settings maxed out, and good GOD does this game look good. It also sounds amazing. Relic brought in a bunch of the actual WW2-era weapons and recorded their firing sounds, and good grief can you tell! You will find yourself often watching battles for a few moments, utterly transfixed. The dialogue shouted out by the men is also really top notch, and seems to have an air of authenticity about it.
[youtube]5N0F8LEmpSc[/youtube]
Looks nice, right? However, right there in the video, there are inherent problems. Number one, this is a very small, centered engagement…imagine a map where you start in a more central location, spread out to take more territory, and are suddenly engaged in 4 different places, all running at that speed? Sort of takes away from the game for 20 seconds when I have to pause just to have time to see what in the Hell is actually going on, and issue orders. The AI is good enough that men will dive away from grenades and fire back without having to be told, generally, they’ll stay alive, which helps, but it’s still a pain in the ass. Number 2 : Did you notice the American player attacked that German position with nothing but tanks? I’m sorry, were this a ‘realistic simulation’, as they CLAIMED, that would result in several torn open hulks smoking on the battlefield. Troops in that treeline would have demolished armour with no accompanying infantry. Number 3, though, is the kicker. Like every other goddamn RTS game, there’s the resource management bullshit to deal with. If I’m a Company commander, I’m MAYBE a Colonel…yet apparently it’s my job to set up barracks, complete with basement cloning labs to spit out new infantry units (how else to explain the sudden appearance of these guys from a structure that, 30 seconds ago, was a fucking bombed out hotel? And, really, if the Allies are using Genetic Engineering, are they REALLY the good guys)? Or, even better, I build a tank factory and start building my own armour! What the fuck?! World in Conflict had it right…if you could afford reinforcements, you called them in, you didn’t build goddamn Abrams tanks in the middle of a battlefield! If that’s all this was, earning Reinforcement points, then calling them in, and they’d appear from off map, I’d have no complaint…but, no…now I have to husband Munitions and Fuel resource points?! That’s just stupid. And, for me, it kind of takes away from this game to have it become just another RTS production festival, especially when the numbers are so totally skewed that it’s actually CHEAPER and better to build a force of primarily heavy tanks, than to make a bunch of infantry, with some armour in support. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, DUMB. Finally, there’s no middle ground for the levels…they’re either fun, or they suck. My reaction goes to either “Shit, that was SWEET!” to “Shit, that sucked!”, and there’s never anything in between. A blast, or complete frustration. And I can’t imagine having any fun playing this online against some tweaked up 16 year old with the click reflexes of some kind of loser savant. In conclusion, at this point…the base game is only 20 bucks, so it’s not a bad buy. The Gold Edition is $40, and incloudes the Opposing Fronts expansion…maybe hold off unless the demo blows you away.
Then, we come to SP : WaW. It ain’t pretty in ANY way. It’s based on code that’s over 10 years old (yet it runs fine on my new machine, and stuff half it’s age needs tweaked startup settings…explain THAT shit). It’s turn based, rather than real time (I really don’t have a preference, by the way…it depends on the game, and how it’s done). And it is fantastic!
Part of my problem with WW2 based games as a whole is the limited scope. Based on Medal of Honour and Call of Duty, someone could be forgiven for thinking that WW2 consisted of about 7 or 8 battles (Defence of Moscow, Stalingrad, Midway, Guadalcanal, D-Day, Operation Market Garden, Battle of the Bulge, Siege of Berlin), and the nations involved spent the months between just lying around drinking tea. I’m sick and tired of the same goddamn fights every goddamn time! I want North Africa, Invasions of Sicily/Italy, Southern France ’44-’45, Aachen, Kursk, the Crimea, Kharkov, Okinawa, Burma…give me the whole damn thing (That’s actually another area where I will happily defend CoH. The best level I’ve played so far is the town of Carentan…airborne troops took it, then faced HEAVY counterattack. In the Defence level there, you get 15 minutes real time to build up your defences and get forces positioned before the onslaught begins. You have to hold at least part of the town for 10 minutes real time against a MASSIVE German attack, and you have just airborne troops with which to do it. It’s one of the coolest fucking levels I have ever played in a game, period. It’s also part of the downloadable demo, so download it and play it, if you’re curious). SP : WaW does that. About 100 campaigns (not including the ability to run a WW2 camp. as any of the major participants, starting in whatever year you want, going for as long as you want, with randomly constructed maps and battle situations that are well done), and probably around 450 scenarios. The fanbase remains big and productive, and keep pumping out more and more material. There’s also an ‘Enhanced Mod’ that changed a few aspects of the game, added a bunch of terrain types, etc., for which a lot of the pre-existing material has been converted to.
Try running tanks through woods without foot troops in this game, and you’ll end up with tanks exploding all over the damn place. Try moving a tank at high speed, then firing on a just-seen machine gun position in a bunker…you’ll have a 3% hit chance, because WW2 era vehicles weren’t so good at that whole firing on the move thing. Blast off some close support artillery…but if your forward observer can’t SEE the area being hit, expect a few round of 155 mm. to fall short and obliterate one of your rifle squads. Do something hasty or stupid, and watch your tanks burn, and your men flee under massed fire. Take your time and be patient, pick your spots, and you MIGHT win (of course, if you have a bunch of jeeps and you decide to go mano a mano with a German Tiger tank…yeah, good luck with that ‘strategy’). Anyway, I could go on and on, gushing over this fucking game, but if you’re curious, check it out. The game is actually free (you can buy a General’s Edition, but you don’t need it). And, look here for more info on additional downloadable stuff.
So, what have we learned? Pretty doesn’t equal better, free stuff is awesome (again, another good free game is Battle for Wesnoth…I’ve got a link to it in my list…I’ve also been playing that quite a bit), and there isn’t enough time in the day to do things (I’m also reading a really good WW2 book called Warlords, which is the war as seen from the perspectives of Hitler, Churchill, Roosevelt, and Stalin, based on interviews with them and their inner circle, and historical documents and interviews).
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http://www.blackbus.org Peter Gulka
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http://www.blackbus.org Peter Gulka
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.blackbus.org Pete
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http://www.blackbus.org Pete
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://liamj.blogspot.com Liam
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff
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http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff




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